And You Wonder Why People Think You’re Aloof

In any given social setting, it is most important that a person takes the initiative to mingle around. Be it relatives that you’ve not seen in ages, strangers who are of no use to you… the list goes on. Small talk might be pretentious but at least you’re showing the person some kind of interest.

There are so many people whom I have crossed path with that I find incredibly arrogant but only later on did I learn that they are actually very quiet in nature.

Then there are the ones who don’t really give a damn because getting to know someone who is deemed to be insignificant in their lives, are unworthy of their precious time.

Obviously I would mean people my own age whom I have observed. Most of these people are in their late teens to early 20s and I realize when in the company of adults they hardly know, they won’t bother with the small talk. They don’t even want to sit in the same room but want to go somewhere more secluded to chat among the ‘young’ people.

They don’t even bother to feign interest in adult chatter. By adult, I mean anyone older than the age of 35. That’s the definition of an adult – at an age where you should have had a few school going kids.

I personally think it is rude because adults are humans too. Don’t be so tak layan can or not?

I know some would say things like, “I’m not the type to mengambil hati one. Take me as I am. If you can’t like me for me, so be it.”

Having a few stands in life ( like mine of never attending any church events except for weddings and christianings and maybe when my best friends get baptised or something ..SO STOP ASKING ME TO GO TO YOUR CHURCH EVENT BECAUSE I SAID OVER AND OVER AND OVER FOR SO MANY DAMN YEARS THAT I . AM. NOT. INTERESTED. I HATE IT HATE HATE HATE!!!  ) is okay, but sticking to such an arrogant sounding principle just makes you a down right snob. Unless the person whom you’re talking to has been proven to be a total bitch/asshole, then by all means ignore the person lah. But if this is some new acquaintance, it’s nice to ask a few questions about his or her hometown, if they have any children.. or maybe ask questions related to the situation to basically lighten up the slightly awkward atmosphere. Friendliness gets people through a lot of things, you know.

These examples I’m citing are however not extreme arrogance. They would still have a small chat if it was initiated by some friendly adult.

Okay, maybe not only adults. What about friends of friends? You know, the type that you see everyday, standing next to that person you always say hi to? These people whom you don’t know are worthy of your hellos, okay. How can you treat the person as if he or she is invisible? Getting to know more people is always a good thing. Don’t be so arrogant.

It doesn’t hurt to give Hellos all around. I do it so often that sometimes, I even give a hello to a total stranger whom I thought was part of the group I was saying hello to.

Worse of all, you make your friends who notice this part of you feel bad. They notice your acquaintances looking at you queringly and wonder why can’t you communicate more. Personally, I feel that these people who don’t bother making other people feel comfortable or accepted in a social setting are still extremely immature.