There’s Only So Much I Can Offer

There are a few things that I do not like and am constantly wondering about.

Why do I always appear as a big pillar of support coated with glue? Throughout the years that I’ve been alive, I always seem to encourage acquaintances to be extra chummy with me. Which IS a good thing. But every now and then I seem to find myself babysitting or even nursing one or two.

I remember accidentally acquiring a pet sister back in secondary school and for one Saturday, she insisted on following me everywhere and even took to calling me “cheh cheh” after awhile. My friends pulled me aside and asked why do I have a leech sticking around. And I was like, “hell i know!”

I don’t dare say that I’m too nice. Nooo. I’m a bad person when I want to appear so.

But I can’t bear to have a self proclaimed bosom buddy who turns to you every other time with a look on his or her face that says “We have to have a heart-to-heart talk about my problems”.

These are the people who only feel that their lives are complete if they have problems to go with it, or so CLEO reports every now and then. Sometimes, they even start conversations by trying to address your problems – problems which you don’t even know existed!

I mean I like having my acquaintances to turn into friends but when I get a spillage of heart-to-heart talks, I feel myself retract and yearn to detach myself.

We hope certain people will become our friends because we find them endearing with their cheery personalities. Have you ever been drawn to a person who constantly mopes around under a cloud of despair? Obviously not.

But of course, it’s never that obvious if a person is going to turn out to be a heart-to-heart talking moper with a one track mind. People appear interesting because they are open to new ideas and laugh at silly suggestions. Who can withstand people who scorn at slightly different ideas, slightly different lifestyles or even slightly different people?(I might be a little hypocritical here, but I swear I only have a mild case of it)?

Without opening yourself to other mentalities, you end up a dull and boring outcast. The very thing that you fear that will happen to you thus you find so many ways to compensate the things you fear others think that you do not have.

You can only offer so much of yourself to someone that you have no intention of being best of friends with or even get into a romantic relationship with. That’s my mistake with alot of these acquaintances of mine. At first I shower them with utmost sympathy and then I find myself in a vicious cycle of listening to many variations of the same problem. Everytime they turn to look at me, I can just see it in their eyes, “I need to talk…..”…about the same thing, no doubt. *rolls eyes*

I mean I don’t mean to be cruel but there’s so much a person can take when helping another with his or her problems.

Question though: Why do people find satisfaction by dwelling in their problems? Is it a mental masturbation of sorts? Is it an excuse to wallow in self pity?

Sigh. While I’ve gotten that load off my chest, let me vent abit about something else. While I enjoy making a fool out of myself, I don’t like it when others go around embarrassing me without my permission. Though it’s nothing serious la. There was once when I confided in two of my closest friends about something I did, they told two other best friends about it. They were shocked(or maybe even slightly amused)…but I was pissed because I wanted to be the one to tell them and at least I could’ve structured it in a better way.

And if you must have a good laugh about my stupidness, choose the appropriate people to share it with. Don’t share it with my older relatives…or even lecturers!!(I made vagina replica out of wax the other day and one of my close friends showed it to my lecturer(as he is quite jovial)…luckily he thought it was a flower.) But babes, I’m not pissed. Just that I didn’t like it lah. What if I got into trouble for that? But that was a few days ago, so it’s okay now.. *hugs*

I’m not angry at anybody. Just needed to let the world know what ticks me. And then it’ll blow over and I’m all smiles again.

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And to those of you who are attending tomorrow’s Bloggers Together-Gather, enjoy yourself. And instead of saying May Th Best Man Win(or so a blogger friend of mine said while smsing with me in the evening)…all I have to say is May The Fucker Fuck Off.

And that’s for you, you idiotic hamsap rude copycat.