My Baby Nephew/Broadway Parodies Lah/A Trip To Marie France Bodyline

What was supposed to be a disciplined night which consisted of one blog entry and then lots of studying nearly reduced me to tears.

Not wanting to fork out hundreds of Ringgit to update my McAfee, I decided to download the antivirus program from torrentspy.com. I left my AVG on to take care of the computer while I was at school. We all know that two antivirus opened simultaneously can give problems to the computer.

I already had a virus lurking in every file on my computer, so I thought if I did a scan, it would be removed. Little did I know, I COULDN’T DELETE THINGS OFF MY COMPUTER. Everything was write protected or some shit like that.

So I did the ultimate nono, I turned my computer off multiply times using the power button. After three or so attempts, I got an error message that said, “NO NSDLR(NLDSR? Whatever fuck) detected. Please press any key to restart.” and upon pressing any of the keys, I got the same message again and again.

Horrified that I couldn’t get into Windows, I started jumping up and down with tears springing to my eyes and I gave a big loud frustrated grunt-moan.(Lie Yuen could feel the floor vibrate by the way. Seriously. Lousy Kedah houses). I called my trusty computer technician whom I affectionately call Ah Loo Sang(Mr. Loo, but in a china prostitute accent. It’s an inside joke between Lie Yuen and I). I was so messed up that I said, “Hello? Ah Loo Sang ar?!” when he picked up the phone. OMG..the embarrassment. I HAD to bring my computer to Mr. Loo or else I’d be climbing the walls due to frustration.

I barged into Lie Yuen’s room and according to her she only heard, “……virus…….. car….Ah Loo Sang….” amidst a very warbled voice. I was almost going to cry. I don’t want my computer to die on me. It’s my only source of entertainment here..;( So my kind housemate loan me her car and I drove off into the night with a dark face.

I stormed into the computer shop and put my laptop on the counter and sat in front of it, fuming. Mr. Loo knew what I was there for but his apprentice didn’t. I must’ve looked damn super angry because the apprentice meekly approached me and said, “Ahh….?” while pointing at the laptop.

But I’m quite happy that they managed to retrieve my important files and reformatted the entire computer for me. AND downloaded new antivirus program into it for me. I must say, having an external hard disk is SO good. I think everybody should use an external hard disk to store your important data.

I’m happier now. 🙂 Bought packet milo to celebrate with Lie Yuen.

I went to see my nephew Ethan last weekend! At 12 days old, he certainly has a wide variety of expressions. Really bummed out that I won’t be back for his full moon party.

The poor baby’s skin is peeling. Apparently babies get that!

Look at the eyes man! SO BIG! Clearly my eyes are recessive genes.

Super chubby cheeks and a stern expression to boot!

So small compared to my head right. Haha. I think he looks abit like my cousin Derek from this angle. And for those who don’t know, no it’s not Derek’s baby. It’s Hong Fei and Kwee Fong’s. Derek is a year younger than me and shouldn’t be having any babies now.

And from this angle he looks my brother.

Ohmigod, this is so typical of people. We immediately associate the baby with the rest of the family and not the side that isn’t related to us. LOL.

I must blog about Broadway Parodies Lah. The lyricist is a bloody genius. We were all in stitches and the cast was damn good too. And of course lah, the musical had Douglas Lim which I why I just HAD to be there.

I begged so hard for Mel, She Dee and Mun Teng to join me on Friday evening but they were abit doubtful and said that they would sleep half way through the play if it’s boring. I invited my brother along because I knew he would get a good laugh out of it.

I didn’t tell the girls that Douglas Lim was in the musical because they would have known of my evil intentions. It being my desire to see Douglas Lim and they were there only to accompany me. Hehe, no of course not. I really wanted my girls to have a good time too!

With a rather small cast, they managed to bring the house down with their antics and songs. Broadway Parodies Lah is a spoof of songs from famous broadway musicals(Oklahoma!, Annie, The Phantom Of The Opera, My Fair Lady, Sound Of Music and there was even one from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!). They changed the lyrics into something more Malaysian. The song that is stuck in my head is Chicken With A Chilli On Top(in the tune of Surrey With The Fringe On The Top) , the one done by Ho Soon Yoon(he has a blog! Can’t believe he is a banker by day and a performer by night. A very talented one too. He’s the guy who played Leong in Broken Bridges. Bloody good voice.)

The pianist.

Another favourite would have to be the Aiyo song. It was in the tune of Hei-ho hei-ho from Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs. The four males in the cast did this number with a really cute dance routine. Douglas Lim had those reading glasses slung low on his nose and he was squinting his eyes throughout.

And when they go “..aiyo, aiyo, aiyo!”, they did a few steps back simultaneously and the move was SO SO SO adorable lah. You just have to see it for yourselves.

Here’s a snippet of the lyrics:

“Aiyo, aiyo, the share price just won’t grow, Three weeks is stuck, don’t have no luck, Aiyo, aiyo, aiyo,
Aiyo, aiyo, When highway traffic slow, Just wind the window down and shout, AIYO AIYO aiyo,
Aiyo, aiyo – Why bonus very low?
This year my balik kampong out! Aiyo, aiyo.

Aiyo, aiyo, -my boss is so bodoh,
He make mistake, but make me take – The blame – must save his name Aiyo, Aiyo,
My children quickly grow,
Want this want that, why so like that, Aiyo, aiyo, aiyo.”

hahahha. Damn good.

Do watch out for this guy called Ivan Choong. Quite hot in that Marina Marina song. Damn funny. At first you were wondering why he was singing about someone named Marina. This was to spoof the Mariah Mariah song from West Side Story. Whatever that is. Thanks Mel for the info. 😛

“Marina….Marinaa…Your father is no longer PM.. his photo hangs in the coffeeshop no more…. Marina Marina…We still love your Papa…” or something along those lines lah.

The girl who sang Christina’s part in The Phantom Of The Opera(changed to The Bomoh Of The Bursa) had a damn powerful voice. Be enthralled!

And another crowd favourite was…I think, Cheryl Tan who played the part of a pampered 18 year old girl who wanted to avoid NS. She was really good. She could sing and maintain all those expressions.. no easy feat. Simply amazing. And to the tune of what, you ask? Hahaha. If you grew up in the 90s, you’d definitely recognise it. Think rain. And think postman. and maybe a peachy-pink dress.

The show ended with Douglas Lim playing a chinapek tour guide bringing a crowd of English tourists up to Genting Highlands. He sang a song about gambling but I can’t remember the lyrics or the tune. The funnnnnnniiiiieessst song HAS to be Bo Doh Lah. (Do Re Mi).

He made the tourists sit in a row and they all held placards each with a syllable. “Bo” “Doh” “Why” “You” “So” “Like” “That” “One” it read. Bwahahha.

I could only remember a fragment of the lyrics.

“Bo – A tea from Cameron High,
Doh – something made into bread,
Why – You say, I so leng chai!
You – five letters away from Z!
So – i can’t remember
Like – nope, can’t remember either.
That – The opposite of this!
One – …….argghh..see, that’s why I want them to come up with a CD.”

Or in my fanmail to Soon Yoon, hopefully they will put up MP3s or videos on their blog.

I think they’ll still be having shows till June 3rd. So hurry up if you wanna go. It’s the type of thing that you might just wanna watch again and again and again.

l-r: Mervyn, Mun Teng, She Dee, Mel and Myself

Since we didn’t have dinner, the rest was really hungry by the end of the show. I really wanted to see Douglas Lim but was damn shy as well. And we were heading so fast towards the elevators, I was nearly going to start crying. They were like, “You want to see him issitttt..” and I just looked very tearful and said, “NOOO.. I shy!” And they got frustrated, “HAIYAH! You sure or not! Let’s go up again!” and I’m like, “NOoooooo!! Let’s just go………………..”..and then two seconds later, I’ll go, “I WANT TO SEE HIM…” and then another two seconds, “Let’s just go home lah..*sniff*”…

Then as fate intended it to be, we lost our way to the elevator…and Mel was like, “Which way ar?” and I pointed at the escalator back to Actor’s Studio and said, “This way!”

Hahaha. They laughed and said, “Ohhhh..so the correct way is to where Douglas Lim is lah!”

hahahah.

It was a bloody deja vu from the Jin tian days. Melody to the rescue again. 8 years ago also like that. Now also like that.

Let’s have a little flashback to a diary entry of mine dated 8 long years ago:

“Dear Diary,

This should be in the headlines of all newspapers in the whole wide world. Jin-Tian and I FINALLY HAD A CONVERSATION!!!

No kidding!! 🙂

See, I went to school today for librarian duty as usual.. Melody said that if I came earlier I would’ve seen Jin-Tian. That’s because he’s taking care of the school gates today and he came to the library to send the newspapers. Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Melody said that he was looking around to see if I’m around.

Well, that’s pretty flattering but not the best thing that had happened to me! 🙂

See, I pestured all the librarians to go down during the form three recess. Melody grabbed my autograph book “incase” we see Jin-Tian. We walked past the canteen and I saw Jin-Tian inside. I think he glanced at me. Melody saw Aaron and asked him to call Jin-Tian to come talk to me.

I was about to run away.

The rest managed to make me stay. Melody told me I had some eye dirt in my eye. Thank God or else I would have died of embarrassment.

Aaron finally managed to call Jin-Tian over. He stood in front of Melanie and the others and he said to them, “Hi….huhhuhhe..” he looked nervous. I just stood there.

Man! I was hysterical! LOL. So was he.

Then Melody asked him, “You chicken ar you?” Then he held out his name tag and said, “Yar wat! Chan Chi Ken,”. I just smiled.

Then he said to me, “So.. always talked to you online only lar..”.. I was SO shy. I just went, “Er..yar.” and then he stuck out his hand and luckily I had the nerve to shake it.

He kept giggling nervously. Then Melody gave him my autograph book and asked him to sign it. She even offered him my whole colour pens collection(I have them in this huge pencil case that I bring around) to choose from. He chose this one: *scribbles colour pen to indicate colour*

Melody and the rest walked away and I was all alone. Just in front of him. He was signing it and when he was done he gave me back my book and thanked me and returned the pen. I smiled sweetly at him.

And then I took off.

Melody and the rest caught up with me and I just mumbled, “Fuck you fuck you fuck you” to Melody.. Hehehe.. then when we were out of the school compound I said, “Thank you thank you thank you thank you…~~!!” 😀

Hehehehe. I was SO in love with that colour pen that he held for the rest of the day. And he shook my hand. OMIGOD! :O

Later, when the morning session ended, I went up to him(With Melody’s help of course) and I asked him to write in the autograph book. Like a real entry. He wasn’t so cute as the first time we talked but he’s still Jin-Tian! Darling ol’ Jin-Tian.

Later, I told the whole world.

I went home and went online and Yuen Fatt told me that he knows I talked to Jin-Tian and he also read the note on the Leo board. He said that it was Vern Yang who told him about it.

Ne wayz, Gotta go.

p/s: My conversation happened around 10.20am-10.30am.

Mel talked to Douglas first. And then he shook Mun Teng’s hand and when he saw me, he gave a laugh and said, “AH! You again!” ahhaha. Oh my god.

After telling him how great he looked in a woman’s lycra top and fishnets and clogs(yes, you must be there to see it), I congratulated him on his wedding. In a very shy manner, still, mind you.

And then he said, “Yes, yes….I’m a married man noww..” hehe.. alah! Hopefully he doesn’t mean it in a way that I should stop stalking him! Or else life won’t be as fun anymore!

Everytime I see him I must take ONE photo!

But that silly form5 girl feelings only bubbles up to the top when I see him at plays.(the rest of my time is devoted to my one and only. Ahem ahem dear don’t emo okay. Hehe). Back in form5, it was mad. When I was sitting for an exam, I’d replay his lines from Homecoming and laugh to myself and then start feeling sad I won’t be able to see him in real life etc.. Duh.

Supper was rather eventful as well. We were joined by Dennis Tan, Barry, Aurey, Yijin, Tze Ching, Eugin and a new friend Rachel.

l-r: Eugin mabuk, Barry and Yijin.

l-r: Dennis and She Dee

l-r: Mel and Audrey

Smuggy solo wor. -_-

L-r: Rachel, Tze Ching, Mun Teng, Me

A nicer one of Mel and Audrey

Dennis and I

Miss Lai says NO SMOKING! Let’s extinguish all the lighters in the world!

And on a more subdued note, I went for my free consultation and treatment at Marie France Bodyline last Saturday. As expected, they pressed me to buy packages and told me that I need to lose 10 kg to look better.(at least now I know for sure).

Apparently I needed 30 treatments…and the total cost of it was RM10k+++. And I was, apparently, very lucky because I had, apparently, a 70% discount, which means that the package would be mine for, apparently, only Rm2470. My father don’t shit gold bar leh. Even if he can shit it also he won’t give me that kind of money lor.

I kept telling the persistent woman that I only came BECAUSE I won the contest in The Star. Or else I would NEVER go to Marie France simply because I’m too poor!

So I was given my free treatment to see if I liked what I was getting myself into. (*still shouting* I only came because I won the free trial..or else I wouldn’t be here!!… haiyoh, why so difficult to understand?)

The machine that gave me comfortable electric zaps. Some zapping fat away thingamajig. Don’t know lah.

You might not be able to see it clearly, but that’s an electrode stuck to my torso.

For the second part of the hour, they slim-wrapped me. It was like medicated bandages, fresh out of the freezer and wrapped around your lower body. And you had to sit in that cubicle(which was airconditioned) for a good half an hour. I have never shivered so much. I was damn cold. The kimono that I was given was starting to soak. Luckily I had my java games to keep me entertained.

I’m sure it’ll be good for me if I had the money and the courage to withstand such low temperatures. But it’s not for me. Give me a swimming pool anyway! I’m joining aerobic classes in Sungai Petani now anyway. Not like it will help much… but oh, at least something right? Ma Sa Leh Leh! (some name the instructor gave to one of the moves. I find it really funny. I felt like a dancing golliwog.

And the kimono’s quite nice. Or is it a bathrobe?

ARGH FINALLY BLOGGED FINISH. What a freaking long post.

Oh wait, before I go to bed, I’ve got some things to share. 🙂

If you’re a student studying abroad(preferably somewhere else that is not Australia/UK or somewhere equally cliche) with a flair for writing , r.Age is looking for you to write for their segment “Stepping Out!” You’ll get paid too! Email me if you’re interested!

While I’m at it, head over to Minishorts’. She’s involved in a project aiming to bring orphans to visit a sanctuary for elephants(and baby elephants! so cute!). Sort of like teaching the orphans how to care for another living being type of program. It’s rather meaningful! Head on over to see how you can help!