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I Will Bite Your Head If You Don’t Serve Me My Food

Posted on June 18, 2006 by Jolene

Sometimes you feel like burning down a certain eatery due to sheer stupidity on the restaurant’s part.

On desperate days, Lie Yuen and I would head over to the hospital next to my university for lunch. (the food in the cafeteria was said to be SO bad that the students would head over to the hospital in throngs.) As you enter the cafe, you are greeted by an overwhelming stench of ammonia. You wave your hands and think, “Oh eww…why so near toilet one?”

But no. It’s NOT the toilet. It’s the combined smell of stale buffet, malay style.(meaning you get fried-to-powder-form fried fish, floppy tau foo, limp veggies floating around in yellow liquid which I assume is the gravy. The only good thing about such a ‘spread’ would be the presence of sinfully fried chicken. Even fried egg would do the trick for me. But no. Everything is curry this curry that, sambal this sambal that …and don’t forget they all smell of ammonia!

The rice is placed in a big container with a scoop for all the hands in the world..doctors, nurses, janitors, students, lecturers, pharmacists, people who like to shit and never wash their hands, people who dig their nose and leave their boogers within their fingernails, sick people(it’s a hospital, duh)…to touch.

The only thing edible from the cafe would be off the menu. Fine. So we called for Mihun Soup. TAK MAU CHILLI.

It came half an hour later(at least it came). I poked my tongue into the soup out to assess the situation.

FUCKANATHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate it that when I am hungry, I only have something spicy to eat.

THE ONLY TIME I EVER EAT SPICY FOOD IS WHEN I AM BEING POLITE AND ALL MUHIBBAH-ISH. (only force myself to eat spicy stuff during Deepavali and Hari Raya open houses. PR skills, you know.)

Okay, maybe otak-otak is the only other spicy food I can tahan.

My mood was seriously damn bad already because it took SO long to come and they couldn’t even get the damn order right.

I know that people in the FnB line get all the shit thrown at them. What? Forgive them because they are busy and it’s not easy to be in FnB?

The management ought to be sliced with the kitchen knife. You can’t even get me my mihun soup when I am the ONLY customer in the smelly cafe. A rempit stands behind the counter, tying bags of milo ice for what seemed like half an hour.

I demanded an exchange. He said okay.

15 minutes later, still nothing.

I said, “Kalau belum masak, saya tak mau ya.”(If it’s not cooked, I’m not taking it yea)

His reply?

“Okay.”

WHAT THE HELL???????????????????

How can you be so nonchalant about orders? ARGH ARGH I HATE BAD SERVICE.

My period hormones went into overdrive and I dashed out the door…and went around looking for food. The canteen usually has chinese food. I saw some before heading over to the bloody hospital. When I went back , NOTHING was left.

You know the feeling when nothing goes your way and you feel that frustration bubbling up, threatening to become tears? Yeah.

I had no lunch. I felt so sorry for myself. I was going to go hungry. 🙁

Before the tears could spill, I grabbed a loaf of bread from the counter and didn’t engage in my usual I-angrily-stare-cock-at-you-because-you’re-angrily-staring-cock-back-at-me with the canteen aunty because I simply had no energy to be a bitch.

I was very very very sad. It’s so pityful to eat bread for lunch you know. 🙁

My classmates noticed that I was about to cry and they stayed away from me. Must have looked pretty weird to them when they saw an angry and tearful Jolene cursing under her breath, swiping out a camera to camwhore.


I felt like crying somemore when I forgot to buy kaya for my bread.

🙁 🙁 🙁

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