I’m Just Thankful That There Weren’t Any Stains

I was at the grocery shop yesterday, wanting to top up my hand phone credit. I went up to the counter and there was a rather big middle aged guy standing in front of me, speaking in quite a loud voice. You can tell from the tone of his voice that he was quite rude and is not very courteous which means a lack of education.

SUDDENLY, he reached behind and rolled up his shirt like a sweaty Ah Pek. He must’ve felt hot or something. BUT I THINK MY EYEBALLS POPPED OUT WHEN HE ROLLED UP HIS SHIRT.

His ass was hanging over his jeans which was clearly too small for a middle aged man like him. I could see more than half his butt crack and the butt meat was so … …meaty that I felt like prodding it with my finger in curiosity.

But I can’t believe he was so oblivious towards the fact that his ass was for the world to see! Sure, I’ve seen young girls with less than pretty ass cracks exposed. But not of over sized middle aged man. This is definitely a first.

I have never felt so disturbed in a long, long time.

Just imagine if I could see suspicious brown stains………….

I wanted to take a photo with my hand phone camera but didn’t want to get beaten up in the process. So I just made a mental snapshot of it and made use of my hidden talents as a comic artist:-

I know I’m not that slim and my legs are strange. Shadap.

…you know what, I think I deduced something else after reanalyzing the situation. …… all I can say is that I hope it’s because his underwear was pulled down together with his tight tight jeans.

Oh! I had a well deserved afternoon nap today and I dreamt that my entire family went to Penang for another visit. But this time, we got separated and I ended up in a safari in Penang.

I was following the safari guide around and then I saw a few animals. There was this LOA(Lack Of Attention) fox that sat cutely in the middle of the pathway. It was rather small. I went closer and I could hear the fox muttering to anybody who would listen, “Saya anjing yang comel, saya anjing yang comel.”

I was so amused that I searched for my camera, hoping to take a video of it to put up on youtube! It’s not everyday that I get to see a talking fox with an identity crisis!

But the bunch of animals started moving away and they made their way to a coffee shop (because it’s in Penang..hahaha) and the talking fox sat on a table and continued with its little phrase while the other woodland animals scurried about. I was preparing to take a shot of the talking fox when this great big Narnia-like Lion roared behind the fox. Then the caretaker tried to calm the lion down and made it walk around the coffee shop. The Narnia-like Lion got on its feet, passed a pillar and became the Paddle Pop Lion and people were still running about, scared of the lion.

…and then I woke up.(I’m sure there were many other weird things in between but I can’t recall)

Clearly some brain damage has occurred over here. Bzzt bzzt.