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I’m Just Thankful That There Weren’t Any Stains

Posted on July 4, 2007February 8, 2008 by Jolene

I was at the grocery shop yesterday, wanting to top up my hand phone credit. I went up to the counter and there was a rather big middle aged guy standing in front of me, speaking in quite a loud voice. You can tell from the tone of his voice that he was quite rude and is not very courteous which means a lack of education.

SUDDENLY, he reached behind and rolled up his shirt like a sweaty Ah Pek. He must’ve felt hot or something. BUT I THINK MY EYEBALLS POPPED OUT WHEN HE ROLLED UP HIS SHIRT.

His ass was hanging over his jeans which was clearly too small for a middle aged man like him. I could see more than half his butt crack and the butt meat was so … …meaty that I felt like prodding it with my finger in curiosity.

But I can’t believe he was so oblivious towards the fact that his ass was for the world to see! Sure, I’ve seen young girls with less than pretty ass cracks exposed. But not of over sized middle aged man. This is definitely a first.

I have never felt so disturbed in a long, long time.

Just imagine if I could see suspicious brown stains………….

I wanted to take a photo with my hand phone camera but didn’t want to get beaten up in the process. So I just made a mental snapshot of it and made use of my hidden talents as a comic artist:-


I know I’m not that slim and my legs are strange. Shadap.

…you know what, I think I deduced something else after reanalyzing the situation. …… all I can say is that I hope it’s because his underwear was pulled down together with his tight tight jeans.

Oh! I had a well deserved afternoon nap today and I dreamt that my entire family went to Penang for another visit. But this time, we got separated and I ended up in a safari in Penang.

I was following the safari guide around and then I saw a few animals. There was this LOA(Lack Of Attention) fox that sat cutely in the middle of the pathway. It was rather small. I went closer and I could hear the fox muttering to anybody who would listen, “Saya anjing yang comel, saya anjing yang comel.”

I was so amused that I searched for my camera, hoping to take a video of it to put up on youtube! It’s not everyday that I get to see a talking fox with an identity crisis!

But the bunch of animals started moving away and they made their way to a coffee shop (because it’s in Penang..hahaha) and the talking fox sat on a table and continued with its little phrase while the other woodland animals scurried about. I was preparing to take a shot of the talking fox when this great big Narnia-like Lion roared behind the fox. Then the caretaker tried to calm the lion down and made it walk around the coffee shop. The Narnia-like Lion got on its feet, passed a pillar and became the Paddle Pop Lion and people were still running about, scared of the lion.

…and then I woke up.(I’m sure there were many other weird things in between but I can’t recall)

Clearly some brain damage has occurred over here. Bzzt bzzt.

20 thoughts on “I’m Just Thankful That There Weren’t Any Stains”

  1. Jason says:
    July 4, 2007 at 12:45 am

    Sudah cuci mata dengan dettol tak?

    jo: LOL no amount of dettol can help ok! btw yesterday i dreamt about you!! hahahaha..you wanted me to pluck jambu air from this tree in my grandfather’s house(he was still alive, he passed me the galah..hahaha)…and i didn’t want to help you coz you wanted me to pluck it for a girl that you really liked..hahahha..then you merajuk and i had to help you pluck the fruit anyway. lololol.
    –

  2. Pingback: University Update - YouTube - I’m Just Thankful That There Weren’t Any Stains
  3. MY says:
    July 4, 2007 at 2:03 am

    Ass crack that made your eye bleed… hehe

    Safari in Penang ? Hmm… u sure have a wild imagination. Perhaps I should send a proposal to my hometown council to have a lion parade in coffee shops.

    jo: hahaha i really had to look away ok when i saw it;P

    LOL I KNOW!! weird weird dream.;P i think they call those lion dances.;P
    –

  4. s!mple cheryl says:
    July 4, 2007 at 9:29 am

    babe, saw yr article in RAGE today. want me to keep it for ya? give me an sms ya.

    jo: once again..:) *BIIIIG HUGGG* thank you so much:)
    –

  5. simon says:
    July 4, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    could have been worse. at least he wasn’t wearing thong!

    jo: ……………………. i would have taken a video instead. HAHAHA.
    –

  6. narrowband says:
    July 4, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    LOL that cracked me up big time. I don’t get how some people can walk in public with 1/2 of their ass exposed…

    jo: LOL that’s why it was so blog worthy!;D they probably think it is sexy. good lorrrrdddd.
    –

  7. Dr. Tan says:
    July 4, 2007 at 9:40 pm

    Pour whitening lotion down the ass, and use your finger to rub it.

    jo: that would make a lovely contribution to my new sodom-rape-in-prisons exhibition. I shall take your suggestion into consideration. 
    –

  8. hedonistics anonymous says:
    July 5, 2007 at 10:36 am

    the talking fox part cracked me up. i would’ve brought it back to my dream-house.

    and i bet it said “anjing” in your dream because you don’t know the malay word for fox. hehe. and no, it’s not musang.

    jo: hahaha it was really small you know, a baby fox. but i didn’t want to coz the safari guide was there.;\ lol! like it would matter! hahahaha..

    OH my.. i really thought it was musang. then when i read your comment, and pondered over it in the shower, .. i’m thinking, “Serigala?” cannot be right.. coz that’s for wolf… Anjing Kuning? .. 🙁 Anjing merah?

    –

  9. meldee says:
    July 5, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    jolene, ass cracks are not cute on anyone, except on babies in bouncy-bum diaper ads. and that’s only cos they’re not even in control of their motor skills yet! ugh i so feel your pain though. yaaaagh.

    hahaha you have the weirdest dreams la. *tsk*

    jo: LOL yeah man the only cute asses belong to wee little things. but wouldn’t you have scarred your eyes just as bad? *dabs blood remnants from eyes*

    LOL yes, me and my weird dreams. why are they always so weird….haih
    –

  10. arshana says:
    July 5, 2007 at 6:09 pm

    Ugh. That picture says a thousand words. >.

    jo: lol thanks! flattered.
    –

  11. tulipspeaks says:
    July 5, 2007 at 9:41 pm

    hie there. first timer here.

    oppssi! such a pain! 😉 hope u r ‘cured’ by now.

    ammu.

    jo: hello there!!:) welcome, welcome… haha i guess i am. but it was really bad..

    –

  12. Kok Keith says:
    July 5, 2007 at 10:05 pm

    I won’t mind seeing the ass crack of a hot girl. Thank god for thongs.. ahahha hope my gf doesn’t read your blog.. lolz

    jo: hahaha.. well, don’t all boys! oh, but your sister in law(i’m not sure if you’re still with li-lynn’s sis?) has popped by before..don’t know if she still does though.
    –

  13. Pingback: A-tish-oo Needs a Tissue | Fragments of Disjointed Thoughts
  14. bulat says:
    July 5, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    hahahaas!!~ last time there was this guy in college who erm…”showcases” his butt crack as well…not purposely.. but so happen ..he just needs new pants. my lecturer always gag when she sees it…^^’

    i love the drawing btw. just so: D

    jo: aiyoh poor thing;( u should’ve brought him shopping! hahah the lecturer damn bad rite;P

    hehehe thank you. so happy that my drawing is appreciated.

    –

  15. hao says:
    July 7, 2007 at 3:46 am

    Wow, you can even memorize and draw it out, LOL. Btw, got notice any bulu or not? Hahahaha….

    jo: hahha you want me to stare at it for so long ar??;(
    –

  16. s0hp0h says:
    July 7, 2007 at 2:44 pm

    ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! dunno whether it’s a good or bad thing that u din manage to snap a picture..

    jo: LOL LOL it’d be nice to share the pain. 
    –

  17. Kok Keith says:
    July 8, 2007 at 1:30 pm

    yes im still with li-lynn’s sister.. haha so update and this post will go down and she won’t read the comment.. hahaha

    jo: hahah alright then. here’s an update;)
    –

  18. yung . says:
    July 9, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    lolz come tell me where’s the safari in penang i would like to go loh 😛 n your dreams are so.. detailed. hahaa

    jo: lol…i’m thinking…Batu Feringghi! yeah man… i had alot of dreams detailed on my old blog. hahaha haven’t been blogging about them as much.
    –

  19. Jason says:
    July 12, 2007 at 7:01 pm

    That is one weird dream. -sweat-

    Now, where’s the jambu that you plucked? *waiting*

  20. Steven says:
    July 20, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    Butt meat! Oh, man, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard! Hehe. Cool blog.

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