Eat Shit Sleep Week Day 2 – Of Nocturnal Students and Hamster Sex

aka the diary of the girl who doesn’t come out of the house unless for lunch and dinner. Sometimes even not.

Exams, my friends, exams, that’s why.

My brother decided to join me in my mundane postings.

I feel like a super slob for waking up at 2pm today. Usually Lie Yuen wakes me up to go for lunch but today she went back to her grandma’s place and poor Cze-Yin didn’t wake me up and would rather sit and wait for the slob to wake up.

The slob was up all night attempting to study but I kept getting distracted by my fornicating hamsters!

At about 12.30am last night, my cousin sister Fee Yuan(or Jen as she is known) asked, “Jojo! Why aren’t you asleep?”

To which I replied, “Dear Yan Yan Cheh cheh, 12.30 is far too early for me!”

“Jojo = Night Owl?”, she asked innocently. Somehow calling me Jojo gives everything a child-like innocence.

Far from that dear cousin. “Jojo = Godfather of all Night Owls.”

We both had a good laugh about my adamant insomnia (the choice of not going to sleep) and then wondered if I’ll ever tune my body back to what society deem as normal.

Does the body fall into a normal bedtime routine when one starts working? I mean all that energy drained out from an entire day, surely one would feel tired and lethargic almost after dinner?

It’s like I’m going haywire from not keeping to a normal bed time. I don’t even try to change myself. I believe that I will find myself sleeping like a normal person the moment I start my first 9-5 job. Yeah, no worries, I’ll get there.

What is this need to stay up for? I feel like it lengthens my day but should I be doing this? I feel guilty when the clock strikes 5.(yeah, even 4am is not “naughty” yet). I of course feel tired the next day, but do I ever learn? NoOO. I do feel like I’m leading a very messed up life sometimes. But if I sleep early, I cannot get other aspects of my life in order! (lots of things left undone). Oh woe is me!

Are young people like that?(haha, I realise I always call myself young. Shall keep calling myself young before I look foolish for doing so. Also give that one another two years. Yeap.) I have a classmate who keeps to a regular routine of a somewhat-okay bed time(read: 1.30am-2am) and coming for his 9am classes. But the moment you put him on holiday, it’s like his living on the other side of the world. Or in his own time zone and he eats only one meal a day when he wakes up for the DAY at 7pm. Sleeps by 11am. So are humans all like that? When you put them into a routine, they follow it because they know they need to or they will under perform at whatever that they are doing. But when you strip them off a normal routine, they fall into slob mode and just do what they like and allow their entire world to go upside down.

I’d like to be normal but I can’t be bothered to try. ;|

I was supposed to be studying yesterday but for a better part of the night, I was totally distracted by my fornicating hamsters! I’ve never seen hamsters mate before so it was all very interesting.

Apparently the female hamsters go on heat every four days. Their vaginas will secrete a cloudy discharge which gives off a musky smell. Mmm. The male hamsters got a whiff of that(in their own respective cages) and went absolutely crazy!!

I started off with two hamsters but they started fighting. They fought so badly until one of their cheeks was bleeding and the other hamster had bleeding balls. Yah, BLEEDING balls. I don’t know what’s wrong with the other hamster. It was scary as they battled every night. Dey thinkz theyz Pokemonz. So I went to buy wives for each of them. Now they are very horny, which is good. I wanna have a hamster farm one day!

I was observing the white hamster’s antics because he was more aggressive than the black one which is in the other cage. He would use both his paws to grab frantically onto the waist(?) of the female hamster and then the female hamster would freeze with her tail sticking up and her legs splayed apart. Ooh, like real wtf. Haha.

The male hamster would then pump at what can only be calculated using the Hertz unit. It’s like super fast. Since my white hamster is a virgin, as described by some website, he would hump from all directions. Which is true! He humped the poor female’s head, humped her sides…and all the time her legs were splayed waiting for him to penetrate her.

Curious, I took each hamster out to have a look see at their genitals. The female’s genitals were puffy and drippy. Okay, scary, put back. Then the male’s one looked pretty normal(though I can never ever stop gawking at the size of them hamster balls.), as in one tiny bump followed by a tiny orifice 1cm below it where the shit would come out. I was thinking, “How is he gonna fuck eh with a non-existent dicky in hamster style sex?(which looks like doggie style btw)”.

I put them back together and let them get on with their mating ritual. The guy finally found the correct position and was pumping so fast he became a white blur of fluff. Dey thinkz dey pornstarz.

After awhile, the two hamsters crashed to their sides and then lay there with the male hamster still hugging onto the female and the female hamster just lying there. Oooh! She actually closed her eyes while he was pumping. Hahahahhaa. I think it’s like dogs also… when my dogs mated last time, they just stood there, locked at the buttocks with the male’s(Bubbles!) stomach contracting and relaxing at intervals.

After that, they broke apart and licked their genitals to clean it. Don’t really know why, the internet doesn’t say why. The girl was still licking at her puffy genitals but what the male did was totally unexpected. He was pulling at his now-longer dicky (which resembled a 2cm long red meehoon-like organ) and cleaning it. I never knew it was in there all along so it really caught me by surprise!

I hope to have a cage full of baby hamsters real soon! Anybody want to buy hamsters from me, let me know. 😛

It was supposed to be a joint business venture with Brenda. We even wanted to call our hamster selling business “Got Ham?” Haha. Damn stupid.

I hope to study more tonight. Please please give me the strength to study more tonight. I feel so lethargic and unmotivated. Okay, time to go offline. Babai.