A few months ago, my friend met a 30 year old guy at a library and she thought he was nice, so they became friends.
Like any other girl, she could sense that the guy showed some interest and kept him in her reservoir of available guys. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a player at all. No noÂ no. *shakes head profusely* She’s just keen to make new friends as she is single too and would like to see what is out there for her.
They’ve been smsing and Facebooking each other for a few months before they decided to meet up. She already broke a He’s Just Not That Into You rule. Apparently, dating via social networking sites is the new booty call.
So. ANYWAY, they made plans to go out for lunch and she mentioned that she would bring her sister along. The guy was like, “Aww, can I hang out with only you?” So she thought, “okayyyy…. so this is a date. Alright, keep cool. This is fine. Totally normal.”
It was only very close to the day of the date when they finalized their plans. Perhaps, it was another sign that He Was Just Not That Into Her. But Malaysian men can be great procrastinators so we’ll leave it at that.
She got a call from him first thing in the morning regarding their date. He said, “I got no car today lah..can you fetch me?”
If you’re her boyfriend, of course it’s okay for her to fetch me. But for god’s sake, this is a first date. You don’t freaking ask a girl to fetch you?
But my friend is a cool girl. She gave him the benefit of the doubt and said, “Okay….can you give me your address?”
He was very vague about it and didn’t really tell her how to get to his place. I mean if you’re a man, you won’t ask a girl you’ve only seen once to come and fetch you. You’ll take the bus, a taxi or even the LRT! And this is not like some high school boy who still depends on his mummy to fetch him around you know.
She was a little impatient and annoyed already and so she arranged for them to meet at the mall near his place. She even asked her sister and best friend to come along for lunch.
Through her texts with him, he said, “So today you’re buying lunch hor!”
For no reason. No freaking reason AT ALL.
Remember. This is a 30 year old man. With a managerial position at a famous company. At this point he pretty much sounds like a conman. A 30 year old man who asks a girl to fetch him on the first date and then tells the girl that she’s paying for lunch.
I asked her, “He’s joking, right?”
“No!! He was serious about it!”
I have no qualms about paying for my boyfriend because some other time, he would be paying for me. Sort of a give and take. But as a guy, if you want to start a relationship, you should start to roll the freaking ball. Settle the first bill of the first meal that you have together, because she will be indebted to you for a loong loong time. Of course she has the choice whether to see you for a second time or not lah.
So when they met up, he said, “Since you are buying lunch today, why don’t you choose the place?”
Wow… what a gentleman.
Pissed off, she simply suggested a hawker area near her friend’s place. At this point she, her sister and her friend were already weirded out by the guy, like why is he asking her to pay for lunch on a first date.
She doesn’t mind going dutch, especially since this is a first date. Plus, they don’t even know each other that well.
The guy was not embarrassed at all to constantly remind her that she would be paying for lunch. He proceeded to order quite a big lunch – like a few dishes of stuff.
When the bill came, you know what the asshole did?
He motioned to the waiter that she would be settling the bill.
Immediately, her sister and her friend shot out with loose change of their own. He was puzzled, “Eh? She’s paying what.”
Her friend shot back, “Oh, I sayang her wallet ma.”
He then looked curiously at the bill, like very kancheong like that. Then, this guy, this 30 year old guy who has a managerial position at a famous company, this 30 year old guy who is on a first date with a girl many many years younger than him, takes out JUST enough for his own portion of the bill.
WHEN YOU’RE FREAKING WORKING FOR SO MANY YEARS AND HAVING A MEAL WITH A GIRL (EVEN IF HER FRIENDS ARE AROUND) THAT YOU’RE INTERESTED IN, YOU FREAKING PAY. GET IT?
I mean it’s not too bad if you decide to go dutch. We’d still raise our eyebrows but we won’t make an issue out of it. But to keep reminding the girl that she would be paying for lunch AND then backing out on his intentions, only to fork out his share of the bill… wah lao. Really cibai la this fella.
My friend vowed never to see him again. EVER.
Gender equality and all that jazz is important but ONLY more so in the workforce. When you’re 30 and working and dating a student, BLOODY PAY LAH. IT’S HAWKER FOOD FOR FUCK’S SAKE.