Last Friday, I was with two friends(I only have five friends in Subang whom I can call and expect them to come out within 5 minutes at anytime of the week, so no prizes for guessing who) at Sunway Pyramid, outside that new bar connected to Italiannies. The poor Kedah girl doesn’t know her bar names.
Since this is a potentially sensitive issue, I’m not going to tell you who said what, but rather the gist of it, over Strawberry Margueritas, some lime drink and my yucky China/Beijing/Shanghai Lantern(whateverr, it sucked), we started talking about the open marriage concept.
It’s a concept so it doesn’t actually mean marriage per se. Rather the willingness to grant your partner the freedom, so to speak, to fornicate with someone else other than yourself. So the big question, would you allow your boyfriend/girlfriend to sleep with someone else if you were allowed to do the same? Can you stomach it?
Would you be able to handle the knowledge of your other half romping around in bed with someone else and be expected to remain calm as you welcome him(easier to use one gender) home with open arms at the end of the night? (or the following morning, hoho)
We also talked about how long suffering wives just turn a blind eye to their unfaithful husbands’ misdeeds because they see it as a need of men. Without a husband, they would not have a roof over their heads, no food on their table and the children need ‘a stable environment to grow up in’. A few years ago I might have launched into a full blown rant about chopping penises but I do see a slight teeny-bit of rationale in the turning-a-blind-eye thing now. You still need to sit down and weigh the consequences. Is it an emotional betrayal? Is he being a man? But deep down, I am still sharpening that parang for unforeseen circumstances.
My guy friend, in his contribution to the topic, mentioned that he would be okay with this whole sleeping with other people thing, but at the same time, he wouldn’t be able to accept it if his (future)girlfriend really went out to sleep with another man. He admitted that it was an ego thing. So, problem solved. Don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t like to be done onto you. Society is still not ready for this concept on a whole. My guy friend here is quite the open minded type so he can be used as a bench mark to assess just how far a typical guy can take acknowledged infidelity in a relationship.
My other friend who has thoughts that make me feel agoraphobic, thus I feel close minded next to her at the best of times, has always been a pro-choice type of person. She always believes that a person should be allowed to do whatever he or she likes. So yes, she supports the concept but she didn’t discuss if it’s okay for her to indulge in it herself. From her angle, it was more of acceptance of people who do the open marriage thing and understanding that human beings are not genetically programmed for monogamy.
I’m sure most men are whooping with joy as they agree that men need to sow their seeds as much as they can. It is such a sickening thought. What do you think of men who use that in their defense when they are caught having extramarital affairs?(it’s always sexual.) They argue, sex is a need. It is like food, like water.
According to my guy friend(I’m starting to sound like I have no thoughts of my own), it is because of governments and religions that made sex into this terrible sin. All they wanted to do was to to curb sexually transmitted disease and prevent incests. Otherwise, having sex could very well be as normal as holding hands out in public. Oh yes, I have a point to add, unwanted babies is a terrible thing! <– like it is the biggest revelation of the century! lol
I also can’t stand the ultimate bastard of a defense line that assholes use, “But it’s just sex.” Not gonna go on about why that is wrong as I’m only going to end up sounding like a broken recorder. Why, because men and women function differently? When feelings get hurt, is it still justified??
As for me, when I think about sharing my husband/lover with another woman for even a second, I feel this hollow feeling at the bottom of my stomach. It is as if the gate to all my insecurities has been flung open and they’ve all come out to torment me. In other words, I’d be pretty damned upset.
Sure, some people would like to think that they are adventurous and fun and are the type who would say, “I’d definitely go for swinger parties!” It’s so typical of guys to say things like, “I’d LOVE to have a threesome.” Okay, no problem. Two men, one girl. SEE HOW UNFAIR IT IS? Threesomes are NEVER about two men and one girl. At least that’s not what most guys have in mind as they give that horny smile while suggesting such a thing.
Then my girl friend said, “Unless it’s a foursome!” I ayed to that. Unless the guy has issues of his own, do you think a straight man would be able to romp around in bed with another man who is moving just as much as him? In all that movement, surely something is gonna touch something or drag along something! While in the midst of grabbing heads to kiss (eh, I’m very innocent. All the porn I get is from those naughty American coming-to-age movies.), do you pause for a moment to check if it’s a man or a woman that you’re going to press your lips up against? >.< I don’t even wanna think what happens when you stick your tongue out to whatever is nearest with your eyes half closed as you ascend to an orgasmic climax. In all that testosterone driven lust, you’re not going to be able to think with your head!(quota system wtf) Also, if you’re still going to go ahead with a foursome, make sure that the person is not a friend to begin with. Not only girls can laugh at the size of penises. But prove me wrong! (I’m always up for a good scandalous story!)
But what do i know..I’ve only held hands so far. *sigh*
Since in my next few posts, I wanted to post these pictures up, I might as well get it over and done with in case the lot of you start assuming that my brain needs a good scrubbing with industrial strength bleach.
Here are some pictures of my hamsters mating. Very graphic, by the way.
The white one is the male. They are conjoined in such a strange manner. Somemore the white one like naik high already, see the eyes!
Just to be sure.
Not a virgin no more.
Who wants hamster babies? 😀 Place your orders!