Last Friday, I was with two friends(I only have five friends in Subang whom I can call and expect them to come out within 5 minutes at anytime of the week, so no prizes for guessing who) at Sunway Pyramid, outside that new bar connected to Italiannies. The poor Kedah girl doesn’t know her bar names.
Since this is a potentially sensitive issue, I’m not going to tell you who said what, but rather the gist of it, over Strawberry Margueritas, some lime drink and my yucky China/Beijing/Shanghai Lantern(whateverr, it sucked), we started talking about the open marriage concept.
It’s a concept so it doesn’t actually mean marriage per se. Rather the willingness to grant your partner the freedom, so to speak, to fornicate with someone else other than yourself. So the big question, would you allow your boyfriend/girlfriend to sleep with someone else if you were allowed to do the same? Can you stomach it?
Would you be able to handle the knowledge of your other half romping around in bed with someone else and be expected to remain calm as you welcome him(easier to use one gender) home with open arms at the end of the night? (or the following morning, hoho)
We also talked about how long suffering wives just turn a blind eye to their unfaithful husbands’ misdeeds because they see it as a need of men. Without a husband, they would not have a roof over their heads, no food on their table and the children need ‘a stable environment to grow up in’. A few years ago I might have launched into a full blown rant about chopping penises but I do see a slight teeny-bit of rationale in the turning-a-blind-eye thing now. You still need to sit down and weigh the consequences. Is it an emotional betrayal? Is he being a man? But deep down, I am still sharpening that parang for unforeseen circumstances.
My guy friend, in his contribution to the topic, mentioned that he would be okay with this whole sleeping with other people thing, but at the same time, he wouldn’t be able to accept it if his (future)girlfriend really went out to sleep with another man. He admitted that it was an ego thing. So, problem solved. Don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t like to be done onto you. Society is still not ready for this concept on a whole. My guy friend here is quite the open minded type so he can be used as a bench mark to assess just how far a typical guy can take acknowledged infidelity in a relationship.
My other friend who has thoughts that make me feel agoraphobic, thus I feel close minded next to her at the best of times, has always been a pro-choice type of person. She always believes that a person should be allowed to do whatever he or she likes. So yes, she supports the concept but she didn’t discuss if it’s okay for her to indulge in it herself. From her angle, it was more of acceptance of people who do the open marriage thing and understanding that human beings are not genetically programmed for monogamy.
I’m sure most men are whooping with joy as they agree that men need to sow their seeds as much as they can. It is such a sickening thought. What do you think of men who use that in their defense when they are caught having extramarital affairs?(it’s always sexual.) They argue, sex is a need. It is like food, like water.
According to my guy friend(I’m starting to sound like I have no thoughts of my own), it is because of governments and religions that made sex into this terrible sin. All they wanted to do was to to curb sexually transmitted disease and prevent incests. Otherwise, having sex could very well be as normal as holding hands out in public. Oh yes, I have a point to add, unwanted babies is a terrible thing! <– like it is the biggest revelation of the century! lol
I also can’t stand the ultimate bastard of a defense line that assholes use, “But it’s just sex.” Not gonna go on about why that is wrong as I’m only going to end up sounding like a broken recorder. Why, because men and women function differently? When feelings get hurt, is it still justified??
As for me, when I think about sharing my husband/lover with another woman for even a second, I feel this hollow feeling at the bottom of my stomach. It is as if the gate to all my insecurities has been flung open and they’ve all come out to torment me. In other words, I’d be pretty damned upset.
Sure, some people would like to think that they are adventurous and fun and are the type who would say, “I’d definitely go for swinger parties!” It’s so typical of guys to say things like, “I’d LOVE to have a threesome.” Okay, no problem. Two men, one girl. SEE HOW UNFAIR IT IS? Threesomes are NEVER about two men and one girl. At least that’s not what most guys have in mind as they give that horny smile while suggesting such a thing.
Then my girl friend said, “Unless it’s a foursome!” I ayed to that. Unless the guy has issues of his own, do you think a straight man would be able to romp around in bed with another man who is moving just as much as him? In all that movement, surely something is gonna touch something or drag along something! While in the midst of grabbing heads to kiss (eh, I’m very innocent. All the porn I get is from those naughty American coming-to-age movies.), do you pause for a moment to check if it’s a man or a woman that you’re going to press your lips up against? >.< I don’t even wanna think what happens when you stick your tongue out to whatever is nearest with your eyes half closed as you ascend to an orgasmic climax. In all that testosterone driven lust, you’re not going to be able to think with your head!(quota system wtf) Also, if you’re still going to go ahead with a foursome, make sure that the person is not a friend to begin with. Not only girls can laugh at the size of penises. But prove me wrong! (I’m always up for a good scandalous story!)
But what do i know..I’ve only held hands so far. *sigh*
Since in my next few posts, I wanted to post these pictures up, I might as well get it over and done with in case the lot of you start assuming that my brain needs a good scrubbing with industrial strength bleach.
Here are some pictures of my hamsters mating. Very graphic, by the way.
The white one is the male. They are conjoined in such a strange manner. Somemore the white one like naik high already, see the eyes!
Just to be sure.
Not a virgin no more.
Who wants hamster babies? 😀 Place your orders!
15 thoughts on “Can You Allow Polygamy?”
I wonder… did you pull them apart while they’re doing the nasty? If you did… tsk tsk. Them poor hamsters, no privacy. Nevertheless, very entertaining =P
jo: lol! in my defense.. they went straight back into doing the nasty after i put them back into the storage.
I’m a one woman man. Though at the same time I’m a hopeless womanising flirt. It isn’t that bad though. It works out for me because at the end of the day, I know who to go back to and for all the women I flirt around with, she has no problems accepting that part of me because we both know better.
It’s that kind of trust that works between relationships.
What’s wrong with threesomes with two men and one girl anyway? And the hamster p0rn! Gaaaah!! My eyes!! My innocent eyes!!
jo: your girlfriend is one cool girl though:) good for you! lollol… those only exist in porn. but it’s usually the case, two gurls one guy. two holes. two dicks. ho-hum. hahahahahha that bad meh
Goodness, you skipped the normal boy-girl stuff and jumped into producing animal porn!
At the risk of revealing myself to be potentially at odds with the majority of the male population (judging from your words above)…
I cannot understand how one can make love with another person bearing the knowledge that the spouse/ lover is still alive and erm… waiting at home (so cliched!).
Perhaps sex and making love are two separate things to some eyes, and two sides of the same coin to other eyes.
Oh, and if you need a super-sharp penis cutting knife, my knife sharpening services are available (when we both happen to be in the Klang Valley at the same time lah).
jo: lol i move fast don’t i.
if only all men were like you then the world will be a far happier place!
hahahaha i’ll audition you when i meet up with u this june.
you know that line that says, “he can go out and flirt as much as he likes, but at the end of the day, i’m the one he comes back to.”?
it applies yknow. but ‘flirting’ in this sense is totally non-touching, non-sexual.
bah i’m over my head. exam stress getting to me.
you know what kind of woman i am and what kind of man i need anyway, jo. 🙂
jo: ahh..that’s true. flirting….is fine…. i mean don’t so melebih lah! like really lead the person on when you have your own obligations as well. But sex and flirting are two separate entities.
🙂 will keep a lookout for you, babes.
hamster pron! hamster pron!! 🙂
jo: be brave! hamster porn!! say it loud and proud! HAMSTER PORN!
EH VIDEO LAH NEXT TIME!!!!!!
jo: wahhaha i got leh but lazy to upload.
your agouti winter white looks too young for breeding purpose. =(
jo: wahh..hamster expert ar?:P
Is that blood all over ur hamster’s thingy? omigod!
Guy’s are just hopeless lah. How can you use ‘it’s just sex’ as an excuse. Everyone has a brain and should know how to use it. That’s what makes us different from animals. I mean some girls say ‘it’s just sex’ too. So I think it’s just an excuse, and that society has accepted the male saying it more than the woman because we’re all dumb and pro-man since the beginning of time. And I guess we have more emotions and think about stuff more. O_O I’m with you, I can’t stomach the thought of my own with another woman for even just a second..makes me wanna puke up my stomach contents.
jo: it’s a pusseh! yeahh….the words ‘it’s just sex’ really pisses me off. argh argh. haih… us naive women. =(
On one hand, it is perhaps the idea of evolution that we men end up thinking that we need to fuck the next thing that walks in a skirt and has real boobs and a vagina but still, I think there is something about sex that either Guy or Girl would be reluctant to let the other have if its not with him/her. Poor sentence structure, I know but try and bear with me.
In the animal kingdom, animals can be polygamous and with good reason. They NEED to spread their seed. After all, the basis of biology is to be able to survive and produce viable offspring. Isn’t that how it works?
But for humans, unless we are going to be hit by a comet in the next two hours and by this event, 90% of the world’s population was going to be wiped out accordingly, I highly doubt seeing the need for desperate copulation to happen.
And humans are a different species entirely. There is this consciousness, this…thought, this idea of possession and concept of sexuality that we’re either heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and the like. You don’t see your male hamster trying to get it on with another male companion do you? (God forbid, that WOULD be interesting to see, though.) But animals? Nah, only one thing goes for them, really, if you think about it. Whatever’s natural for them. Male + female = kids. Because the idea of homosexuality is entirely rubbish, since no offspring is produced. Why bother for all that hard work when you don’t get anything in the end, eh?
But still, I think that polygamy is rather risky, especially for human beings. Yes, I agree somewhat with Tan Yee Wei here that sex and making love can be two different things. Making love = sex minus the intimacy? The closeness that two loving people feel when bonding in the closest way they possibly can? While sex can just be sex. End of story. Nothing more than that.
Ultmately, it really depends on how open you are. Yes, be pro-choice, no doubt, but if sex is the closest physical way to connect to someone, then it all boils down to whether you feel okay with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner having that very same connection with a total stranger.
Long comment. *phew*
jo: lol long comment, interesting nonetheless. i like your thoughts on how it’s like ‘for what?’ when two males mate. 🙂 nice take. yeah at the end of the day it’s all up to you as a person, what you can stomach.
i dont believe in the flirt but who he comes-back-to thing.. EVERY flirt has gotta do with a desire, and most likely, a sexual one. Would you flirt with an old ah ma? no right?
when men is horny and full of lust, they let their dick do the thinking, as most men can’t multitask, so they gotta shut down one part and let the other pain work.
poet said, “In the animal kingdom, animals can be polygamous and with good reason. They NEED to spread their seed” well yeah, it’s wrong for human to go spreading their seed. What’s the difference? God gav us brains instead. Minus the brain = animals.
how much is ur non-sex exposed yet hamster?
jo: lol well i think it would be called ‘sweet talk’ when you flirt with an old Ah Ma. 😛 LOL LOL the inability to multitask..that is so true! so strange how women are able to do it, and men just can’t right?:D 😀 😀
don’t know leh.. depends on market rates wtf! haha
haha i think polygamy and open marriage are two different things—but at the end of the day it might be just semantics!
aiyo, the deflowering of a hamster online. cringe.
i think the problem here *waves hands around expressively to encapsulate everything* is the reductionist mindset. clearly there are more to men than just a penis, and more to women than a gaping hole to be filled. humans are most def more than the sum of their sex–and i say sex, because sex is biological while gender (the notions of ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’ are socially constructed).
it’s both cruel and unfair to argue that it’s all about sex, because we are all complex beings with agency and choices–so yeah while choice is a great thing to have, great care must also be given in open relationships to the necessary things like protection (because it’s not a gang-bang-free-for-all) and personal issues.
why i’m saying this is because i believe we’ve all been conditioned to think that we can ‘own’ another person and that a happy marriage/relationship/partnership = monogomousness. but what about thoughts? couldn’t you also be unfaithful to someone mentally by fantasising about someone else? and true while there is the action/wishful thinking divide, you never really do know, do you?
also, i think the double-standards in sex and relationships all come down to the damned patriarchal structure of society! this, i believe, is the fault of SOME men who felt their own virtues meant they should and can control society, and SOME women who perpetuate this myth because they view themselves as weak, stupid, etc. so things are not set in stone, really, we just think they are.
jo: 😀 well said as always..
WOohoo~!! I can finally read you again! Stupid wireless system categorized your blog under Games and refused to let me in. Good thing my friend found a usable proxy-blocking page. Wakaka~
Eh, am booking for the hamster la.
On a more serious note, I refuse to let my man (when I have one) have sex with another person besides me, be it male or female, even if he gives me the green like to do anything I want. If there is a need to be fulfilled, I’m just gonna go back to him and let him satisfy me. I really don’t see the need to go to other people.
jo: haaa.. how did my blog get under games? ahahaha……..okok…you sure..?
wahhh…if a boyfriend goes have sex with another male, that one i’ll really kill myself. I would be like, “I’VE FAILED AS A WOMAN..THIS IS SO FUCKING HUMILIATING…!!” 🙂 true that. lest of a slut one would feel.
wahh..why never video! hahaha really hamster porn! nyehnyeh
jo: got videooo.. lazy to upload!
Would you give your hamster babies to someone who has snakes? Would you care what happens to them after selling/giving them away? Just a thought. As for open marriages, I can’t comment as I have no experience. We could all say that it’s unacceptable, but when you’re actually in that situation, who knows? One might worry that if they didn’t stand for such a thing and they left…they might not find another replacement. Worry about being an old maid, time running out, etc.
Which kinda makes me a little glad that I am single. No need to worry about it! *grin*
jo: ERMMm.. obviously i hope that they’ll be well taken care of.. but what can i do right? yayayaya exactly….. some of us don’t have all the luck in getting a rebound guy too soon. but of course, as women, we must also not put up with bullshit..like when our dignity goes way beyond 50%…..we’ll walk out the door.
It must be really painful to forcefully expand that hole. Haha.
Animal porn / Wild sex on Discovery Channel Jayelleenelial.com.
jo: hahahha… er… wellll….those holes were made for sexing!