I Only Wanted To Say Goodnight And Goodbye.

I think my period is coming that’s why.

I’m sorry for being such a girl and emo-ing at the wrong time.

There was a slight dispute which was due to what I said and after hours of re-evaluating myself, I decided to admit that I was at fault and was being silly.

I cannot help it if I am old fashioned. Even my own cousin scolded me for being old fashioned.

I had a drink with my cousin sister at Starbucks where she surfed the net on my laptop looking for a place to stay in Sunway/Subang area. We had a long chat over that new banana specialty drink(I don’t know my starbucks). At about 12am, I sent her back to her apartment and thought about what happened earlier in the day.

Maybe I should go to his house, and call him out to the gate just so I can say a simple good bye.

The drive from Sunway to SS19 took me 10 minutes because I wasn’t going very fast. The roads were empty and the music on the radio was distracting me. My heart thumped along to the beats and I turned the radio off when I could no longer stand the way my heart was beating in sync to the radio beats.

The air conditioning was starting to make me feel more nervous than I already was. I was shivering while I was driving partly due to the cold and partly due to being nervous. I have no explanation why I was nervous but perhaps because I thought it would be damn nice to put a smile on his face.

You know what kind of nervousness was it? It was the type of nervousness you get whenever you’re about to tell someone that you like them very much. The difficult to breath, extremely cold feeling enveloping you type.

When I turned into his row, I parked my car in front of his neighbour’s house and the shadows from the trees outside his house provided me with a temporary sanctuary.
I turned the engine off and dialled his number on my handphone. I was feeling all happy and nervous at the same time. Wonder what he would say when he sees me outside his house?

*Bleeep*

My screen flashed a couple of times and went black.

I pressed the power button, hard.

My screen lit up again and died violently this time. *Bleeeep!! Bleep! Bleeep!*

I was thinking, this cannot be happening to me. I wanted to do this and my phone has no battery?!

I know that he has a wireless network and decided to try my luck and see if I can connect via my laptop and go online and communicate with him from there.

I searched the networks in my range and ah hah, there it was, Wireless Lam.

But it was a secured connection. Might as well just surrender, give up and go home.

It would be mad to knock on his door at that hour so I decided to head home.

One of his family cars just pulled up at his front door. I drove past and didn’t want to look back, because it’s odd for a girl to be outside the house at that hour. But if it was him in the car…then can really be like some Hong Kong drama show where the two leads don’t realise that it is each other that they have just surpassed.

No don’t worry folks, nothing bad happened. It’s just me wanting to surprise him with a goodbye before I head back to Kedah.

I drove home, somewhat disappointed and dejected.

I called him when I reached home and told him what happened and he told me that it was alright. Such a pity, but it’s alright.

After hanging on the phone for awhile he went back to his books as he has a test tomorrow.

My period really coming wei. I can feel it. Stupid emo stupid girl STUPID STUPID GIRL.