First saw it on Kenny’s and then my brother and his friend Xiaoo decided to take it on and so did another friend of my brother’s Ian. Has it become a meme?!
I hope you don’t mind Kenny, but it’s damn sweet and fun! Here’s mine!
I think I’ll call it Ayam The Meme.
I am that girl who pretended that a slipper in the middle of the road was very interesting because I was shy to hold your hand.
I am that girl who flashed her friends to make them laugh.
I am that girl who swore to her mother at the age of 8 in a raging fit saying, “If being a dentist is the last job on the face of the earth, I WON’T EVEN TAKE IT!!!” after getting one of her final milk teeth pulled out at a dental clinic in SS2.
I am that girl who nearly got kidnapped in Subang Parade at the age of 3 on the fateful day that she decided to ponteng kindergarten but nobody seems to take me seriously for it.
I am that girl who wrote a love letter to a boy in standard 2 but he rejected me by throwing my scissors on the floor. Don’t know why.
I am that girl who called her mother a Silly Pucker at age 8 for not playing monopoly and got whacked by her dad who mistook it for Silly Fucker.
I am that girl who did not want to tell her dad where she learnt that word from because she was afraid to be deprived of her Archie Comics so she quickly racked her 8 year old head to find a comic that she could do without – and so she put the blame on her Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck comics instead.
I am that girl who learnt where babies came from at the tender age of 5, courtesy of her Phillipina maid.
I am that girl who actually got sexually harassed at the age of 8 by a chindian guy who wanted to take piano lessons from her mother borrowed her home toilet and claimed that he wet himself and asked her to wipe his dick for him with a towel.
I am that girl who actually wiped his dick with a towel.
I am that girl who remembers it being big and black.
I am that same girl who used loads of handwash to scrub at her hands after he left.(symptoms of a sexually harassed victim)
I am that girl who is NOT emotionally scarred from it and found it very funny albeit dangerous 10 years later.
I am that girl who knows I can report him to the police.
I am also that girl who knows how the fuck can she remember that fucking fuckers face and hence it is impossible to lodge a report.
I am that girl who is now thinking, “my poor virginal 8 year old hands..”.
I am that girl who enjoys telling people that story, partly because it IS the truth and partly because other people’s reaction to it is very interesting.
I am that girl who felt like the ugliest thing in the world when a boy once told her that she was “Fucking ugly, want to vomit,” when she was a mere 12 year old.
I am that girl who has bad period pains and wriggles on the floor.
I am that girl whom you nearly kissed during prom.
I am that girl whose shoulder you cried on whenever he makes you feel emotionally wretched.
I am that girl who gave you a Purple Streetwear Nailpolish in exchange for that cute senior’s ICQ number.
I am that girl who frightened you when she said, “You know, nipple stickers are the bomb.”
I am that girl who is an incurable blog addict.
I am that girl who dies without the internet.
I am that girl who will endure 6 hours to and fro from Kedah to KL just to see you.
I am that girl who wonders if her family will still go to Vietnam for a holiday after paying a bomb for her education.
I am that girl who doesn’t want her friends to go away to study.
I am that girl who will never stand in the way of anyone’s education.
I am that girl who cannot speak mandarin.
I am that girl who believes that she can be more of a hopeless romantic if only she was of a different sex.
I am that girl who loves glitter too much.
I am the same girl whose father told her that if her lungs were to be dissected, they’d find glittery residue in her lungs.
I am that girl who knew you were looking at me so closely when you thought I was asleep; 3 years ago.
I am that girl who once thought it was the end of the world when she had dandruff.
I am that girl who obsesses easily.
I am that girl who is secretly proud to be a year younger than her peers because she will graduate younger.
I am that girl who feels most guilty for the things she has done when she’s shitting in the toilet.
I am that girl who has stopped liking Douglas Lim because of his long hair.
I am that girl who folded you origami hearts with a special note in each and everyone of them and stuffed them all into a cookie jar and sent it to you for this year’s Valentine’s Day.
I am that girl who was overwhelmed when you showed how happy you were to receive the hearts and the cookie jar by saying, ‘I love you!!’.
I am that girl who’s just a wee bit disappointed that you forgot to open this month’s origami heart.
I am that girl who wants to spend new year’s eve watching fireworks with you.
I am that girl who hates her hair.
I am that girl who is out of touch with the Klang Valley for nearly three months.
I am that girl who hasn’t been to the cinema in nearly three months.
I am that girl who actually misses national service.
I am that girl who is such a hypocrite.
I am that girl who made you her diary since the raw beginnings back in 1999.
I am that same girl who can never thank you enough for being the big brother that she has never had.
I am that girl who played rollercoaster with a mattress down the staircase with you as a child.
I am that girl who was your 30th birthday present.
I am that girl who put bubble gum in your hair because you pissed me off.
I am that girl who farted in your face when you were climbing the stairs behind me because I hated the fact that you had a crush on the same guy as me.
I am that girl who hates changes.
I am that girl who is lying down now wondering if the ache in her tummy is a period pain, the impending signs of a good shit or a raging fart.
Damn! This is so friggin’ therapeutic!! This is a voluntary meme, no obligations to listing down a few selected names. It’s good for the brain.