A Happy Woman’s Narcissism Must Be Beared

Sometimes a woman gets too emotional for her own good.

She picks up the phone and does silly things to bring confusion to everyone involved. Unneccesary heartaches.

If you don’t understand, try having your period while you are living alone away from home and everyone and everything that matter to you.

The poor unassuming boyfriend takes the shit she lashes out.

Sorry dear, I promise to stop my emoness.

He picked me up all the way from Pudu Raya on Thursday night to save me the hassle of taking the train back with a bottle of water and a snack bar, knowing very well what I need after 5 hours of ass-pimple-producing journey. I love you for that dear. 🙂

After long talks, a long supper, a walk under a 3am night sky near our old primary schools(he was from Lick Hung, I was from SRSS19. Two schools situated side by side. Yet we never knew each other till secondary school.) hand in hand..


I came home to find this on my bed and felt so happy because I love little surprises. 🙂 Little meaningful surprises.

Two mornings later, I was awoken by a stranger outside my house. I went out with just-out-of-bed hair, unbrushed teeth and old volleyball school jersey with shorts to peer sleepily at the gate.


Thank you dear. Thank you so much. You needn’t have to. 🙂 You had me at “Happy Wesak Day”. 😀 Wonder what the florist must’ve thought.


That perhaps you’re crazy to send something so sweet on a religious day.


It made my day. My week, my month….haha,enough to sustain me till I see you again.


I’ve been very petty for the past few weeks. But something bigger cropped up and I’m not going to stand in the way. He got an ASEAN scholarship to do Biological Science in NTU, Singapore. All he needs to do is pass this Thursday’s interview, and he’ll be there in August. A 3 years course with a 3 years bond with the Singapore government.


One.

And me? I have 4 more years here in Kedah. Another 3 years with the government and god knows where they will post me to.


Two.

As for now, the plan to do our government posting together has been scraped since he won’t be graduating as a pharmacist in Malaysia.


Three.

Embarking on another period of long distance relationship. The minimum amount of years would be about 7 – 8 years.


Four.

I’ll be 26 or 27 years old or more before I know what it’s like to have something most of you have everyday.


Five.

=) He made me see that all hope is not lost. As we’ll co-ordinate our schedules to see each other often enough.


Six.

Two weeks. Two buses. North of Malaysia. South of Malaysia.


Seven.

I will miss him. 😐


Eight.

No one should stand in the way of anybody’s education.


Nine.

Because even if you promise someone Forever, things can still turn around and break away.


Ten.

It’s still bad, but at least it’s only Singapore and Malaysia.


Eleven.

And my mum said I can visit him in Singapore whenever. 😀


Twelve.

I’ll probably appeal and appeal to the government to send me to Johor after I graduate.


Here’s to us, cheers:)


Why can’t roses stay soft, sweet smelling and pretty forever?


=) Another bouquet to stand the wear of time.


l-r: Valentine’s Day bouquet from him back in form4(2002), Valentine’s Day Bouquet from him back in form5(2003). Yes, I have dead things in my room that’s about 4 years and 3 years old. LOL.I swear if you flick the roses, they’ll break into powder form and fall to the floor. I should have kept last year’s Valentine’s Day bouquet. Too bad my mum made me put it into a vase and it decomposed. ;(

Shiling

To all of you who knows Shi Ling, she passed away just now at 11pm+. As sudden as it may seem to you, it was definitely a shock to me..
When I came from Pyramid at 5pm today, mum said that Shiling was very weak. She scared me to bits when I tried to put her on the floor but she just crashed onto the floor. Her legs were to weak to hold her up. Her tongue was actually lolling out..
We rushed her to the vet in SS18 near Etika Jaya.. but the doctor said again, that she was anemic..like last time.. since the birth of her puppies till now, she’s been in a horrible shape.. but we thought that after the medication she’d be fine. But how would I know she was actually deteriorating all this while? It was only tomorrow that they could find a blood donor and that she needed to get her blood type checked before anything else could be done.. and as it was 15 minutes to closing time.. the doctor said that she may not survive through the night.. it was heartbreaking… wrenching even..
So we brought her home with some nutrien food that we were supposed to syringe into her mouth.

But the truth is, she hasn’t been eating well recently.. I don’t know if it’s because of Bubble who steals her food all the time.. but she just hasn’t had the appetite.

 From 8pm her condition got worse and worse as she kept gasping for air in a very scary way… plus the fact that I had a number of visitors over for cny.. and my brother was crying loudly…what a timing. … After a long while of syringing her with nutrien food and water to moist her nose and lips… we just let her be alone for awhile.. and her eyes was blinking a little everytime i look at her.. just like letting me know she’s not dead yet.. Then at 10.30pm my mum and bro went out to look for glucose water..So I stayed by her side.. and I started to sing to her Beautiful Girl..she was just having this little gulps of air by then..then it all slowed down…. as i stroke the softest fur on her body.. which was on her ears.. I don’t know exactly when she died.. but after a long while..she just stopped moving…

Now she’s covered and left in the back of the house.. mum will ask the vet what we can do tomorrow.. where to bury..etc.

I miss Shiling so much. She’s the most understanding dog that I’ve ever owned. At least she comes when I call.. and she loves to jump up on the couch.. but when she was pregnant she couldn’t jump up because she was too heavy. And she loved to squeeze out through the diamond shaped grill to go and have a pee or poo… but when she was pregnant she sometimes got stuck and we used to joke about how  the babies will all come out deformed and clumped together in a diamond shape.
She was so tame.. she’d let me make her dance to all the themesongs on tv while I watched the shows and when i held her hands she’d kneel down on  the floor and i’d put her hand together and shake it up and down as if she’s praying or something. And she never smiled… as in opened her mouth and pant pant pant.. she was always tight-lipped and mum and I always made jokes about how she was so grumpy and moody all the time.
I still remember meeting her for the first time ever in the petshop. she was soo adorable..sitting on this huge cage awaiting her bath.. we found out that her owner didn’t want her.. and that she costs rm200. Seeing how adorable she was, we brought her back.. If only I didn’t bring her back.. She’d still be alive.

i miss her so much..