Jolene Lai Lai Si

I’ll probably have no friends left after putting this entry up.

On wednesday, Brenda and I went to Tesco to have some good ol’ KFC. Lovely chicken, they have always been.

We then went into Tesco because she wanted to get some stationary for the new academic year. I went off on my own to buy a new tv ariel, a couple of mathematical box sets(we need it for tooth carving next week!) and an adapter.

While browsing through the tv ariels, I felt this intense pain in my stomach.

I HATE it when this happens. It just comes suddenly and totally knots my tummy up. I had to go the bathroom immediately.

I found Brenda at the tissue department, dumped my things in her trolley and told her, “Wei, stomach ache. Cannot tahan..You wait for me here ok? Very fast one!”

Then she said, “Harh!? Why suddenly one???”

I told her, “Happens lah.” and grabbed a 12-pack toilet roll (tesco value!) and ran off to the counter, leaving a laughing Brenda behind.

The tissue paper was RM2.99. The guy took his time to work his cash register. He punched a few buttons on the cash register, waited for the cash register to er..register, rang the cash register and picked out ONE CENT from the cash box and tore the receipt and handed it to me. I was in absolute pain.

So I walked briskly to the toilet which was like, 50metres away.

I felt a gurgle in my tummy and then a dull intensified pain.

Perhaps a fart would do me good. It always makes me feel better. Lessen the tension in the tummy.

Alright. So i farted.

…. somehow, the fart wouldn’t stop.

Imagine my horror ok?

It was no longer a fart. It just went on and on and I had to stop myself!

I grabbed on to my ass, just in case anything falls out and covered my ass with the huge pack of toilet roll just so that the public can be saved from the gruesome sight that was my …er colourised pants.

Somemore I was wearing that damn short stripey shorts that I wore in the pic in the post below. DAmnit!

So I continued walking LIKE THAT all the way to the toilet, not giving a shit(haha!) to how I must’ve looked – hands cupping the ass, toilet roll held behind.

I burst into the cubicles(and that was not the only thing that burst). Luckily for me I’ve got a plastic bag after buying that large packet of toilet roll.

Thank god it wasn’t much as it was mostly water. And water gets absorbed.

Yes, thank you for being my friend. Have a good life.

I had to sms Brenda.


first message


second message


third message


Brenda’s reply.


My next message.


her next reply. My savior!!


Hehehe.


I HAD to tell Lie Yuen what happened. It was too funny not to. This was meant to be read in the most monotonous tone one can ever muster. You know? Like deadpanning.


Hahahaha. How we laughed when we came home.

“So you throwed away your old panties and your shorts?” Brenda asked as we were leaving tesco.

“Er… it’s too pretty to throw away. I can’t possibly find another pair of stripey shorts. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put it in a plastic bag and hung it on the side of your car door..” I said sheepishly.

“O_o!! Cha tou!” was Brenda’s reply.


And it didn’t fly off as we were driving. I went home and washed it straight away and it’s damn clean okay.

Now, do I still have friends left?! You know Jolene, always telling her stupid stories to make people happy, right right right?

Merdeka And Some Alcohol

I had some pitiful plans planned for Merdeka eve.

I was supposed to carry it all by my lonesome. For a couple of years now I’ve been wanting to catch the fireworks(which is at Sunway Pyramid) from the overhead bridge near my old school. It has got a pretty good view of the entire Sunway area! Or even sitting at the steep slope of grass at the corner of my school compound would have been a romantic idea – problem is my boyfriend is running around a round-a-bout in NUS 49 times to commemorate Merdeka with the other Malaysians in Singapore. -_-. Nus tradition apparently.

But it seems that Bryan was having a mini gathering, so I had to shelf the fireworks from a bridge plan for another year.(provided I have plans for this year’s New Year eve).


Penny and I were supposed to go together, but due to some miscommunication, I ended up in Jasiminne’s car and we followed Penny down to SS2. Then Jasiminne ter-overtook Penny and then we got lost. -_- For awhile.


I keep thinking that Bryan’s underwear is like a dick-sock of sorts. Oh, you know the type. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll try my best to explain in the comments later.


Penny made extremely sweet cupcakes. Damn sweet wei Penny..


Jasiminne was going around with her new Lomocam.


And I finally got to meet Asyraf. At long last!


Rightt.


Yee Hou and I camwhoring with the fishies.


Cheryl has the exact same earring as me.


Kelli and I. When I was with Chee Kiang at the Curve on saturday night, we bumped into her, cheryl and bryan. Seems that chee kiang knows kelli since their leo club days. Oooo! .. But alah, Subang Jaya know each other also no big deal lah. Haha. We’re all connected!


Ivan. I’m supposed to guestblog for you kan..:( Coming soon, coming soon. Don’t give up on me.


Albert and his two lower deciduous central incisors. The permanent central incisors never erupted. Strange boy, he is.


Hey, that’s me.


Why, hello there~. 😉


Another pic of Cheryl and I.


LOL LOL LOL!!! Angle only…


See Penny’s face like naik syok only.


SO cute!!! Wanna take a guess who’s the girl ar?


Kelli and I reenacted our raping Bryan scene. Damn nice to pull his pants. But he tied his pants so tightly.

Someone started to make drinks for everyone and I had like Bacardi, Chivas, Wine and Beer….. i think. Already it doesn’t sound like good news right? Read on lah.


I can’t remember who suggested we took class photos. Hahhaa. Damn funny.


A prim and proper one.


Someone said to Penny, “Oi!! Where got teacher smoke one??” and then she said, “I AM MRS. WONG! The school principal!” and she took a big puff like damn tow kei like that. I laughed so hard. Still laughing now actually. Penny,penny,penny. You should have seen the expression on her face.. so authoritative! Tai ka cheh! *shakes head*


HAHA. Damn red.

Kelli thought us a game called “the Honest game”. We all sat in a circle with a drink in our hands. We were each supposed to admit to something ie. “I’m not wearing a bra today.”…then those who are not wearing a bra, will have to drink. Guys also don’t wear bras right? So it’s applicable too. So it goes on in a circle with each person admitting to some secret of sorts. QUite fun!

The things we got to learn about each other……..*evil laugh* Some of you are very naughty indeed. Very naughty.


Seng Meng and i! He was also damn red. I think you were abit tipsy, Seng Meng! 🙂


ooo!! Oo!! Mikel!! When I first started blogging, he was one of my very very first blogging friends. I dare say even the first blogger friend that I have.

You can see from the look on my face that I was abit red and not quite myself. It’s all in the eyes, look closer.

I went up to him and said, “Mikel!!! I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and hugged him tight tight and camwhored with him immediately. And like I have mentioned, I would never have done that if I didn’t have anything to drink. I don’t get all touchy-feely when I first meet a person. So not me.


l-r: Mikel, Slinky, Shawn, Yee Hou, Jack


Look at Yee hou!! HAHAahahaha.


Jasiminne and I


Penny and Mikel


Our gracious host.


Sherve and I! Such a hot chick!


LOL! Check out the faces! Yo penny!


Another one of Sherve and I.


Joh… memang weird adi.


Check out Yee Hou’s lips. It’s like the centre is connected to each other leaving two holes at the sides. Heehee.


hehehe. Damn hiau por face.


And I climbed up the wall which separates Bryan from his neighbours and sat there.


Yee Hou and Cynthia


I was then joined by Jasiminne and Penny.


One more.


wooops. See, told you I was wayyyy off tangent. I’m very very very straight, for the record. No hint of bi-ness in me. I’m sure it was the alcohol. *nods vigorously*


Not missing a photo opportunity, that Albert. -_-


I love this photo. I don’t know why, but the lighting is just so dramatic in this one.


L-r: Shawn, Ivan and Calvin


l-r: jasiminne, me, Shawn, Ivan and Calvin


Penny and I lying on the hood of someone’s car.


shawn and i

After a vague and foggy drive back to Subang(thanks Jasiminne!), I met up with Mun Teng, Ben Shyen, Sze Hsiung, his sister Jennifer, David and Kelvin Lim at Suku.

Apparently they also decided to go up a bridge to catch the Sunway fireworks and so we adjourned to the overhead bridge in SS15.

I remember being deep in conversation with Sze Hsiung and he was very friendly to me …in fact very layan as I tried my best to keep a straight head. Ehehe, thanks for  layaning me despite my slightly weird…weirdness.

ben Shyen and I. See my eyes wei…see my eyes. So…pelik.


Mun Teng came in.


top l-r: Ben Shyen, Mun Teng, Jennifer, Kelvin
bottom l-r: Me, David, Sze Hsiung


Another cuter one! I think Jennifer looks really hot here! Reminds me of Adrian’s girlfriend, Delene. Speaking of Delene, I was watching Sush’s uni’s Malaysian Night Video and Mun Teng and I were drooling over Delene’s body.

*whacks Adrian on the head* You lucky bastard!! (and good luck for your anatomy paper today.)


Why lah Ben Shyen never smile….


Kelvin and I! He was showing me a pic of him in which he used to have pink hair on top of those blonde spikes.

I went back home and went online and must’ve spoke alot of crap on MSN.

I vaguely remember taking my hands and pretending that my keyboard was Mahjong tiles.

the effect ended up looking like that:

kslajdiuhiuehr734y23475dsf;dsf”;dds345$#%3$%./;d1~1Dg

I felt really sick when I went home. I honestly can’t really recall what I crapped on on MSN that night.

So imagine the laughs I had when I opened my chat history a few days later. Hahahhaha. Now you can laugh with me too.

I know I caused Esther and Chee Kiang to call me all the way from Australia and Singapore. LOL.

I cried on the phone to Chee Kiang and wailed that I was hungry and nobody wants to cook for MEeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeeeee….

Gees. *shakes head*



See, even booze also spell wrongly. sheesh.

LOL, oklah, don’t know about you guys, but I didn’t remember parts of the conversation so I really burst out laughing here and there. Hahaha.

I know my so called drunk experience is not much. Crying, making out with a girl, not walking straight, manja-ing, puking twice and being random and crude is NOTHING…but cut me some slack lah, I’ve been couped up in Kedah and hardly get to go OUt anD AboUt.. so……..this is still something different for me.

Happy Merdeka!

I wonder what our forefathers would be thinking if they know that their great granchildren celebrate the country’s independence by getting high. Hehe.

Oh! Oh! I was checking my statcounter last night… and I went WTF!!!!!! when I saw this:

Like what exactly was going on in the person’s head who googled MY name, Douglas Lim’s name, and KLPAC????

?!???!?!??!?