I’ve a question.
What would you do if your boyfriend hung out with a girl you hated?
This question was in my head and I’m curious to get some feedback from the lot of you.
(Don’t worry dear, this has nothing to do with us:P)
I cannot stand people who stick to other people’s girlfriend/boyfriend like a leech.
It’s like, the person is already attached. So please respect the person’s other half and maintain a little bit of space. No more excessive personal favours(“Can you please buy a packet of sanitary pad for me when you’re out?”), no more ferrying you around like YOU’RE the girlfriend(or boyfriend), no more acting like you’re the closest thing to her when her boyfriend is standing behind you seething in anger.
Of course this applies to guys who are too close to attached girls and vice versa.
But that’s just a little rant. Which is in line to the topic of the question that I’m about to ask.
There will be a few different situations when it comes to the topic of your other half hanging out with a person of your own sex that you hate.
But I’ll be using females in this context because the female vengeance is stronger than anything in this world. So I can so totally relate to that. 😛
Right. We’ll be leaving out ex-girlfriends and romantic interests okay? That means the boyfriend is not cheating on you, this battle is just between you and his female friend. That you hate. It’ll be a whole different story if it revolves around a girl that you like. Because then you’ll trust the girl AND your boyfriend.
There will be the girl that you hate from rumours and gossips and maybe some personal experiences and she happens to be your boyfriend’s classmate/mutual friend’s friend etc. They are on good terms and occasionally meet up. As friends.
What would you do?
There is the girl that your boyfriend has known for years but you can never get around to liking her. They still occasionally hang out and meet up for lunch. Purely as friends.
What would you do?
There is the girl that you hate that likes your boyfriend(but he doesn’t feel the same way. For fear of his precious life and because he loves you very much.) They meet up on friendly terms. Just as friends. Many many many times.
What would you do?
(I know I’d scratch her eyeballs out and tattoo, “Stay away, bitch!!” on her bum. I’d probably end up in jail. But it would be so worth it.)
There is the girl that you’ve liked but recently started hating because of something she did to you. She was good friends with your boyfriend before. They hang out. As friends.
What would you do?
Alright, I’ve changed my mind. I’d like to hear angry rants about horrible exes. Always up for juicy gossips. *rubs palms in glee*
Guys, if you feel like you’d like to have a say, substitute the appropriate genders into the questions. Or you can also defend your kind. 😛
Before you all jump to conclusions, these are really NOT personal experiences. Just what I’ve heard and seen and ..er.. created in the realms of my exam-pressured mind.
Edited at 5am: Of course we have to trust our other halves to make a relationship work. But I’m not talking about whether the girl will steal your boyfriend away. I believe “trust” and purely “just don’t like!!” are two different entities. You just don’t want the girl that you hate(and there are many levels to this) to be in the company of your boyfriend.
*taps head* Mm, maybe I don’t make sense. But I hope some of you can comprehend that it’s not about trust. More about that “UGhhhhhhh….” feeling. The feeling that you want to pound something with your fists when you can’t stand a particular person.
25 thoughts on “What Would You Do?”
oh dear…. the scenario u mentioned… =( sounds so much like the relationship i experienced. And at the end… we broke up few days ago bcos he betrayed me in the end. I refused to have sex with him, and for this reason, he went after another girl. A 17-yr old girl who had an abortion b4.
Oh by the way, and i still hate the girl that like to stick to my bf (ex-bf already now) bcos she goes around bitching about me and ruining my reputation.
jo: my goodness…. don’t worry dear, he will get STDs.
and we will all hate the girls that we’ve always hated.:) You’re not alone.
Time to stand up for my kind…
It all depends lah.
On a lot of things. The guy. His gf. If they communicate well. If she understands the history he has with .
Sometimes us guys haven’t a clue if/when you’re pissed at us for hanging out with the opposite sex. It may be very well be a platonic relationship with said girl well before you came into the picture. This is the time when a good hard knock on our head helps.
But to be fair, the g/f has a right to be not amused.
Herd the couple in a room, lock the door and let them sort things out. Gotta lay all cards on the table for any r/ship to work!
jo:hahha well said:D coz some platonic relationships are memang nothing one lah. but you just want to maintain a distance so u’ll appear like you’re the closest:P well, of course we can all have friends and our own space. but i’m saying like how a girl-friend cannot be CLOSER to the boy than his own girlfriend.
There are two things called faith and trust that both parties must have for one another.
but if the girl finds out the man strayed, she can always cut off his birdie when he is sleeping wat.
jo: ah, my favourite past time for the real screw-ups of the XY karyotypes.
yes, trust.. but this is not about trust lah..it’s about not liking someone that you don’t like to be in the company of someone(or even things! damnit!) that belongs to you.
I would love to answer the questions but tak mau la, i’m afraid that KK might read it hahahaha. Eh good also. The he will know better than to do things that i don’t like.
errr. how to give u the answers? *still considering whether to answer or not*
jo: lol you can always leave your email only with an anonymous name what..:) So at least i’ll still know it’s u and no one else will. but alah, kwo kuang’s cool, my girlfriends are cool… and also it’ll be educational for me lah just in case i step on ur toes and still want to be friends with kwokuang.;P
well, i think it all goes back to trust. if you trust your boyfriend, you should trust him enough to be alone with her. and if you don’t, there’s something a lot more serious to be worried about that a predatory chick. and if you trust and he breaks it, well at least you know for sure that he’s a prick. sometimes, heartbreak is unavoidable but in time, it always proves to be worth it.
jo: well, it’s more like how i don’t want her(someone that i would hate to the very core) to be in the company of someone that i love very much etc. it’s a very kindergarten approach really. “Don’t friend her coz I don’t want you to friend her!”.. well, of coz friends get to choose who they want to be friends with. but couples are rather irrational at times to each other?:P nolah, of course i won’t be like that lah. coz none of my bf’s friends are hated by me…at least i can’t recall any now.. but anyway… i’m channeling my anger towards something i witnessed. nothing to do with me one. *still fuming*
But yeah, i know. trust. if it breaks, break up.
I think it’s alright if my bf lets me know whenever he’s meeting up with the girl. But then again if he knows that the girl has feelings for him, meeting up should be a no-no because it’ll only lead the other girl the wrong way. But if i really really really can’t stand the girl, I’ll let him know that I am not comfortable about him meeting up with her and let’s see what he can do about it.
Oh, my current bf remains as good friends with most of his ex-es so I really am quite immune to it. I’ve met a few of them and they seem to be quite nice ppl, no bitchy exes yet lol
But all in all, it’s about having trust in each other, I believe if we’re honest about how we feel about things, the other halves will know what to do 🙂
jo: ah, so you’re answering question no. 3;) yeah i know, that’s why must have a word with the bf if such situation arises. if she still insists on hanging out, step in.
Ahh good on you! 🙂 *pats back*
mMmm.. Been a silent reader all these while but I cant help but to answer a particular question.
I’d rub our r/s into her face and be all innocent about it. I’d be like;’OHHH. How are youuuu? You dont have a bf yet? *cuddles with bf*. PDA would be OTT. Words will be nice, too nice.
I bet you, after a few outings, she wont be able to stand it and hanging out will be less. All while you are innocently being ‘in love’. If she still insists on hanging out with him then go la. I mean, there should be trust right? And what’s wrong with a lil bit of fun now and then? =D
Plus, if some other girl still likes your bf after knowing that he has a gf, that means that you have got yourself something good, no? Its like lusting after a perfect LBD; its not in your wardrobe but you still want it.
jo: hehehe hello then! thank you for finally commenting;P
hahahhaa..something i’d do in my fantasies..:D apart from the violent outbursts..:X but nevermind that..haha sure lah kembang but you would still want to do your best to flick off all these unnecessary attention.
it’s always about the other bitch. always.
HAR HAR HAR!
jo: hahaha ya man!!!…and u must sleep ok? *worried*
Can’t resist commenting. Haha…I believe that a person should have some time and space to be with his/her own friends eventhough he/she is dating. If you really hate the girl/guy, tell your partner la. An understanding partner will try to avoid meeting up with the girl/guy alone after that. Trust me, after being pulled in two directions (i.e. friend and gf/bf), the partner will ditch the friend. hahaha…
jo: hahahh good then, u’ve fallen into my trap ;P yeah..of course, if it’s space, i’m a firm believer of that. heck, learning alot about space from LDR. it’s good training! i WILL tell my boyf if i don’t like him hanging out with a certain someone. but so far that hasn’t happened yet lah. i mean try my best to be on good terms with everybody and keep him away from the monsters. well, that’s the hope la ha?:P
Well, if that girl’s a skank, what to do. They’re just friends.
Happened to me, the-ex had some friends that I didn’t like. Buat tak tau aje.
jo: if she’s a skank, i’d sit my boyfriend down and say, “look she’s a skank, please don’t hang out with her so much.”
simple as that. But shouldn’t suffer in silence lorh.. i mean it’s best to be vocal about things. no point bottling it up rite?
there are definitely some people who simply cant learn to mark their boundaries..
it’s not exactly a good thing if she hangs out too much with your bf right??
i mean, she’s someone you HATE.. obviously she would bad-mouth you at whatever opportunity she can get her hands on your man right?
but yea.. you need trust and faith in the bf to make the relationship works..
and am sure if the man is sensitive enough to your needs, he would have marked the borders himself instead of you having to tell him off.. 🙂 correct or not??
jo: hahahhaa oh, i don’t have that kind of enemies yet lah. I’m a very nice person hahahaha.. 🙂 No really, i am. Sorry to those that I’ve pissed off before…and I’ve said my apologies profusely to people i’ve angered before. So from my fingers, I’m counting..there are about two people who hate me to the very core and one’s a girl and the other’s sexuality is abit …vague. but anyway, they don’t know my boyfriend. so i’m safe like that. must lead a purer life from here on. 😛
yeah.. of course i trust him:) Or not I’d be emoing a hell lot. I’ve cut down on my emoing alot too….
yeah.. that’s called “Sek chou” lah. 🙂
so agree with sarah 😉
jo: 🙂 yes…yes…. trust is a strong element.
Hmmm…you know this “other girl that you hate yet not an ex” story is so damn interesting. Haha! Ok, to be honest yes, I have my experience on such person and blarrrdeeehelllll….I tell you…I was backstabing her at every chance I get and the bf had to keep saying that “we are friend, we have this union thingy like you and your bestfriends etc.”. They were seeing each other so often that he knows I’m not happy and LIED that he was going elsewhere but was with her. WTF. I even asked for breakup because of that, well, he was lying while I trusted him. Oh yeah, God knows that he’s wrong because his car’s window got smashed in a club’s parking lot while they were partying and the girl’s bag, ID, mobile phones etc got stolen. Yes, lie some more, you pay for it. Best part of all, she went to his house, into his room which is MY territory while I was away in Aussie and the bf’s sis tells me about it when I get back. But that time they paling muka edi..so I cannot mention her name anymore. Yippeee! The GF always wins!
The other girl who is damn interested in the bf yet knowing I am around, that one..memang muka damn tebal. Up till this day still like that. I’ve told the bf not to talk 2 her already as it is giving her mix signals but they girl, tak faham-faham. *shakes head* Yes, I do backstab her at every chance I get as well. Hehehehe
jo: AT LONG LAST..a comment that i’ve been waiting for. I don’t really wanna involve the boyfriend-love triangle factor..i just wanna know how you will react to the pissed-off-ness that you feel.;P thanks Mei!
Wah i’d freak out man if i didn’t like the girl and she had the tendency to put her ass somewhere my ass sat before.(i’m talking about the car seat mind you. ;P). If it’s just a normal friend then fine. but some person that i’m having a big war with…tak boleh. No way.
hahaha.. but you very tai fong ar….. i’d be rather upset that i was lied to, and another girl was involved. ohmygod, i bet you had a word with ur bf about that?
oh man, yes, i’ve seen this in high school a lot. hehe. 🙂 the little girls especially. they just can’t get over the fact that their love is not being reciprocated. sigh. i remember seeing one little form1 girl crying and pouting longingly behind a curtain while seething in anger looking at two of my friends dating. She was interested in my guy friend, who was a form5 boy then. Haha.
eh dun get me wrong. my msg didnt appear in full. i wonder why. sei la…make me look so stoopid.
wahsey woman this is like form 5 moral, you know the case studies? haha i feel compelled to insert some nilai-nilai murni in here wei.
but hm, in general. i have many friends, some of which i am sure my other friends or bf would not like. what to do? just don’t mix them. be honest, but i don’t expect anyone to stop hanging out with anyone just because of me. i wouldn’t tell the bf what to do, but i’d show displeasure–i hate being told what to do so i don’t wanna be a hypocrite.
exes are complicated. bah. that one, flip the guilt switch as often as possible and make big watery eyes. no need to say anything else 😀 eh eh crying form 1 girl…haha this story sounds damn familiar.
ho hum 🙂
jo: hahaha yahor, didn’t even think about it that way. yeah, i suppose that’s wise ya:) showing displeasure is gold! but no whip and leash la obviously. must be civilized, and loving, and humble, and kind, and gentle..;P
LOL… yeah man. so familiar. LOLOLOL. Friday afternoons were the funnest! We always had long long moments before school started.
Aiyoh… if I were you, the girl who keeps hanging out with my balak whom I happened to hate, well, he would get an earful lah from me. But usually, I would do even worse things – make him choose. Hahahha. It’s either me or her. Or if he wants to go out with her, please do it discretely and please do not let this come to my knowledge or else, world war 3!
jo: hahha aye aye woman! like my friend melody said, displeasure lah;) But no ropes and handcuffs involved lah. I mean we can’t be controlling what. we’d hate that to happen to us. But I would understand if my boyfriend had beef with one of my guy friends. I’d avoid that guy friend to avoid any problems lor.Â
Like I always tell my gf:
“I’m attractive and straight of cause girls will get attracted to me, I can’t help it; you can’t help it.”
All I’m trying to say is we can’t control who likes you.
For the other questions the way a guy would want their gf to react is:
Just be honest with us. You hate that girl say so don’t say “ok dear have fun” and when we do have fun start getting mad at us.
The way I would react:
Ok have fun but I will call you every 20 mins. wakkaakakakakakakak
jo: hahaha yes sir! glad that u got an understanding gf! HAHAH i think ur the kancheong type right if u’ll call every 20 minutes;PÂ hahaha.. nah i’m sure ur just joking.;) and..oh.. HELLO!!! lama tak jumpa!
IMHO, if you hate the girl just because she gets to spend time with the bf (especially since he asked you to be his gf and not her), it just shows that you have low self-esteem. A naggy gf with low self-esteem would not be appealing to any guy.
Besides, why are only girls seen as the ‘enemy’? Guys can be just as terrible. What if bf is closet gay/bi? Something to think about. 😉
jo: no no, not hating the girl BECAUSE she gets to spend time with the guy. hating the girl because of something else, BUT she spends time with your boyfriend. understand the point?
Ah, well, my answer to my own questions(which might help answer some of yours, that ur not asking) would be to tell my boyfriend, “mmm, go lah go lah.” if he knows how much i don’t like it, he won’t. if he knows it’s not much, it’s really not much. now that’s understanding.
Well, my question is supposed to be general mah..that’s why it’s usually girls against girls. something some girl did to step on our toes before.. without a man involved..surely u can understand? .. and if bf is closet gay/bi..then it’s the girl’s problem lor. it’ll be up to her to break off from the relationship or find him being a bi a turn on. was just reading about this in Cleo just now actually.
oh hello.. yup long time no see.. well the last time i saw you was like errr maybe in secondary school? hahahaha
jo: hahah not just secondary school, but FORM4 secondary school:)
Oh, okay. Understood. Sorry, on medication and can’t operate heavy machinery (like brain). Well, if the beef is between you and the girl, and bf has nothing to do with it…why should he bother?
jo: 😛 sorry on my part too for somewhat lashing out like that. nah it’s okay babes! yeah bf shouldn’t bother lah. so my question is “what would u do?” as in to the girl:D was looking forward to some rather creative answers but everybody(except for mei!) had to think it was about a love triangle. haih.
Jo: yeahlah..I was really really pissed and yes abt the girl sitting on the exact seat that I usually sits on, I know is like small story thingy but I have the same reaction with you lor. Yea the bf and I had a LOOOOONNNNGGGG talk abt it and he knew he was wrong and admitted and everything blah blah blah. It took me quite some time to get over this incident but…let me tell u lah….I still hate that girl!!!!
On the highschool girls story, I absolutely agree with you. Common lah, ppl change in time so just put the past behind and not live so miserably.
jo: hahahha cheers babe. yeah very difficult to un-hate a bitchy girl one. been there done that. still doing.
🙂 hahha no wor, this girl didn’t even get to know my friend. kakakka. those small girl secret admirer type;P
I’ve never been in such a situation. First and last relationship was a LDR. So dunnolah if he spent time with other women (platonic or otherwise). So what would I do in such a situation? Nothing. Just grin and bear it, especially if they have been friends for a long time. He obviously sees something in her that’s worthy of his time, even though you don’t. Just remember that he’s the one calling you the gf. If he really liked her more than you, then why didn’t he call her his gf? All this hypothetical, of course. *sniffles* *cough*
jo: take good care of that cough, you. yeah i guess so. grin and bear.Â
Sounds like a situation i’m in. My bf has known this girl way before he knew me. When we got together this girl confessed her feelings to him a few times. Of course my bf turned her down and told me about it. But he still goes out with her occasionally which makes me uneasy (i always think that we should have the freedom to meet our friends). He knows it and has lied to me before (abt who he went out with) and even didn’t tell me that he meets up with her sometimes. It really pisses me off but i can’t call his bluff cause i read his msn history (where i found out a LOT of other awful lies. Like telling people that me and him are just friends). But the situation is better now, he tells me the truth about where he’s going and with who (confirmed true).
I just can’t stand the gal who still confesses to my bf even though she got turned down and knows my bf is already in a relationship!! And also my bf who lies to make the situation better.
jo: sounds like you’ve got quite a problem on your hands. 🙁 try to tell your boyfriend that he doesn’t have to tip toe around you… coz it seems like he’s a little scared. but glad that things are better for you.Â some girls are just so persistent.;(
Well, if were guys were to substitute the genders, no need to think ady, it would be just “hantam” the other guy.
so goin to throw a fit if he hangs out wt a girl i dun like n he noes well about it…it prob sounds a bit unreasonable for me to barge in on hu he hangs out with
i dun lk her means i dun lk her……not gonna pretend lk i dun mind cuz its so fake…!
if he noes tis girl likes him n he has no intention to like her back…den dun hang out wt her…y give her more false hope?
it makes it even harder for her to get over it…(unless she’s alredi got over it den tats diff)
n if once or twice still bearable….but if many many many times…sumtin’s not rite there
anyhow….wateva the situation….i wuldn’t like my guy to be hangin out wt any girls one on one…if its wt a bunch of frens then surely its alrite