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Happy Be-Mean-To-An-Annoying-Kid Week!

Posted on July 7, 2006 by Jolene

So I was sitting on a magnificent throne wearing an equally magnificent cloak.

I had on a magnificent crown studded with jewels of the rarest kind. One of my servant girls came up to me and used her knuckles and rapped against my crown.

*Kong kong kong.* “Your majesty, is that real?”

I was annoyed. So I just said, “yes lah yes lah.”

She continued knocking. I could not do anything but just sat there and let her knock somemore. The knocking continued on and on and on and on…..

*kongkongkongkongKONGKONGKONGKONG!!!!!!!!*

I was getting very annoyed and suddenly – I opened my eyes and found myself staring at my ceiling.

*kongkongKONGKONGKONGKONGGGG!!*

There were some fucking kids in the backyard hitting the cement stairs with a metal rod AND WOKE ME UP FROM MY SLEEP AT 11.30am. (I slept at 7.30am..)

I was so angry, I opened my windows and yelled,

“HOI!!! BISING LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The kids looked up at me, stunned.
I sounded so gruff and scared myself even. I sounded like a man. A man who does hard labour work. Like a drunken man who is jobless. A jobless drunken man. A jobless drunken man who has not been having sex. .. Wait, a jobless drunken man who has not been having sex with two paralysed arms. (He would be a quadriplegiac. But that would involve the legs as well. Hmm. Poor thing.)

Serious.

I glared at them and flip the windows back up with a loud slam.

Annoying right? You’re sleeping and some monkey goes to YOUR backyard and takes a metal rod and hits the fucking cement stairs. Nobody likes the sound of hitting metal reverberating up to one’s room whilst one is sleeping.

But then again, I am not alone. Barry did a much better job at showing a kid his place in the real world.

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