So Can I Be Married Off Now?

I’m horrid at keeping promises.:)

I have lined up quite a number of guys(heck, I even have to divide them into batches… I think 4 guys per post is ideal. Not too few, not too many.) for you girls. It was quite fun going around my MSN messenger and starting off conversations with “HOI..ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?!!”

So stay tuned!


In the mean time, the pimptress(how to spell ah actually? Pimpstress or pimptress??) needs to set her priorities straight. 🙂 Studies come first yeah, sorry girls. (and gay boys, if there are any).

Besides pimping guyfriends and studying, I’ve been experiencing period pains(I have to blog this because I usually refer to my previous blog entries to see when my last period arrived. Very useful.) and cooking dinner almost every other night. Lie Yuen and I even invited Andy, Pei Zhi and Xin Yi over for dinner. Hehehehe.


Pei Zhi posing with the home cooked food.


Lie Yuen cooked her trademark dish. I have to say that it was sort of my fault that she had to repeat it as I used up all the prawns and she wanted to cook some with her eggs.


Four drumsticks.. but paiseh to share among six people. So we shredded the chicken.


Ta-da!! First fry the onion rings with garlic. Marinate the prawns with sugar and salt and after that wash it off before throwing it in to the pan to cook together with the onion rings. A few dollops of oyster sauce is added. Followed by much more tomato sauce to make the gravy. Mmm. Garnish with spring onions for aesthetic purposes.

My mother teach me one. 🙂 *beams proudly*

AND IT TASTES GOOD OKAY. ASK LIE YUEN!


Nothing so difficult about this. I made mixed vegetables and threw in bits of luncheon meat for that meaty taste.


l-r: Andy who is in doubt of our cooking, Pei Zhi, Xin Yi and fellow chef Lie Yuen.

For desert we had konyaku jelly!!


Blue tray for Longan. Red tray for Strawberry. Green tray for Kiwi. Pure coincidence.


I even bought plastic cupcake cups to make my jellies.


Ready to be popped into the fridge to chill.


After a tiring day at university, cups and cups of konyaku jelly awaits in the depths of the fridge to appease your tastebuds. Ahhh.

More Sweetheart Bachelors For Your Picking

Editted at 12.03am on 6/5/06: Hahahahha…. Exotic E-guy, Dashing Daniel/Kwo Kuang, Kinky Kay Hong and Yummy Yijin were right. Their faces really can help raise my hits man!!
Today’s hits recorded 463 unique hits and 623 pageloads!! LOL.
*for those who do not understand..Unique is the Number of DIFFERENT IP addresses viewing my blog. I always like to believe it as 463 PEOPLE viewing it. (I can get delusional sometimes.. it could be myself viewing it hour, after hour.) and Pageloads means the amount of time the refresh button has been pressed. It’s not my highest lah(highest was 1700 unique hits when Kenny Sia pimped and 800 unique when Minishorts pimped me), but these days, business slow, so anything more than my satisfactory average of 400 unique I also happy liao.
And of course Wild Weng Lum, Dashing Daryl and Charming Chun Leen helped spike the hits as well.

More pickings tomorrow:)

*


Thought I should at least look the part of a pimptress. Yeah, nice hat I know. I needed a new hairband and I can never resist stupid things. Hence.

*flexes fingers* Now..

A’right, the following victims of mine have been recruited by me. But no worries girls, I only pimp the ones sans emotional baggage. Better for the business you see.


Lok Weng Lum, as you can see, moves with high society. At 19 years of age, he has elegance, charm and the amazing ability to bitch WITH you about anything under the sun. Perhaps one of the few remaining guys who has no problems reading girls’ minds. I can tell, I have the gift, you see. Most guys get a slap on their heads for being “Ugh, men”, but Weng Lum has the gift to communicate with women you see.Not just all that sweet talk bullshit but actual things that you can relate to. It’s a rare trait to find in men.


And I think it says it all when I tell you that he loves children. Especially your children.
For more information on Weng Lum..
Email me at jolenelai@gmail.com, with the subject: Wild Weng Lum


I know you want more.


Daryl Seow Li Sheng. This 20 year old car enthusiast is currently under a scholarship with Mercedes Benz and is a Mercedes Benz technician. Just how many little boys get to fulfill their dreams? (Safe for Yummy Yijin the pilot in my previous post). This guy has a heart of gold and is a perfect candidate for those of you who are looking for a strong, solid and long lasting relationship.


Don’t mind that beautiful girl there, she’s just a friend. A friend of mine as well, ehehe, that’s Gaya by the way.
Daryl is sweet, funny and talks alot of cock but that’s what fun is all about right? He has an extremely big heart and is able to love you whole heartedly, just like how a woman should be treated.
For more information on Daryl..
Please email me at jolenelai@gmail.com, with the subject: Dashing Daryl


No? Still fussy?


Allow me to present to you the final candidate of the four…
..is a friendly 19 going on 20 year old Johor boy called Chun Leen. He was Chee Kiang’s room mate when they were studying in Temasek Junior College, Singapore together under their ASEAN scholarship. So do not worry girls, he is a brilliant boy, your parents will LOVE him. Besides, he is INDIRECTLY Jolene-trained. High quality stuff.

Since Chee Kiang is my boyfriend, and Chun Leen was his room mate and hence CKs good habits might have been instilled in Chun Leen as well.


He hopes to do Law in the National University of Singapore and I’m sure he’ll be a fantastic lawyer at that. His best quality is that he is an extremely friendly person and fun loving as well. Works well for a first date, don’t you think? And of course, subsequence dates till you live happily ever after.
For more information on Chun Leen..
Please email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Charming Chun Leen.


Till the next round of cheeky single boys who have given me permission to pimp them in such a manner.
By the way, I only find it entertaining to pimp my own friends. LOL, I don’t care if it doesn’t entertain you, as long as it entertains me. And maybe, hopefully, someone actually takes these pimpages(I created that word, yes) seriously and sends in an email requesting for more information on the boys. Ehehe.

A Night Out With SOME Bachelors and Cheng Beng Before That.

I know, i know, weird title. I met up with a few of the boys in what seemed like ages.

But do I have good news for you girls or what? They are single AND very very available.

First up, I have a sexy pilot to introduce to you girls!


His name is Han Yijin, and sometimes he goes by the moniker, Julian. He is 20 years old this year and has 6 months left before he becomes a full fledged pilot with the Malaysian Airlines. He promises to fly you to whereever your heart desires. He’ll bring you to the destination of your dreams and promises never to even bat an eyelid at the air stewardess. Don’t those dimples just rock your boat so bad?!
For more information on Yijin…
Email jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Yummy Yijin


Second in line we have the oh so tok-kok-alot Chew Kay Hong. Or …NiCholaS. (goes away and laughs for awhile). Okay, I’m back, Ahem. Right.
Kay Hong is a 20 year old business student at Taylor’s Business School who hopes to pass his exams in order to go to Sydney in the middle of the year to further his education. He would love a serious relationship(praise the heavens!!) but would be heartbroken when he leaves for Sydney in the middle of the year. He’s looking I’m looking for a woman who can take good care of him and make him kiss the ground she walks on. Not very hard to do, but all the best in sustaining it! Ganbate girls! He can make you laugh non-stop if you’re looking for a clown. 🙂
For more information on Kay Hong..
Email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Kinky Kay Hong


The third and the sweetest of the lot!
A relatively shy boy who is damn sien about trying to explain his name time and time again, Siow E-Guy, is also 20 years old this year. If Siow E-Guy doesn’t cut it for you, you can call him Gary. But I prefer E-Guy. Thanks ah. A Mechanical Engineering student at Semenyih NOTTS, he comes back every weekend so no worries about the whole typical Long Distance Relationship(LDR) syndrome kids our age so dread. He is everything your parents have dreamt of..so what are you waiting for? Bring him home, NOW!
For more information on E-Guy…
Email jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Exotic E-Guy


I’m wondering if I should screw this up for him for the amount of times he has bullied me. (ie. clipping the retort stand to my pinafore back in school, slapping my hand on a puddle of undried liquid paper, poking at my pimples, calling me fat..)
ANYWAY…
Our comical and ever so lovable Lim Kwo Kuang is SURPRISE SURPRISE 20 years old this year as well. You can call him Daniel if you like. He is a Chemical Engineering student at NOTTS Semenyih as well and comes back every weekend as well. There will never be a dull moment with him because he is so goddamn funny. Does very good imitations of anything that is imitable, pulls stupid monkey faces to cheer you up and will be the first to make you feel better when you’re feeling down. Okay lah, got to love him.
But remember to give him a good slap if he insults you too much.
For more info on Kwo Kuang..
Email me at jolenelai@gmail.com with the subject: Desirable Daniel (sorry lah, K no more adjectives in my lousy vocabulary).


Just a couple more photos of the sexy bachelors to entice you girls ..
L-r: Desirable Daniel, Yummy Yijin


Group shot!
L-r: Desirable Daniel, Yummy Yijin, Kinky Kay Hong, Exotic E-Guy.

Yummy Yijin and Kinky Kay Hong are members of the famed Leng Chai Gang. Don’t ask, i also malas to explain. *rolls eyes*


I’ve tried and tested Kinky Kay Hong, not too bad I should say. If you guys don’t mind that he is now an opened package, be my guest and email me! HAhaha.
By the way, it’s a glittery tattoo some girl made for him.


The bachelors posing with their pimptress!

hahahaha.. Com’n, how do you expect me to blog about an Asia Cafe dinner with old friends?? Sien. So I had to spice things up a bit. Besides, the boys were so adamant that their handsome faces can attract alot of hits for my blog wor. Rigghhhht. *observes NO rise in hits*

The reason I was back for the weekend was to go down to Malacca for a very very late Cheng Beng session.


Welcome to the Simple Ho family. Where we offered the same cake we were gonna be eating for tea time to our grandfather. Still family what, sharing is caring.


Since most of the ancestors were situated at the bottom row, we sat down and spent time with them. Ahem. Then I was randomly recognising chinese characters(yes, miracles happen, I can recognise a few, like Wong, Lam, Sim, Lee, Ming, Lan, You etc etc). So my grandmother was telling me whether I was right or wrong. Then she also got into the fun and started criticising the names of the deceased neighbours of our ancestors. She was saying that back in those days people were illiterate and named their kids Ah Kau(Dog), Ah Ngau(Cow), Ah Chu(Pig) and etc.


Chillin’ with the deceased relatives.


You can’t do much when you’re visiting deceased relatives can you?


Maybe his mother loved chinese opera. or is that a palace?


Ugh. Disturbing.


I meant to take a photo of them coconut puddings, but this happens with good food. Yummm!

All 11 of my bestest best friends(AbbyAmandaMelodyEstherHsienSheDeeMinDeeLiPengMunTengLiss minus Chien) were ALL online at the same time after dinner. So amazing to have 11 people in a chatroom. 11 people who matters to each other. Unlike those pointless chatrooms where you just get invited in randomly not knowing what to make of the strangers in there.

I Only Wanted To Say Goodnight And Goodbye.

I think my period is coming that’s why.

I’m sorry for being such a girl and emo-ing at the wrong time.

There was a slight dispute which was due to what I said and after hours of re-evaluating myself, I decided to admit that I was at fault and was being silly.

I cannot help it if I am old fashioned. Even my own cousin scolded me for being old fashioned.

I had a drink with my cousin sister at Starbucks where she surfed the net on my laptop looking for a place to stay in Sunway/Subang area. We had a long chat over that new banana specialty drink(I don’t know my starbucks). At about 12am, I sent her back to her apartment and thought about what happened earlier in the day.

Maybe I should go to his house, and call him out to the gate just so I can say a simple good bye.

The drive from Sunway to SS19 took me 10 minutes because I wasn’t going very fast. The roads were empty and the music on the radio was distracting me. My heart thumped along to the beats and I turned the radio off when I could no longer stand the way my heart was beating in sync to the radio beats.

The air conditioning was starting to make me feel more nervous than I already was. I was shivering while I was driving partly due to the cold and partly due to being nervous. I have no explanation why I was nervous but perhaps because I thought it would be damn nice to put a smile on his face.

You know what kind of nervousness was it? It was the type of nervousness you get whenever you’re about to tell someone that you like them very much. The difficult to breath, extremely cold feeling enveloping you type.

When I turned into his row, I parked my car in front of his neighbour’s house and the shadows from the trees outside his house provided me with a temporary sanctuary.
I turned the engine off and dialled his number on my handphone. I was feeling all happy and nervous at the same time. Wonder what he would say when he sees me outside his house?

*Bleeep*

My screen flashed a couple of times and went black.

I pressed the power button, hard.

My screen lit up again and died violently this time. *Bleeeep!! Bleep! Bleeep!*

I was thinking, this cannot be happening to me. I wanted to do this and my phone has no battery?!

I know that he has a wireless network and decided to try my luck and see if I can connect via my laptop and go online and communicate with him from there.

I searched the networks in my range and ah hah, there it was, Wireless Lam.

But it was a secured connection. Might as well just surrender, give up and go home.

It would be mad to knock on his door at that hour so I decided to head home.

One of his family cars just pulled up at his front door. I drove past and didn’t want to look back, because it’s odd for a girl to be outside the house at that hour. But if it was him in the car…then can really be like some Hong Kong drama show where the two leads don’t realise that it is each other that they have just surpassed.

No don’t worry folks, nothing bad happened. It’s just me wanting to surprise him with a goodbye before I head back to Kedah.

I drove home, somewhat disappointed and dejected.

I called him when I reached home and told him what happened and he told me that it was alright. Such a pity, but it’s alright.

After hanging on the phone for awhile he went back to his books as he has a test tomorrow.

My period really coming wei. I can feel it. Stupid emo stupid girl STUPID STUPID GIRL.