I’ll probably have no friends left after putting this entry up.
On wednesday, Brenda and I went to Tesco to have some good ol’ KFC. Lovely chicken, they have always been.
We then went into Tesco because she wanted to get some stationary for the new academic year. I went off on my own to buy a new tv ariel, a couple of mathematical box sets(we need it for tooth carving next week!) and an adapter.
While browsing through the tv ariels, I felt this intense pain in my stomach.
I HATE it when this happens. It justÂ comes suddenly and totally knots my tummy up. I had to go the bathroom immediately.
I found Brenda at the tissue department, dumped my things in her trolley and told her, “Wei, stomach ache. Cannot tahan..You wait for me here ok? Very fast one!”
Then she said, “Harh!? Why suddenly one???”
I told her, “Happens lah.” and grabbed a 12-pack toilet roll (tesco value!) and ran off to the counter, leaving a laughing Brenda behind.
The tissue paper was RM2.99. The guy took his time to work his cash register. He punched a few buttons on the cash register, waited for the cash register to er..register, rang the cash register and picked out ONE CENT from the cash box and tore the receipt and handed it to me. I was in absolute pain.
So I walked briskly to the toilet which was like, 50metres away.
I felt a gurgle in my tummy and then a dull intensified pain.
Perhaps a fart would do me good. It always makes me feel better. Lessen the tension in the tummy.
Alright. So i farted.
…. somehow, the fart wouldn’t stop.
Imagine my horror ok?
It was no longer a fart. It just went on and on and I had to stop myself!
I grabbed on to my ass, just in case anything falls out and covered my ass with the huge pack of toilet roll just so that the public can be saved from the gruesome sight that was my …er colourised pants.
Somemore I was wearing that damn short stripey shorts that I wore in the pic in the post below. DAmnit!
So I continued walking LIKE THAT all the way to the toilet, not giving a shit(haha!) to how I must’ve looked – hands cupping the ass, toilet roll held behind.
I burst into the cubicles(and that was not the only thing that burst). Luckily for me I’ve got a plastic bag after buying that large packet of toilet roll.
Thank god it wasn’t much as it was mostly water. And water gets absorbed.
Yes, thank you for being my friend. Have a good life.
I had to sms Brenda.
My next message.
her next reply. My savior!!
I HAD to tell Lie Yuen what happened. It was too funny not to. This was meant to be read in the most monotonous tone one can ever muster. You know? Like deadpanning.
Hahahaha. How we laughed when we came home.
“So you throwed away your old panties and your shorts?” Brenda asked as we were leaving tesco.
“Er… it’s too pretty to throw away. I can’t possibly find another pair of stripey shorts. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put it in a plastic bag and hung it on the side of your car door..” I said sheepishly.
“O_o!! Cha tou!” was Brenda’s reply.
And it didn’t fly off as we were driving. I went home and washed it straight away and it’s damn clean okay.
Now, do I still have friends left?! You know Jolene, always telling her stupid stories to make people happy, right right right?