Sometimes it is so difficult to be friends with girls.
Don’t you notice the barrier? With guys, friendships are so much easier to build. More jokes can be cracked. More things can be said. Or maybe that is flirting?
Girls take far more time to warm up to each other and most cliques were formed in secondary school, taking an average of about 5 years. Not all girls are fun to click with. Some of them cannot give you the reactions that you are used to, and sometimes you cannot give them the reaction that they are used to. Now that is a problem with wavelength. If you’re not on the same frequency, it’s downhill from there I’m telling you.
First it starts off with the over polite replies..”Really?!! Wow… Issit? Ohhh!! I see i see..and then..?! Ohhh..ooohhh!!! Ooooooo..so funny!! heeehee!”
Then it dwindles off to the polite smiles…*thin lipped grin and slow nods of the head with eyes wide open to show “excitement”*
After awhile, the things they do tend to get on you. Then that’s when the gossip starts. Bitching and backstabbing, inevitable.
But don’t think that it stops there. Girls are like walking emotions detectors. If someone is being remotely cold to her, she can sense it. First she gets just a LIL bit upset about the sudden coldness…then she finds fault to get angry at the OTHER girl.
Now we have moved on to the evil glare. The two girls have stopped talking to each other. Extreme cases involves nudging and pushing(I have been guilty of it… back in form2, there was this girl who rolled her eyes at me and I pushed her and said, “You think you damn great la now?”..my goodness, I’m such a bully.). The more daring the girls get, the more bitch comments you can hear being thrown back and forth. Just yesterday, Vinnie and I accidentally grabbed the same piece of notes from the stack of photostated notes. After a slight game of tug of war, I won (pulled really hard) and she gave the extremely spiteful JELINGAN MATA.(the motion of closing your eyes for a second or two before sweeping your glance sideways with anger-filled eyes…..a technique all girls have mastered since kindergarten. No shit.)
But those are extreme cases of soured friendships between girls lah.
It is usually problems with differences in wavelength. The more civilized girls usually don’t really indulge in conversation with each other on a regular basis. Only when you bump into each other do you force yourself to make small talk. This is when the over polite replies and over polite smiles come to picture.
What about the over friendly girls? I have been told that I am too friendly sometimes but I don’t think so. I am just good at making small talk and sounding interestingly interested when I meet people for the first time like throwing in questions about themselves.
There have been more extreme cases than me. Some girls have to know their limits. We’re not that close yet, do NOT invade my personal bubble. A few months back, there was this girl who would link arms with me and then stroke my hair. I’ve barely spoken more than 10 sentences with her before. Not acts of lesbianism lah, don’t worry. Just all this touchy-feely things that most girls enjoy. Heck, even with my childhood friends(my multicontinental(is there such a word?) dahlings who are all over the world) and I link arms only when we are extremely high or when we need a hug or two after a bad day. Different cultures I suppose. Especially if those girls are not clickable, arms linking and hair stroking will only make me feel like bashing you in the face. Then there are those girls who speak to you like they are trying to seduce you. LIKE HELLO!! TUNE BACK YOUR FREQUENCY! YOU’RE TALKING TO A GIRL NOW..NOT A GUY!
This reminds me of a girl in national service. You know la all of us get so sweaty at the end of the day. She was already annoying in her own right, very irresponsible, always hungry hence acting damn kesian by staring hungrily or licking her lips resulting in us offering her our biscuits and she had a couple of teeth missing to add to the overall picture. After a long sweaty day, the girls would hang in the dorm and start gossiping about the other girls in the other dorms… and then she will WANT to know what we’re talking about(she usually gets left out..kesian)..she would nudge and say, “ehhhh apa you all cakap?” at the same time taking her index fingers to exert force on your forearm while dragging it down so that it flicks off at the side. THAT IS POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF OUR SWEATY FOREARMS AND HER STICKY FINGERS. EW EW EW EW.
To click well, girls have to:-
1) have the same sense of humour.
2) despise the same people.
3) adore the same type of guys. (it’s nice to bond over a good gushing-over-cute-guys session) But this can backfire as well when the girls fall in love with the same guy. But that’s another story for another day. 😀
4) the same interests. (ie. nail arts, blogs, tv shows, sticker collecting(abit risky…too childish a hobby to build a good friendship over), dogs, same perversive minds etc.)
5) have similiar attitude (ie. Loud girls HATE quiet girls and vice versa)
Here’s an interesting revelation:
We’ve all come across girls who have crushed on the same guy. It is more complicated when the girls are already great friends to begin with. Fortunately for me, I’ve only been involved in only ONE similiar case and it wasn’t even that big a deal, so no problems. But there are girls who were already not on the same wavelength having a crush on the same guy. Now that’s when the extreme bitchfest starts.
I have been guilty of farting in the face of one such person due to my extreme jealousy wayyyy back in secondary school.(She was standing behind me on the staircase).
But I have gotten my fair share of bitch-bullies as well. Back in form1, these few girls will nudge and push me and say, “Bitch. He damn bad taste etc etc.”. or scream at me from two blocks away, “(name of guy) GOT DAMN BAD TASTE. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”. Luckily I’m not so stunningly beautiful to receive this kind of treatment year after year.
But girls will find every possible reason to launch a full on I-hate-you-you-hate-me campaign when they discover that they have a (current)boy in common. It’s quite fun to release the tension that way. But you kind of grow out of it. Or maybe you don’t? I’ll need some input from those with ex boyfriends who have new girlfriends. Fortunately, I have not experienced that kind of scenarios.Â 🙂 Even if you don’t like the boy anymore, the hatred for the girl still lingers on. It becomes a habit more or less.
Guys are easier to befriend. The noisier onesÂ can beÂ handled byÂ trying to outdo their crappings and then you come out the winner(after managing to shut him up), and everybody has fun.
The quieter ones, you just try to tease him until he blushes, you come out the winner, and everybody has fun.
Not same with girls leh. The noisiest one will scare you into submission. The quiet ones will annoy you with the shy nods and silence.
But when you do find a girl whom you can click with, it’s SO much more fun then a semi cute flirt-worthy new guy friend.