Of Years Apart And Wanting More

If there was a song about long distance relationships, you can be sure that I would be hooked on it.

It made me think about us.

“Hey There Delilah” – Plain White T’s.

Hey there Delilah
What’s it like in New York City?
I’m a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can’t shine as bright as you
I swear it’s true

Hey there Delilah
Don’t you worry about the distance
I’m right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it’s my disguise
I’m by your side

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar
We’ll have it good
We’ll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I’ve got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I’d write it all
Even more in love with me you’d fall
We’d have it all

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they’ve got planes and trains and cars
I’d walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we’ll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you’re to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don’t you miss me
Two more years and you’ll be done with school
And I’ll be making history like I do
You’ll know it’s all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here’s to you
This ones for you

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me.

The thing with long distance relationship is sometimes you get used to it, sometimes you don’t. Being in a long distance relationship would probably mean a whole lot of phone bills and insecurities among other things.

A lot of my friends are weirded out why we don’t call each other daily. We don’t only not call each other daily, we don’t even sms daily. And on every other day when we happen to catch each other on MSN, that’s quite nice too. No webcam because the both of us are too lazy to plug the usb in and do the appropriate set-ups and sometimes I think he has forgotten that he has a skype account.

But it’s cool. You just lead your own life and when you see each other, you revel in those brief happy moments. Sometimes I’m not sure if that’s the way this should be done. But what has kept me going is by believing that what we have is our own special thing and not comparable to any of the couples’ around us. Like our own special story with it’s own special ending. It’s different.

Some people who started off by being together almost 24/7 a day would probably have it a whole lot tougher. But at least they got to learn more about each other that way. Some of us have to make do with the intense glimpse that we try to give each other whenever we can.

In every long distance relationship, you would count down the years to a time when the both of you would be able to see each other on a daily basis. The both of us will graduate in three years, but there is also a chance that we might not(though I hope we will) see each other on a daily basis in the three years of our government service. Me with Malaysia, him with Singapore.(and when he returns to Malaysia, the government might throw him to some faraway hospital in the outskirts. So plus another three years of government service. We’ll be 29 and 30 by then. Whoopee.) See, that’s why I want to work in Johor during my service years as a compromise.

We’ve never been able to see each other on a daily basis for more than three weeks at a go since we got together in 2004. Weekends, a stretch of holidays, special occasions.. all stolen moments. I’ve never stopped wishing that they could be longer.

Though from the beginning I came into this believing that I can do it because I won’t miss what I never knew. But I was wrong. You can actually start to crave these things.

You wish that he would be around and take you out where you could do things together almost every other day.

Hang out at each other’s place and watch DVDs without feeling weirded out because your parents would probably be used to him and his with you.

You wish you could put cushions in his car because you spend so much time there driving around to destinations to see friends together.

You wish you didn’t have to think about IDD cards(though I’ve only ever bought it once, heh.) or catching each other online because you’re only a main road away.

You wish you didn’t have to feel so sad when your plans to see each other fail for one day because there isn’t ‘another day la’ for a long long time.

Some couples moan and groan about their impending long distance relationship when one of them goes off to further his or her studies. Some couples who are only half a thousand kilometers apart wax lyrical about how depressing a long distance relationship can be. It might sound short but it’s definitely not simple.

We have school, we have holidays at different times of the year, we have busy weekends, we hope our parents will understand why we need to travel every now and then..

.. we hope to get the most out of each other.

As the saying goes, “Studies first.” It’s good that we’re firm believers of that. At least we don’t screw our futures up by living in poverty together or something.

Blame the song for putting me in this mode!

This part especially:

“Hey there Delilah
You be good and don’t you miss me
Two more years and you’ll be done with school
And I’ll be making history like I do
You’ll know it’s all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here’s to you
This ones for you”

Gotta love songs that you can relate to. 🙂 By the way, I think I’m having a Moffatts moment with the Plain White T’s. All love songs and some break up songs.

I’d probably be worse off if I’m not seeing him in two days time. That’s right, five days in Singapore! To see him of course…but I’ll also be attending the Nuffnang’s Singapore Rush Hour 3 screening, much thanks to Ming. And I was also hoping to catch the Singapore NUS Parade-or is it called Rag Day? I kind of regret it because Chee Kiang would be busy during the entire day of the 10th and then transport the Sheares Hall’s float to the parade area during the night. So I won’t see him till the day of the parade.

Oh well:) Can’t wait!

By the way, I’m writing an article for r.age about long distance relationships. I’ve already submitted my idea to the editor and all I need now is material. I have a few. I’m still looking for couples who are willing to share a little bit of sweets and maybe give me a high res photo to go along with the story about their tormentuous LDR. 🙂 Drop me a mail if you have a story to share.