So I was sitting on a magnificent throne wearing an equally magnificent cloak.
I had on a magnificent crown studded with jewels of the rarest kind. One of my servant girls came up to me and used her knuckles and rapped against my crown.
*Kong kong kong.* “Your majesty, is that real?”
I was annoyed. So I just said, “yes lah yes lah.”
She continued knocking. I could not do anything but just sat there and let her knock somemore. The knocking continued on and on and on and on…..
I was getting very annoyed and suddenly – I opened my eyes and found myself staring at my ceiling.
There were some fucking kids in the backyard hitting the cement stairs with a metal rod AND WOKE ME UP FROM MY SLEEP AT 11.30am. (I slept at 7.30am..)
I was so angry, I opened my windows and yelled,
“HOI!!! BISINGÂ LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The kids looked up at me, stunned.
I sounded so gruff and scared myself even. I sounded like a man. A man who does hard labour work. Like a drunken man who is jobless. A jobless drunken man. A jobless drunken man who has not been having sex. .. Wait, a jobless drunken man who has not been having sex with two paralysed arms. (He would be a quadriplegiac. But that would involve the legs as well. Hmm. Poor thing.)
I glared at them and flip the windows back up with a loud slam.
Annoying right? You’re sleeping and some monkey goes to YOUR backyard and takes a metal rod and hits the fucking cement stairs. Nobody likes the sound of hitting metal reverberating up to one’s room whilst one is sleeping.
But then again, I am not alone. Barry did a much better job at showing a kid his place in the real world.