Cannot Wear Shorts One Meh?!

The cafeteria owner strikes again. Yesterday, she told me off for wearing too short shorts to the bloody cafeteria in front of a long line of other people. I mean who is she, the disciplinary board? And even if so, WHAT discipline?! The rule book did not state that I cannot wear anything I want outside of the campus.(The cafeteria is detached from the campus). In fact, the rule book said that we can wear Bermuda shorts and etc during sports and after uni hours. Sheesh. Like for heaven¡¯s sake
, it¡¯s just shorts. I was not running around in a bikini or a tube or whatever. I mean you just don¡¯t tell another adult off  for wearing something ¡®undesirable¡¯. 

Yesterday she approached me when I took her (yucky) food and she said, “Why your pants so short? Do you know that you cannot wear so short?” Then I told her that I didn¡¯t know and she said,  “Are you a new student? Next time cannot wear so short,”. I was scared lah because I thought she was some high ranking admin person in the university. Turns out that she was the one I was supposed to pay RM1.50 to if I wanted an ice-cream. So exactly what is her position to instill disciplinary advice to me? AND ONCE AGAIN IT’S NOT AGAINST THE RULES. If it was, I would’ve been told, right? If I have the chance, I will ask the students affairs department about this.

Today, when I was paying for my ice-cream, she said to me in an exasperated voice, “I told you already, your pants are too short.” Wtf?

“Oh no, THESE are longer than yesterday’s. These are not AS short as yesterday’s.” I replied, quite angered.

“Yes lah, but don’t be too short lah.” She said again.

“I’m sorry but I have no longer shorts. There’s nothing much I can do about it. The rules did not say anything about us not being able to wear shorts. It only said that I can’t wear shorts during classes and library visits.” I tried defending myself.

Just at that moment, good ol’ Jamie walked by and she said, “Yea, it¡¯s not in the rule book.”

“I don’t know lah, but the guard will scold you if he sees you in shorts,” the cafeteria owner said.

“Uh-huh, this is the cafeteria what. Not like I¡¯m going into the university at this time also, right?” . I manglished.

And with that I walked away to bitch to my friends.

HOW CAN LIKE THAT WAN???! I HATE TO BE TOLD OFF FOR THE THINGS I PUT ON MY BODY.  This will be considered as a discrimination against ugly thighs if anything. It’s like telling a fat woman, “Oi, don¡¯t wear tube can or not? Damn fat wei.”

Sorry lor if my thighs are not a nice sight.


Very short meh?

Anyway, mo liu photos from my hostel:


L-r: Wuan Ping, Me, Lishen
Posing with smiley biscuits.


Me pretending to be hardworking.


Panning cute with Lishen.

I don’t think I’ve shown you my room?


My cupboard and my clothes dumper.


My bed and the mess that surrounds it.


l-r: Wuan Ping, Lishen, Cze-Yin


Xiong Khee raiding the fridge in our kitchen

 
Lishen’s Legs                                           My legs

The Adventures Of Jay The Squirrel

Out in the wilder part of the woods, lived 7 rodents who were forced to stay together in a big oak tree because of a Rodent Conservation Programme. They were made out of 5 squirrels and 2 hedgehogs. Jay the squirrel was chosen as head of tree because she was outspoken and easily bullied. All the animals got on fine together.

Except Shannie the Squirrel and Vinnie the Hedgehog were not on good terms because they accused each other of leaving their mass of tangled fur in all the cavities(their living room, kitchen, bathroom) of the big oak tree. Jay the Squirrel was made to call or a tree-house meeting and she didn’t really wanted to but she was forced to write down the stupid rule of picking up each other’s fur should anyone shed any. It was a very embarrassing time for all the rodents.

Jay is trying her best to maintain the friendship between all the rodents in the house. But after all, hedgehog and squirrels are different species even though their all rodents.

Lately, Nini the Hedgehog has been suffering from a bout of skin problem. Nini the Hedgehog usually leaves the quiet oak tree area for the centre of the woods every now and then to pluck the so-called miraculous herbs that grows in the wilderness of the centre of the woods. Everyrodent in the oak tree is happy for Nini because it seems that she is getting better. Unfortunately, one of the side effects is that more clumpy fur is being shed and Nini the Hedgehog aggrevates it by picking at it and Shannie The Squirrel, Kiki The Squirrel and even the docile Cici the Squirrel are uncomfortable with it. They had the cheek to ask Jay the Squirrel to tell Nini off for shedding her fur everywhere. Jay the Squirrel refuses to do anything about it because it will be so damn rude to say something like that.

However, Jay the Squirrel had to clean the mess that was made from the fur shedding business and Jay lost her appetite for the big mound of nuts which was her dinner. Jay the Squirrel is not sure if she should blame Nini for making a mess and should know what’s happening and perhaps take the initiative to clean it up or if she should just stomach it in order to maintain peace in the entire tree. After all, they have no idea how many more summers and winters they will have to go through together.

On a different note, Jay The Squirrel is enraged by the owner of the mulberry bush(which is in all honesty has basically crappy berries but it is the only source of food for miles and smiles) for showing too much of her nice squirrely legs in the latest short shorts made from Hisbiscus leave.(Jay the Squirrel was in the Merdeka Mood – hence she was using the Hibiscus flower patriotically). The Mulberry Bush owner confronted Jay The Squirrel in front of all the entire animals awaiting their turn to pick mulberries. The mulberry bush owner does not allow Jay the Squirrel to wear her Hibiscus leave shorts anymore because they are too short. Another squirrel in a different conservation programme was wearing even shorter shorts(perhaps made from Jasmine leaves) and yet SHE was not told off.

Jay The Squirrel hates to be reprimanded for a dress code that is so irrational.

Maybe Jay The Squirrel will consider going naked for her mulberries picking session; just like how all squirrels were once a long time ago. 

Life Without MSN Messenger

We must’ve reached a new era of modern technology.

I can’t believe that I actually feel nostalgic when I’m making full use of my email accounts. The university does not allow us to use any form of chat programs which is why I am relying fully on my very reliable gmail account..

Who would’ve thought we’d see the day when email becomes old school?

So far in my now utilised email account, I’ve discovered that:

1) My Aunty who is my mum’s age has just graduated from Monash University
2) 9th Uncle passed away on Tuesday morning.
3) Viagra is good for penile health.
4) My mum’s family all damn happening, using email all. Oldest user is now 70+ years old.

My mum has been trying to keep up with the times as well. “A mouse? What’s a mouse?”

Maybe one fine day she will get her own email account. 🙂

It’s quite a pain in the ass having to sms your friends when you’re thinking about them or if you just feel like crapping. Back in Subang, I only had to lift the laptop onto any surface and I can sprout nonsense to the next crazy internet addict.

For the mean time, my housemates will have to deal with the fact that I will announce to them, “Miss Lai, you want to shit now. Please go to the toilet.”

Sigh. I do miss my MSN messenger.

On a different note, the house is fucking smelly.

We are not sure if it’s one of our BOs or if it’s any of our shoes. I suggested that perhaps there is a dead body decomposing in the next house(too much of CSI). That would be exciting! Then the anatomy museum in uni will have an extra dead body to work on. Just got to make do with the droopy tissues that are starting to fall apart and put them together with abit of cellophane tape. If there is slime sprouting from the cadaver’s wounds, nothing bits of napkins cannot fix.

I’m sure it’s just a dead mouse; my imagination gets the better of me at times.

Then yesterday when the bus dropped us at the neighbourhood shops to buy some necessities(they only give you this treatment on your first day at AIMST.. to make you think, “wah! so good wan ar!” Wrong leh, they will come up with a thousand and one excuses about how making that minor detour will for example result in them missing out on the birth of their 7th grandchild), I stepped out of the bus and a familiar pong of smell hit my nostrils.

I stopped in my tracks and did a stage whisper, “Lishen, THIS SMELL. It’s THIS smell!!”

Lishen tilt her nose up in the air and took a deep breath.

“Stupid girl!! Who asked you to breathe so hard?!” I yelled as I picked her off the floor, splashing her face with some water from my bottle.

But alls well as we’ve finally deduced where the horrid stench originates from. IT’S THE BLOODY DRAINS.

I lodged a complain this morning at the Student Affairs and the head of that department, Mr. R, attended to me. There was a space in the form that said, “Mode of Action:” To which he looked up at me with a straight face and said, “So, we shoot the majlis perbandaran guy?”

It’s nice to have someone with a sense of humour around. Let’s see who gets the last laugh when he comes around for a sniff.

The NS Magic Ends: I’ve Deleted Them All

It happened again.

I came home with the article from All The R.Age and showed my mum the little write up about my blog on their Blog Watch column. Mum was really excited about it and I can’t blame her for showing it to my father. But then again, I wanted my father to know that my blog received a mention in the papers; even if it is only distributed in campuses, whatever his reaction was. He seemed pretty nonchalant about it.

Then he came down for some soup and asked me, “Jo, can you stop blogging?”

I looked up at him with eyes akin to an animal caught in the headlights.

He is worried again with the exposure that I was getting from my NS blogs. He said that I’ve worked so hard(did I?) to get to where I am today and he said he doesn’t know how far this will go. I don’t know if what I wrote was detrimental towards the government but if that’s what my father thinks is best, who am I to say anything to go against his words?

I told him I’m not sure if it really deters people to avoid NS. He said, “Then don’t play with fire if you’re not sure how to.”

He doesn’t want me to go on taking the risk and there could be a possibility that the authorities MIGHT not like what they see and initiate legal proceedings against me. His rationale is that I can not afford to have a black mark in my records especially when I am only 18.

Perhaps alot of you might think I’m exaggerating but we do know that there IS the possibility that my national service blogs will not be accepted by the government.

And yes, my dad reads every single letter that I sent home. That was something that I could not avoid. He did say that I write well but he was not happy that it was in a negative sort of way. He said that I can write my blog in an autobiographical sort of way and go all out as long as it doesn’t harm anyone but then again, my NS stint was a life experience for me, Hmm. What my dad meant was that I should not be writing against intitutions.

I know it’s weird that I agreed to delete everything. Strangely, I don’t feel THAT sad. I liked the fleeting fame my blog entries received especially when the likes of Kenny Sia, TV Smith  and a host of other big bloggers who shared my blog with the rest of their worlds. I felt really happy when I saw my hits soar up during that short period of time.

I reached an all time high when Melody smsed me on Thursday morning saying that my blog was featured in All The R.Age. I was quite discouraged to see that my hits were actually deteriorating and I now get an average of 320 a day compared to the 1760 unique hits I received when Kenny blogged about my national service blogs and his thoughts on the programme. Thanks to my National Service entries, my incoming links have reached 180.

After awhile, I felt that the hits I was getting from my national service blogs were not genuine enough for me to appreciate them. It’s only because people are curious about national service which is why they read me. I started to wonder, “Will people still be bothered to drop by after the entries end?” I can easily rattle of a list of a few of my good friends and readers who became friends who will constantly check up on my life, wondering if I am eating well, sleeping well, shitting well etc but when you get a sudden surge of 1760 hits … I know this is stupid lah, but it’s heartbreaking to see your hits declining.

Besides, I felt that the magic was over. My friends complaint that I was losing my original style because of my barrage of NS entries.

Those who matter have read my NS entries, at least a few, if not all. You know what happened. Thank you for reading me.

Though I have 11 more entries to go, I decided to stop at Day 39 and delete everything before that. I’ve saved it of course and if any one of you wants to read it, you can just drop me a line at jolenelai@gmail.com. Yes, it’s still dangerous because you never know who’s behind a screen name but at least I can control who reads me.

I would like to apologise to all who have linked to me, telling your friends about my NS blogs. I feel as if I’ve left an empty hole in your blogs. My apologies to All The R.Age as well. It’s not even a week since you’ve given me some exposure.

Those of you who read my entries would know that I had a hard time dealing with my camp mates’ attitudes. But you know, my NS entries had a happy ending. Really. Like every other story. The last line of the entries would have been, “So kids, go for NS. It will be fun.” Thought I could’ve been some NS evangelist or something. Eheh.

A list of my national service entries’ titles. It was fun while it lasted..

Day 2   :Finally
Day 3   :There’s a Bitch Already
Day 4   : Homesick But Surviving
Day 5   : Racial Integration Classes
Day 6   : Making Friends With A Fellow Banana
Day 7   : Adjusting But Satisfied
Day 8   : The Recreational Buddhist Who Has To Refrain From Bitching
Day 9   : Finally Chilling
Day 10 : I Can Be A Security Guard You Know
Day 11 : Unleash The Bitch In Me And Dorm Politics  
Day 13 : Racial Integration, It’s Working!
Day 14 : How A Boring Saturday Can Have So Much
Day 15 : No Manners
Day 16 : Living Together
Day 17 : Of Paper Planes and Fried Toes
Day 18 : Racial Harmony
Day 19 : Chosen For Merdeka March!!!
Day 20 :The Physical And Mental Module Rocks!!
MERDEKA: NS HABIS DAH!!!
Day 21 : My Sufferings: Bitches and Menstrual Woes
Day 22 : I Was On TV!
Day 23 : Getting In The Mood
Day 24 : Creative Sports and Water Confidence
Day 25 : A Barrage Of Physical Activities. Owww~!
Day 28 : Adapting, adapting.
Day 29 : There Are Real Bitches
Day 30 : The Retaliation
Day 31 : Finally On The Flying Fox!
Day 32 : When the Skies Are Grey, The People Are Happier
Day 33 : Sometimes Muhibbah Is Unfair
Day 34 : Character Building Graduation Night!
Day 35 : Deep Down, I Am Jungle Joe
Day 36 : On A Lazy Sunday
Day 37 : The Sacrifices We Are Forced To Make Just To March For Merdeka
I’ll Be Marching.

Now the original Little Girl In A Reverie will resume.

In loving memory…