This post goes outÂ to my boyfriend and his friends in Singapore(Kai-Lin, Chun Leen, Britney,Â Fui Chin, Eng Hooi, Leong Hui, JonÂ etc..who also became my friends at one point or another).
I was reading Kai-Lin’s blog today and she mentioned,
“It’s a strange time for us at NTU.
It’s past the exciting phase of moving in, of meeting new people, of being amazed by how time just whizzes by.
It’s past the period of bonding, of settling in, of getting comfortable.
It’s now time for uncertainty, for doubt, for questioning the wisdom of our choices.
And many are already sure they made the wrong choice.”
Who hasn’t been there? Who hasn’t wondered if the choice they made was the right one or not? My boyfriend and a large number of his friends are recipients of the Asean scholarship. A scholarship most Malaysian parents are clamouring for their children to get.(my Aunty has already put my 15 year old cousin’s name down for junior college application).
Sometimes they take the scholarship and grudgingly accept what they have been offered and sometimes they are lucky to get a scholarship for the courses of their choice. Quite like Malaysia’s STPM system. But alot of these recipients accept courses that they have never set their eyes upon on the grounds that it is a scholarship. My own boyfriend was almost deterred from his pathway to a career in pharmacy(he was still in IMU)Â when he was offered a scholarship to do Biological Science at NTU.Â If NUS didn’t give him the scholarship for his current course(pharmacy), he would have taken up on NTU’S offer and I predict stay on in Singapore as job prospects for something along the lines of biological science in Malaysia doesn’t seem to yield many job opportunities as of now.
But when things fall into place, it fell into place for him like a jigsaw puzzle. He left IMU and got into NUS. He then received the Asean scholarship to do the course there.
The both of us, when we were initially dating, we made plans to go to NUS together. I wanted to do dentistry very badly there but 4A’s in A levels was just tooÂ impossible a task for me. How nice would it be to be in the same university as my boyfriend? He’d do pharmacy there, and I’d do dentistry there and we’d take it from there after we graduate. 😉
He has been enjoying himself thus far in NUS. He is very happy with hostel life and participates in all the hall activities that NUS is oh so popular for.
You wanna know what?
I am jealous.
I am jealous because university life for him in Singapore is so fun. I am jealous because he and his friends have all these activities that have been established long ago which now serve as traditions that they must follow.
But I know that they are tired like hell and they sometimes complain about the rushing Singaporean lifestyle.
Another excerpt from Kai-Lin’s post that triggered these thoughts of mine:
“I read Tits’ entry. And I start to remember. I have every reason to hate Singapore. To hate this scholarship.”
Maybe because I’m not there to experience first hand what you guys are going through but as far as I can see, be happy that you have a large variety of friends there. Be happy that there are cheerleading teams for you to join, dance clubs for you to join, radio shows for you to partake in, drama classes for you to attend and late night yamchas with friends from all around. Be happy that these activities bring friends for you.
That’s what I want here in kedah.
I want more friends.
I want a life.
I want activities.
I have no time to spare(dentistry is damn busy-fying), but I want to have a larger circle of friends. I only have 36 friends here in AIMST(my class is made up of 37 people)Â whom I can truly be myself with and at least less thanÂ 20 other Hi-Bye friends. It’s pathetic to be able to count your friends.
I miss the days when I was back in Subang Jaya and had all sorts of activities. Mutual friends on top of mutual friends. Friends from societies and friends from yesteryears.
I miss the days I had so many close friends wherever I went.
Long ago, everyday was an opportunity to make new friends. To meet new people.
That’s the only reason I’d give my freedom up for. And by freedom I mean being able to rent a place outside of university and the three necessities: Aircon + streamyx + washing machine.
My university is relatively new and few societies are established.
The most happening society in my uni is most probably the christian fellowship society. All sorts of nice people are among their members. The only thing that stands between me and joining the society is this whole christianity thing. Which brings us back to square one.
The lot of you have all the nice places to go to in Singapore. You can dress up to the nines when you go out, go to the coolest clubs, feel belonged in more ways than one.
You won’t want to trade places with me. But I surely want to trade places with anyone of you.
I remember sitting withÂ all ofÂ youÂ at that quaint cafe along Orchard when I last visited and met some of you for the first time. The time when Fui Chin drew eyes on Chun Leen’s smiley faced pig nosed nipple. I heard you talk about the orientations you have in your university. I see the way you’re so familiar with the routes in Singapore. Which MRT to take, where’s the best place to eat, walking around and around and just LIVING, you know?
I walk down my stairs in the morning, climb in Lie Yuen’s car, reach university, climb up two flights of stairs, sit in a classroom for a few hours, walk down the stairs, go to the same coffeeshop I go to every other day, climb back in Lie Yuen’s car, go back up my stairs and sit in front of my table to go online/study,then climb into my bed at the end of the day.
That’s all that I do here in Kedah. That’s all.
I know the going might get tough. But it happens for everybody.
At least be thankful for the environment that you’re getting nurtured in. It’s not something everybody gets. If the course that you’re in is really unbearable, sit back and take a look at your long term goals. Will this course get you there? Is it enough to give you what you want in life?
*hugs* to you poor suffering kids down south. But make the best of it. 🙂 Keep your chin up.
I wish I was there though. I wish I had the chance to come to study in Singapore and mingle with wonderful people like the lot of you.
I love the people here in Kedah, but I sometimes wish for a bigger variety ..of well, what university life can offer me.
—editted at 5.59pm 10/11/2006—
After a talk with Lie Yuen about my latest entry, she thought that Kai Lin et all would terasa from my entry. I hope to let you guys know that I’m not trying to go all uppity with my tone and say “eh, be grateful”Â because I’m not. I was just inspired by Kai-Lin’s entry and what I felt was sympathy because it’s tough to not know if you’re happy.
What I’m trying to say here is how I wish I was in Singapore too, living a more happening life. That kinda thing.
So no hard feelings, k? 🙂