I Must Be Missing Him Too Much

While driving down the Federal Highway today, I felt a little turned off by everything on the radio. I feel uneasy when I listen to songs with noisy electric guitar backgrounds. Just like a long electric noise, not like single notes, you know what I mean? Electric strumming? Like one continous Zhhhhhhnnng. Ah shadefakup.

As I was driving, thoughts started permeating my head as it usually does when my mouth is closed for too long (when the radio is on, it opens to sing along).

It’s no surprise that I started thinking of Chee Kiang and how we’ve come to where we are. Like a silly girl, I started smiling to myself and thought, “Hey, my thoughts are quite entertaining.” And so entertained them, I did.

I hope nobody has dirty thoughts at this point.

We’ve actually been living in the same town for 13 years before he left to Singapore for his studies. Only THEN I decided, okay, I’m ready to be in a relationship with him. That’s how we are for the last 5 years. Well, technically we’ve been together for 3.5 years now.

Let’s eliminate the first 3 and 4 years of our lives as I was living in Petaling Jaya and he was up in Penang with his grandparents. We both started living in Subang Jaya in 1990.

While I was attending kindergarten in USJ2, crying when boys stepped on my feet and playing in the sandpit during recess, he was about 2km away in SS19, attending kindergarten with the likes of Nicholas Chan and Chew Sher Lyn. Perhaps we walked pass each other in Subang Parades on weekends while holding onto our parents’ hands, not knowing what we would become one day.

When he attended JMC classes at Yamaha Subang Parade from 1991-1992, I was perhaps sitting there, waiting for my mother to be done teaching a class. We probably saw each other and still, never knew what we would one day become.

Then came primary school and a total of 5 wasted years were spent not knowing each other. Both schools were separated by a single fence and we probably led very different lives. He was the haughty-totty assistant head prefect, going around carrying out orders yet afraid to lose his best friends who were particularly naughty boys (NAMELY CHEW KAY HONG..haha) and I, a goodie two-shoes prefect who carried a UPSR karangan book around to make me feel more at ease with the impending UPSR examinations. Perhaps when the children from both primary schools spilled out into their parents’ cars, we might have crossed paths, not knowing what we would one day become.

Maybe after school once, he defied his school’s communist-ish rules about not crossing over to Titian Emas and Kett Star, two extremely famous stationary shops which catered to both SRSS19 Subang Jaya and SRJK(C) Lick Hung. Perhaps he saw me choosing some stickers there while he bought an ice lolly, crossing paths again, not knowing what we would one day become.

When we finally entered the same school grounds in form1, we sort of noticed each other as how you would with most of your peers whose names you have yet to know. He knew me as that fair and skinny(ok I add myself one, but I was really all bones back then) librarian girl and I always saw a really really really tall (before everyone else had growth spurts) librarian dude with the Lee 911 hair style from the Chinese Stream. If only I knew what we would one day become.

I am however, thankful for that entire year in form2 where we knew of each other’s school-society inclinations and had more things in common to talk about (after meeting in the library while on duty early n the year). He was a die hard Leo member and I was a die hard Interactor. The on-going feud between both clubs never deterred us from being friendly to each other.

As form3 rolled around, we were both given the same projects and duties in our own clubs. We both handled the Valentine’s Project and forced each other to buy something from our respective clubs for each other. He made me buy him some candies from his club and I made him buy me a Message In A Bottle from my club. He wrote an “I love you!” on my card but I knew he was being silly back then and it really meant nothing. If only we knew what we would one day become.

We all know what happened in the middle of form3. No need for me to elaborate. For the noobs, read here.

Upon returning to form4, perhaps someone up there knows what we would become someday, we were put in the same class.

While I enjoyed him as much as I do now back in form4, I was an out right bitch to him in form5.

Over less than year, he left for Singapore to pursue his studies and I realised that I actually really do miss him.

I’ve been missing him ever since. 🙂

Which I had all those years to be around him more than what I am able to afford now.

Long distance sucks major balls.

Of Bonding Abilities

Don’t you hate it when you’re stuck in between, trying to maintain a friendly deposition just for the sake of a reputation(even more so when money is involved) even when some people take advantage of what you HAVE DONE FOR YOURSELF FOR RM150 and then try to cash in on the sudden surge in traffic by saying more than they should have/are allowed to?

Trying to sound friendly and all but so obviously trying to make small talk by questioning the quality of certain things I have in public and make very very very subtle comparisons?

Maybe the person doesn’t mean it that way.

But I should know.

Coz I’m a girl.

When You Have A Problem

There are two types of people. People who tell their friends about their problems and people who remain so mysterious about it that they start pissing you off.

It’s nobody’s fault if they choose to keep their problems shut off from the rest of the world. There is a fine line between loving your privacy and alienating the people who generally care about you. It’s like a secret group that you’re not allowed to join. It sucks to be left out.

The degree of each person’s problem differs from the other. When a friend shares his problem with you, you give him your utmost attention and purse your lips sympathetically at the right moments, nod your heads and throw in a few mmmm-mmms just to show how much you understand him. It’s not an act actually, you’re being a very good listener and everyone loves having a good listener.

Problems could come in a variety of forms from a death in the family to breakups to trivial things between classmates/housemates. Do you judge your friends on the reactions that they give you when you confide in them? A death is a death. So you broke up, life goes on. Some of them take it as part and parcel of life and just expect you to move on as if nothing ever happened. Because they don’t feel the effect, it’s probably not that big a deal for you as well.

Sure, words of comfort might pour in when your tragedy has been made known to friends far and wide. Some friends prefer not to get involved for fear of evoking more emotions in you. Is that really the makings of a good friend? To stay away from comforting a person who needs comforting the most?

You might not know what to say to a person who is going through a difficult period and so you choose not to say anything at all. This actually hurts the person more because she feels that no one really understands. She might not look like she wants to talk about her problem but it would help a tiny bit when someone gives a concerned gesture.

What are you supposed to say to a friend who is desperately grabbing onto a fleeting life of a beloved one? Do you sugarcoat your words and say that everything will be all right in the end? Can you allow yourself to spurt cliche lines after cliche lines and knowing clearly well that there is a chance that a happy ending might not happen? Are you even doing your friend a favour by telling her things that you expect a person would want to hear?

How can you say it’s okay when you’ve never been through it yourself?

Some friends will never have the courage to sit down and watch you cry.

The moment you open your mouth to spill your heart, your eyes fill up and your voice breaks – anyone would feel this natural instinct to mother you but not everyone would dare to do it. it gets awkward when a person cries. Ever notice how guy friends fall silent when you (since I’m a girl, I’ll assume that the reader is a girl) start crying? Heck, even I become silent if a friend should start crying but of course, my shoulders are always there for any of you. I do panic though when a friend cries. It’s like trying to hold up a toppling vase in vain.

There are also people who would tell the world about their problems. Like bumble bees they would fleet from flower to flower, spilling their woes as they go. I believe I am such a person. People like me just like to talk. We crave for opinions and sometimes, admittedly, prefer that the opinions are on our side. But how many times is too many? Would friends not get sick of hearing the same issue over and over?

After watching so many episodes of Sex And the City, I realised that Carrie will always have a problem that is bugging her. When the four girls talk, no matter who is talking about another problem, she will divert the attention back to her problem. She will find a way to butt in and make the lime light shine back on her. Months later, she will still be talking about the same problem over and over again.

I, for one, am no Carrie Bradshaw.

My weakness is this mouth of mine but I believe I have learned enough lessons to talk less of problems that do not belong to me.

Unlike Carrie, I don’t think that the world revolves around me. I would not repeat my problems to my friends unless they ask or if something new crops up that seriously pisses me off.

That being said, exactly what is the limit of times one can give re-runs of their problems to their friends?

The Sex And The City Movie Outing/Kwo Kuang Is SO Old/Classmates In KL/Yamcha At Daiki/Girly Night In At Sush’s

Two new posts from the Sticker Monster!

Epoxy Stickers and Sandylion Stickers!

Sush has been back from UK since July before she starts life as a working lady at a big accounting firm there and so is Mun Teng who just graduated with a marketing degree and is currently trying her luck to land her dream job. Mel is pursuing her honours and I hope she is enjoying life as a part time tutor at Monash while I slog it out another two years before I join them as self respecting working ladies who (are about to) earn their own keeps.

The rest of the Dahlings are all over the world with Abby currently with OCBC in Singapore, Amanda trying to sort out her PR application in Aussie, Liss working in China, Chien still slogging for another three years before she is a doctor (bwahhaha i become one faster than you babes), Esther graduating from her design course and at the cross roads of staying in Aussie or going to Singapore, Min Dee still very much the happy go lucky Econs student in Brisbane with the forever-dream of working in Japan, She Dee the future nutritionist in Hawaii whom I have not spoken to in the longest time…………hence the reason why they couldn’t join us for the screening of Sex And The City at The Gardens, organized by Working Girls.

With a few of us still stuck at uni while the rest embrace working life, I hope we won’t grow apart in terms of mindset as how most people do. As it is we are not up to date with the latest in each others’ lives, I just wish we can hold on to what we have and still be friends who go to the same nursing home. At least those of us who have anak-anak derhaka lah.


As mentioned in a previous post, we were supposed to go as one of the girls from SATC. I can’t remember whether Mel went as Charlotte or Miranda as she if definitely not trying to pull a Samantha. Mun Teng rebelled and went as one of the Gossip Girls. (no specifics coz I have yet to start on that series. Soon, soon.)


I went as Jolene because she’s awesome. Actually failed attempt to go as Samantha T_T. Though it wouldn’t have been a good idea because none of my clothes look like they belong to a 50 year old woman. Seriously, now that I come to think of it, her dressing though revealing, it’s like those aunties trying to be young you know?
Sush went as Carrie. It’s the exact same outfit that Carrie wore as the four girls first appear on the silver screen, strolling down the street hand-in-hand.


We love this picture so much! 😀 Mun Teng should’ve come closer though.


A better one. 🙂


Ohh! It’s not like I didn’t come in anything un-SATC related. My pink heels appeared twice in the movie! Once as Samantha’s and another time as the guy in a suit who cross dresses.


Considering that we didn’t bump into anybody we know.. most of the people there were really working, WORKING women.


After the movie, it was off to Bar 21 along Changkat Bukit Bintang, where the after party was held. We were served super strong pink Cosmopolitans. Very SATC, props for that! Though the after party involved very little mingling or maybe because we were being prudish and stuck to ourselves… but we did expect there to be more interaction between the other members of the Facebook group and ourselves.


We did what we did best anyway. A little alcohol definitely helped kick start the process – we took many silly photos that proved for hilaaariioous Facebook photo comments.


But this is a nice one. 😀


A mirror and a camera always means a photo must be taken.


Myself, Sush and Mel.


A big smile for the camera! Sure have to take picture okay, susah payah put make up all..


A kind stranger offered to help us take our photo.


Me invading Mu Teng’s personal bubble.


Then it was time for the kissy-kissy pictures.


I fail. We were trying to imitate Su-Hsien’s usual a-kiss-for-the-lens pics. This also started off the many imitations of the other Dahlings in later photos.


Why..so….sexy……………..


Why…so….uglyyy……
This was actually when Melody said can see my armpit hair and I tried to snap a photo of aforementioned armpit hair.


Melody and her cosmo.


Why my lips so small compared to Mun Teng’s?


When nobody wanted to play with me..


Sush and Mel pulling an Abby. Mel needed props coz achieving Abby’s eye diameters is no easy feat. Abby Heng, our dear friend of dinner plate eyes, melter of many hearts.


Sush you fail lah!
Mel getting Amanda ABSOLUTELY ACCURATELY. Like kena rasuk by Amanda’s spirit.


This is Chien’s usual reserved smile-pout. To which she denies.


And here you have Liss’ bright toothy grin with relaxed eye lids. Because she has small eyes(hey small eyes are beaaautiful okay. Not mine, but hers is pretty coz her lashes are thick) and when she smile they become like teddybear eyes. You know, how you can only see the blacks? Yeah, trying to achieve that they were.


Esther’s overager grin! 😀 Notice how the smile reaches up to the eyes?


LOL This is Min Dee. To which she was so very happy that we managed to imitate her. And her Facebook comment went something like:

“i’m glad you girls were thinking of me! and how wonderful to have a trademark pose!!! ehhehe pppiiiiiii~~~~ssuuuu!

V ( ^_^ ) V”


Trying to do a She Dee but failing.


Oh we were excellent Dennis Chans.
Mun Teng was happy Dennis.
I was angry Dennis. Really one, next time we take photographs to proof that he really smiles like that. Obviously the poses he reserves for stupidity in front of cameras. 😛


Me in a spurt of randomness.


Jolene is anti girl-on-girl action.


A group photo with the purpose of our outing was an absolute must.


Perhaps they shouldn’t have ordered a second drink.


Me being a jakun. It was a long island Strawberry something something.


Me and my Lycheetini. I won’t tell you what I said about it.


Just testing the waters…..nope. Still prefer to kiss men. (actually singular.)


Ahhh, the effects of the second glass.


Also can be seen how my camwhoring l33t skillz deteriorate as the alcohol level in my blood rises.


I asked Dennis to give me the face of a hero who came all the way from Subang to ferry four damsels in distress back at 2am.
More like a hamsap lou who is keen to have his way with Mun Teng.


HAHAHAHA. To those of you who know how Sush is like about photos of her, you can understand why this pic is so very very very funny and should be up on your walls to cheer you up after a bad day. Because her day was definitely much more worse when this picture went up on Facebook/Jolene’s blog.


The next night, we decided to be a little more co-ed. We had drinks with Kev and E-Guy at Republic, Sunway Pyramid.


There was a party in one of the clubs there, a 22 year old friend of a friend was celebrating her birthday there and I used the adjoining toilet and had the shock of my life. (at least in recent times.)

I knew there were trannies hired to perform at the club for the girl’s birthday (very nice somemore, the theme of the party was white and everyone came in white) and they were getting ready in the toilet.

As I came out of the toilet, all I saw was this TALLLL figure and in the middle of it, there were two big perky boobs just pointing perpendicular to the talllllll figure’s body. Very the scary. The dress she had on is something Cher would wear, but all I could think of were those boobs and how she was pushing each boob into each side of the dress. THink Jennifer Lopez’s plunging necklines. She/he had a few assistants assisting her/him. The boobs were not anything to be shy of, apparently. I guess when you want to be a woman, it’s okay to flaunt your boobs.

Jolene the girl who pretends to have an open mind strode pass her cooly and proceeded to wash her hand and didn’t stare as much as she wanted to. Very muka maintain.

When the entourage left the toilet, I turned to Mel with eyes as wide as Abby’s and she said, “I KNOW what you want to say lah.”


We later adjourned to McD’s Drive Thru in SS15 to meet Kwo Kuang.


Me not approving of his cigaretting ways.


Letting Kwo Kuang practice his camwhoring skills. My hair damn oily..argh. I spent an entire day at Cheras Leisure Mall that day and got a call from the girls at the very last minute.


Showing off my l33t dental skillz.

Fast forward one week back in SP and it was the start of my holiday in between Year 3 and Year 4. I’M GOING TO BE IN YEAR 4 SOON!! Can’t stress this is enough. Hahaha.

Here we are at Kwo Kuang’s mini-birthday gathering at The Apartment, Curve.


l-r: Soon Seng, Me (NOT SAME TOP OKAY. I sensitive to such allegations.), Kwo Kuang.

What I wore that night was actually thrown on at the very last minute. I just got back from Kedah on that day itself and to my horror I forgot my pretty electric blue Forever21 dress. I bought a baby blue tunic(the one I wore in the Republic photos) and the dress from this Lowyat seller. She takes your orders(chosen from Forever21.com) and sends them to her US address and ships it back to Malaysia. Two items inclusive of postage is about the price of one dress from a local Forever21 store. My top is like 12 USD and my dress is about 20 USD. 😀 I is happy happy happy girl. Wait no, forgot I left them back in Kedah. I is sad again.

Anyway, so I looked in my wardrobe and everything is SO over worn. I know I shouldn’t be such a stupid bimbo lah, but I can’t help it okay, when you have your mind set on wearing a certain dress, anything worn before seems to be inappropriate for the occasion.

I found this baby blue skirt I bought from Summit a year ago for RM20. Never worn before. I knew that it would be useful as a tube top one day and sure enough I used it as a tube top that night. It was paired with a brown corduroy miniskirt which Esther gave me. It’s nice to know I’m only one dress size bigger than my girls. I get pretty hand me overs. (not downs, overs.)


Most of the friends there were Kwo Kuang’s friends from Nottingham Semenyih.
I love big gatherings too because this is where I get to meet new people. That’s how the world becomes smaller and smaller.
l-r: Aaron, Josephine, Su Ann, Li-Lynn, Kwo Kuang, Chin Ju, Soon Seng, myself.


To show my appreciation for the birthday boy.


Kwo Kuang is DAMN proud of his checkered shoes. So am I of my metallic blue pumps. Damn proud.


Kwo Kuang with l-r: Weng Hoe, Melody, Ning Kang and Weng Lum.

I made a boo boo with Ning Kang. He was excited that I knew Ken who is my junior, and when you talk about Penang swimmers(he is a swimmer too) you will naturally mention/ask if one knows Nian Ning. Shouldn’t have. He was equally surprised to know that I was one of the bloggers behind the whole petition thing and shook my hand gratefully. It was a nice moment for me. 🙂


Yijin and Yen Chiew!


Weng Lum and me! I consider him one of my best guy friends although we only meet like twice a year. But we have MSN to keep us going! But even that, we don’t chat like ALL the time. Nevermind hor Weng Lum, quality over quantity kan! Weng Lum, my friends, is the oracle. You can never tell him news. He tells YOU the news.


Since the first picture is not a good one of him, I must sacrifice one photo in which I look shitty and him looking quite nice.


Chin Ju and Yiin who were the earliest SU boys there.


Kwo Kuang’s face is like, “Awwww, you shouldn’t have!” Oi bitch, your eyes smaller here okay. So small until must use tolok skru micrometer if want to fight with me.


Why is Barry scared of me? This is Standard 6 all over again!! 🙁


All we needed was Yijin to bond the two of us together.


But Yijin had his intentions.


When I looked at this photo, I got kind of lazy to name everyone but here goes:
Standing l-r: Tze Ching, Weng Hoe, Weng Lum, Zhao Heng, Terence
Sitting l-r: Aaron, Ning Kang, Melody, Josephine, Li-lynn, Johnson, Su Ann, Kwo Kuang, Lauren, Soon Seng, Me, Chin Ju, Yen Chiew, Yijin.


This was before Li-lynn left. Her half gweilo-half chinese boyfriend is damn hot! It’s very cute to see her chattering away noisily as how she usually does in perfect Manglish, and her boyfriend is so calm and british.


On top was the parazzi shot. This one is the frame-worthy one.


Okay people, Kwo Kuang and I have had the longest debate….who has smaller eyes?


l-r: Kevin, Me, E-Guy.


Tzeching and I. I look like a giant next to her. Why you so petite ah Tzeching!


The SU boys, in true SU Boys fashion, arrived at long last. To give them credit, they were held up at their respective obligations. Two of the Bukit Bintang boys (weng Hoe and Terence) looked on and said, “Even co-ed school also damn cock fest!”

LOL.


After awhile, I realised I was the only girl left.
l-r: Yijin, Chun Guan, Ji Yang, E-Guy, Me, Kevin, Kwo Kuang, Chin Ju.


l-r: Weng Hoe, Kwo Kuang (WTF WHY IS WENG HOE HUGGING YOUR WAIST AHHHHHHHH), Terence.

And here we have a little break from high school mates and their friends who became my friends.

My classmates (the North Malaysian ones) came down for a shopping trip in KL. I joined them at One Utama (of all places to shop if you’re going for variety and affordability..-___-) on Tuesday. I showed them the true meaning of shopping in KL when I drove them over to Hartamas instead. When you’re a student and your dad doesn’t shit gold, you don’t stop at One Utama. I don’t like One Utama one actually. I can never buy anything from there.


L-r: Me, sock Nee, Jimmy. Jimmy stays in Puchong, so he played host to the rest of them who came down.
This was at the Paris Hilton shop. She trying to be like Guess issit? Her bags are all so Barbie Doll-esque.


Angela and myself. Angela is also from KL. Cheras to be specific. My KL classmates are only divided into three ares in KL/KLang Valley. Subang Jaya(4 of us), Cheras (3) and TTDI(3).


Stolen shot with Pei Zhi before the Vincci buy told us off for snapping photos. Can’t stand shopkeepers who tell us off for taking photos at their premises.


Playing the (shopping)devil’s advocate, I introduced the wonderful world of Hartamas boutiques to the girls.


The boys would cheer whenever they see a stool for husbands/boyfriends in each boutique.


From Cats Whiskers. Yep, I bought it.


You can’t really see the print of the smock here but I really like it.


Good hair day!


After playing tour guide to my classmate, it was time to meet Delene aka Ah Sou. Must show respect okay, it is our tai lou Adrian’s girlfriend. 🙂 Have heard so much about her over the past three years and only now I get to meet her. Whose fault is it ah Adrian?


The other couple. Inside joke, inside joke.


Main kayu tiga one this Yijin. That’s Yen Chiew.


Who is the lousy photographer! Tell me!! I look strangely fair…with a patch of foundation gone from my forehead…. I think I look like the Joker. Awesome.


This is Foong.


And here are some cute photos of Angels to relax your eyes a bit. Taken after her bath.


I promised her a snack and so she turned to look at me.


She looks like she have given up on her struggles.


On Thursday night we had a long deserved night in at Sush’s place for champagne and some pastries which she conjured up in her kitchen. Here’s Mun Teng being very impressed with the date of the champagne. 1988 wei! Older than my brother!


Melody spasticking.


Cannot beat my spasticness lah Mel.


Kwo Kuang and I should have an open eyes big big competition. Winner of our long standing argument can easily be identified that way.


While propping the camera on the chair, I stepped on something wet and didn’t move as Sush went to get a cloth.


The four dahlings having a quiet night in. Full of hamsap jokes and stupidity.


Mel showing how awesome she is after pulling out the cork.


I’m all “Yeah Mel whatever”.


Why Mun Teng’s face so sad.


She looks damn fierce if she doesn’t smile, right?!


I must have been asking for Sush to top op. Mel’s like, “She’s had too much.”


Nice photo! It’s very nice to have something decent when every other photo is just so embarrassingly stupid and funny.


Another case of giantism from me. Gah.


Sush’s efforts!


The champagne goes in for maximum poserness.


Hahahahaha..Mun teng doesn’t look like Mun Teng anymore.


And this is Li-Hsien, Sush’s sister.


Foong is damnnnnn funny one. He makes me laugh like a hyena and then I regret it later for looking super unladylike.


After the third or fourth glass, I was eating chestnuts and dumped one in. When they asked, “JO!! Whatever for?” and I replied, “Have you not heard of olives?”


Oh, I need to apologize to Dennis who emoed that he was not ‘chi mui’ enough to be included in the girly night in. I had no idea it wasn’t and that Foong was coming! Bad Foong! *puts hands on hips*


Forgot what they were laughing about..


Must’ve been quite funny.


Even my Thursday self also didn’t know what was so funny.


Out came the gorilla pod. And here is Mel who is horny/a unicorn. Then at the side is that thing you saw in your nightmares.


Foong educating us.


Varieties in life.


Lucky bitch.

Serious medical condition.


Mun Teng and I being hiau pors as usual. So what’s new eh?


OH! OH! This was another stupid moment where I tried to stuff five chestnuts into my mouth. Rule #1: Chestnuts must be visible!


Trying realllly hard.


Great success! I love this photo even though I’m sure I look quite mad.


Foong found Li-Hsien’s BM notebook and wrote an essay on the last page.


If you can’t read, I’ll type it out for you:

” ‘Saya Sebatang Pen’ Oleh Foong

Pada suatu hari, saya rasa sungguh sejuk. Dimanakah saya berada? Saya tidak tahu kenapa kelilingku sungguh gelap. Tetapi says rasa sebelah saya sama seperti saya. Eh? Kenapa? Adakah saya di dalam neraka? Syurga? Tidak!

Tiba-tiba, ada cahaya yang cerah sampai saya hampir buta. Saya sengar suara manusia. Ohhh….saya terkejut dan ink terpancut keluar. Ohhhh….rasa sungguh mewah.

Oh, saya boleh baca atas badan saya ada tulisan. Saya bernama, “Recycle Wood’.

Terima Kasih.”

My advice to Sush’s sister is to tear out the page as soon as as possible later kena sent to the discipline teacher for writing erotic stories.


I made Mun Teng do the Happy Dennis face again. Damn cute right!


Love Dick!


When Mun Teng punch people she damn stone one.


I look like a dog and Mun Teng is like a fierce owner.

Okay, goodnight. Very very very late. Like 6am late.