For the past one year, my facebook feeds have been heading in a different, previously unchartered direction.
Every morning I wake up to shocking (but delightful) news that who and who just got engaged, accompanied by a few hundred likes and an entire page of comments. Months later the pre wedding shoots would follow, resulting in another torrent of likes and comments. Somehow the prewedding photographs make it that little bit more official.
I realized that a lot of those who are getting engaged/married are about around the 1989-1985 age group. Somehow the 1984 are only starting to get married now, them being about 27 seems just about right. A friend echoed my sentiments recently and he, being born in 1984, noticed the trend too.
He also said that those who were born before 1984, seemed to get married at a more conventional age of 27-30.
Only a few years back, when wedding bells were heard, we would nudge each other knowingly, looking forward to a baby to play with soon. And most of the time, we were right. 😉
But now, almost everyone in a relationship for more than two years are tying the knot!
It’s just funny how come those born on or after 1985 are choosing to get married earlier than those who were born before 1985. Another friend mentioned that it could be because those born after 1985 somehow wants to have it all at a young age. Impatient and impulsive. Do you think so?
I know a lot us in this age group need to get married for a variety of reasons. There is the dreaded government posting which a lot of people in the medical and education field have to work around, to secure a preferred state by getting hitched. Sometimes, this method doesn’t even work. Then I hear there are the more religious ones who are getting married because they want to stay together. *shifty eyes*
And then there are those like me, who have been in a really really long relationship. I know of many other couples like that, couples who have grown up with us, as a couple. Also not getting married anytime soon. We have plans, yes. But nothing official. Mainly because we have things to sort out like savings, an idea of where we really really want to be and how are we going to afford a nice wedding. How do people do it? Maybe most of those who are in long term relationships from high school/college are stuck in the mindset that we are still ‘young’. Thus continuously believing that it’s not the right time, we are not done with what what we need as individuals etc etc.
But high school sweethearts aside (most of those that I know who have been together as long as us, are still dating too. Nothing announced.), a lot of the people who are about our age are getting engaged and some have even had their weddings.
I don’t know.. it’s just a little mind boggling for me. Trying quite hard not to be influenced by peer pressure (I can admit it okay! I’m Jolene Lai. Not shy!) and constantly reminding ourselves that when we’re ready, we’re ready because we are. Not because everyone else is. 🙂 Honestly, every single posting that I go to, the nurses there will ask me when am I getting married (once they found out that I’m living in sin). I openly tell people at work that I’m here in JB with my boyfriend and that we’re living together. For some, it’s a foreign concept, a sacrilege! But like being gay, society has to start accepting somehow that there are people doing things differently from their norm.
I know this way of life is pushing it but there were times when I wondered what if I ever get knocked up before tying the knot. Firstly dad will kill me. LOL. But that aside, we all know the direction we are heading to. We are everything but short of a document to be man and wife. Mum once said that if something like that was to happen, then we should fast fast plan for the wedding. I had the craziest idea though – I thought that it would be a good case study for society to observe how it is perfectly okay for an unmarried woman to go around being pregnant and take her own sweet time to plan the wedding and even fit in a slimming program to be svelte before the big day. It would also be so awesome to have the kid around.
Sure, relatives will probably be shocked and flock around to gossip about me. But if more people can do this, why not? It will slowly become normal. Like how shot gun marriages are so normal now. Nothing shocking about it.
Actually, at our age, shot gun marriage is also sort of a blessing because then you’ll have a date to work around instead of not knowing when you want to get hitched.
I know a lot of parents still shake their heads at the idea of their daughter getting knocked up before marriage.
In my opinion, there are only three bad knocked-up scenarios:
1) The kid is still schooling. High school, college or university. All bad. I think I can give some leeway to final year students at uni. Heh.
2) The husband to be is a wifebeater/womanizer/an unambitious sloth living on his future wife’s money
3) The father of the child is not your boyfriend
4) The father of the child doesn’t want to be your boyfriend anymore lol
So for people who are in long term, stable relationships, it is OKAY. I don’t know. Anybody want to pick a bone with me?
Sigh, think I digressed too far. Well. #justsaying.
Anyway, congratulations to all my friends who are getting married this year and next year! 😀