What A Fucktard?

Hello Boys and Girls! (Seen that Behind The Scenes Elmo Video on Youtube? LOL)

Jolene is here to bring you another very classic example of the stunningly amazing assholes that are out there in the market of single desperate men. They get a few more slaps on the face for not being single.

I have a friend who started seeing this one boy about two months ago. He had all the credentials that a girl would want. A future professional, clean cut, available and…..somewhat interested. We would persistently hound her for information regarding their progress and no matter how many times they went out, the results were still nil. There was one kiss though and they have been holding hands already. We screamed, “So are you guys together?! Are you? Are you?”

“No, I don’t think so,” she said.

So we left it at that but we kept in mind that they were sort of seeing each other and it was only in a matter of time before they got together for real.

Weeks turned into months and soon we all lost interest, like any nosey gossipy girls.

Suddenly, she had a boyfriend. We were introduced to him in rather dark settings and had to peer at the face properly, “Aiks, not the same guy,” was the look we gave to each other.

She later on told us that the first guy sort of dwindled into oblivion. No messages, not even on her birthday. A guy who is supposedly interested in you should be continuous in his pursuit right? Or else we can just shrug it off as a case of “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

Like a decent self respecting girl, my friend didn’t pursue the matter and concentrated on working on her new relationship with her new guy. It was obvious that she is so much happier with this new guy. No drama, no carrot dangling and no hanging-in-mid-air nonsense from this guy. This is how a man should be. You want a girl, you go get her. You don’t give her hopes and then just play Chipsmore – Now You See Me, Now You Don’t!

As things are going smoothly for my friend and her new beau, just as how fate always gives you that wtf plot twist, she bumped into him at a friend’s do. With a new guy on her arm, it seems like the perfect weapon to counter his previous ignorance right? It worked. A little too well.

He contacted her recently.

“Will you go out for a movie with me? Your boyfriend won’t mind one right?”

He then continued, “I think it’s time for me to go get a girl now..”

I’m happy my friend knew how to be pissed mad, but she was so angry that she didn’t even know what to reply.

WHAT THE HELL IS THE GUY’S PROBLEM? She hung around, waiting for you to make a move and now that she is with someone new, you can’t bear to have your ego boost taken away from you?

He even had the audacity to tell her that the kisses and hand holdings happened because he was tipsy. Then he had to sugar coat his defense by telling her how it wouldn’t be fair for the new girl(her) as he still had feelings for his ex girlfriend even thought the ex girlfriend is a bad bad girl.

To hell with your ex-girlfriend! Who the fuck cares if you have girl issues? You should know very well to clean it up and empty your emotional baggage before pursuing someone new. You don’t mess around with some girl only to say, “Oh, it’s the alcohol, and it’s not fair to you. Thanks for the company!” Actually, he didn’t even say thank you or byebye. He just disappeared.

And now that there’s someone new, he wants to be back in the picture. I think he likes a challenge.

I know that all of this sounds very cliche but it made me so angry that such a guy exists. He even has the cheek to tell her that he wants to go after her now. Honestly! Does it turn you on when you have affairs? Hmm? Can you only get it up when you know that she is forbidden property? Then Mr. Future Professional, there is something very very wrong about your manhood.

ARGHHHHH!!