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Of The Bastardest Types Of Men

Posted on March 26, 2006 by Jolene

Men are all bastards. Or so the broken hearted women usually scream.

No no, don’t worry, this has nothing to do with me in recent times. Just stories I’ve heard of other people’s boyfriends or potential boyfriends. I’m sure you have those moments too where you feel like strangling those men even though you don’t know them.

However, let’s not go dropping names because I just want to let you know bastardfying men can be. Their identities are not important.

Let’s see if these stories piss you off:

1. Girl has period cramps. Girl asks boyfriend to go to the shops to buy her some pads. Boy attempts to go to shop. Girl finds boy sitting in a corner at home crying his eyes out. Boy shouts and slaps his head, “I’M OF NO USE!!! I AM SO LOUSY!!! I CAN’T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO BUY YOU A SANITARY PAD!!”….needless to say they didn’t last long.

2. Girl and boy dated for three years over. Boy and girl works part time in shopping complex together but in different shops. Boy falls for little girl who’s 4 years younger. Girl finds out. Girl punches guy.

3. Girl met boy in university. Girl wanted to do dentistry. Boy wanted to marry her. Boy asked her to do a course which would take a shorter time. Girl married boy. Couple of years later, boy has affair and asks girl to leave the house. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Girl chats happily with friend in class as boy hovers over protectively. Boy feels neglected. Boy scribbles the chinese character for “patience” on the table and slams the table and walks out the class.

5. Girl wears short skirt. Girl was asked by the lecturer to go to the front to do some explanation. Boy gets pissed at girl for the entire day and said that he doesn’t want to see her. Just because her skirt was too short.

6. Boy puts pictures of himself and various girls in his friendster photos. But none of him and his then girlfriend.

7. Boy tells girl that he is falling in love with her. Girl very clever. Girl sent him a love quiz, the type that sends back the details that the recipient keyed in. Girl finds out that boy likes two other girls when asked to list out three girls whom he likes. If that didn’t suck, girl was listed as number three. Fucker.

8. Boy forbids girl to go clubbing. One word is sufficient: Fucktard.

9. Girl goes to another country for studies after going steady with boy for awhile. Boy has dota nickname with girl’s name in it. But boy has another girl hanging with him at the cybercafe almost every other day.

10. Girl has huge crush on boy. Boy thinks unkindly thoughts of the girl. Boy bullies girl. Girl cries. Boy throws 20 cents at her and asks her to buy tissue.

11. Boy and girl not in relationship but goes back to hometown together. Transport to hometown reaches destination very late at night. Girl asks boy where is the nearest LRT station. Boy said he doesn’t know. Boy’s father came to pick him up. Boy says Byebye to girl and leaves girl to walk for more than two kilometres in search of an LRT station at about 10pm all alone. Least boy could’ve done was offer the girl a ride to the nearest station.

What constitutes a bastardious(is that even a word?) man?
A man without an ambition. < ---THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT A man without determination. A man without a backbone. A man who relies on a woman financially. (unless the husband has to be at home to take care of the kids, that's fine. But this will never happen in my life. I'll make sure of that.) A man who allows a woman to pay. A flirtatious taken man. (should really stop giving your girlfriend high bloog pressure). A man who is a serial dater. An interval of anything less than a month and a half and you're officially a bastard. A man who pouts about the absence of sex. Dump him straight away, girls. It is no different from rape. A man who controls his woman. Fuck awayyy... An emotional man. By this I mean men who are sensitive, cries easily and needs to be assured that they are constantly loved. You were born with a dick, not a pussy. And of course, ANY man who lays even a FINGER on his woman, should be rammed over and over again by a big ass lorry. If man is still twitching, just reverse the damn lorry. Repeat until man is motionless. But I have to give credit to men...because it actually took me quite awhile to think about these stories that I've heard. It goes to show that a vast majority of men that I know are quite fine gentlemen. 🙂 All is not lost in the world.

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