I Did Not Matter For Awhile

Shaken is the story,
That I will proudly tell,
Wrong is the memory,
That I knew so well.

Tears I forbade,
When I heard each word,
As they threatened to cascade,
I stiffled my hurt.

What I thought I knew,
Is something I imagined,
Till there was your cue,
I came back in.

A magical moment,
I remember I relished,
Self-fabricated, self-woven,
The moment unfinished.

I try not to cry,
Harder than I try to smile.
Just tell me why.
I did not matter for awhile.

I’ve based this foundation,
On everything in the past,
This is my explaination,
If you must ask.

To use a single word,
To tell you how I feel,
I’ll go with deluded,
But you know I’ll heal.

If anything, I was naive,
To think that you could stay,
For so long and be brave,
As I pushed you away.

Though we were not together,
Our story had begun,
I thought it was clear,
That I was your only one.

I’m sorry that I’ve written this,
It may have meant nothing to you,
This pen is my release,
I’m sure you know it too.

Allow me my brief heartbreak.
I promise you it will be short.
From the feigned past I awake,
Don’t worry, it’s not your fault.

If people were to judge me,
For how petty I can be,
This is my story,
A mistaken history.

Just me needing to spill. 🙂 everything’s fine.