Sometimes you think you can take your friends’ teasing, close one eye and let it go on for years. Because you yourself, you’re funny too and you brought it upon yourself, this so-called ability to laugh at yourself. And what’s more funny than self depreciating humour? Oh, they are the funniest of all the jokes that you can possibly tell.
How do you like it if your friend pretended he didn’t know you have a boyfriend even though we all grew up in the same school and when you simply crapped a name that is not your boyfriend’s back just for fun and your friend told you that this ‘person’ is blind.
I felt hurt. But it’s okay. Maybe he was joking. I didn’t laugh though.
What about when your friend who ask you how many months gone are you? It’s okay, my friend always does this to me and I love him just the same coz no matter how much fun he made of me, he always crinkles into a big smile that will melt your heart. Always a punch to his arm or his shin or whatever and we’ll forget it again.
What about the friend who asks you “why people who stay away from home usually have lousy meals and will probably only eat one meal a day and then lose weight, so how come you don’t lose weight but you’re the opposite instead?” My friend then proceeds to look me up and down slowly, trying hard to muster a look that he knows will piss me off. He is trying very hard to do that look up down thing to piss me off.
I still smiled. I said I am studying up north of Malaysia. Penang food is nearby. (Kedah learns the recipe, I suppose).
Then my friend tries again and asks me, “How many meals a day do you eat ar?”
This time I was expressionless. And I would say, “2.” and my friend would ask, “Then snacks?”
With a tighter smile, I would say, “no. Not really.”
My friend tries to prod further and would say, “I know. Sure your metabolism rate is slow one!!”
I would then glare at my friend and lower my eyelids. All those who poked fun at me would put their arms around me and try to get me to cheer up because it was just a joke.
But don’t need to try so hard to be mean just so the entire table can have a laugh.
Why the effort to point out that I’m fat?
As much as I’m angry with them, they are still my friends. I still like them. But I cannot stand them tonight.
I had to excuse myself before I burst into tears.
Thank goodness for the sanctuary which my car provided me throughout the drive back home. I really needed it.
And friends’ parents who tell you that you’ve put on alot of weight, that’s fine. It’s not nice to hear but you expect it from the adults coz it’s what they say. It doesn’t matter anymore. They think of it in a good way. But when your friends try their best to hit a raw nerve in you, just so that you will start yelling at them to shut up, and everyone can laugh and have a good time…it becomes somewhat like a competition to see who can hurt Jolene who put on weight.
But when you put together the pieces that happened throughout the day, you’re just so glad that your car is sound proof. You just get worried at what the people who stopped next to you at the traffic lights will think when they see your mouth opening and your face crinkled downwards as big fat tears rolled down your face.
But you guys are still my friends. After so many years, you’re still my friends. Just don’t hurt me anymore. I don’t like it.
p/s: if you must comment, please don’t slag my friends off. They have stood up for me in other ways.
17 thoughts on “It’s Not A Competition To See Who Can Poke Most Fun At Me”
jo: *hugs* 😀 no problem di.
It does feel hurt when people poke fun at your flaws, features. Just like me, people comment alot on my voices but I’m still “yada yada, I’m a girl I’m a girl okay?”. See people can comment a lot of things they want, sometimes when we talk alot, we tend to get carried away and forget about the things we should not say. So I definitely feel your disappointment when your friends poke fun at you just for the sake of making everyone laugh.
They will forever be that way as long as they don’t see you making any reactions so what you should do is to stay strong and be proud of who you are, what you have today! They commented on your outlook but you do know that at any time when you hit them back by telling them what you have in your brain is larger than their heads, they will bow down too!
So what I would suggest is that – be cool and stay strong. You want people to look up on you, you gotta be confident to yourself and ignore those comments. You are the one and only Jayelle!
jo: =) thanks for the kind words. I hope you won’t feel down too.Â
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down.. how wow wowwh
They can’t bring you down today
jo: Huhhhhh… huhhhhhhhh.. ee yeahh ee yeahhh…they can’t bring you down…………..TODAYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
heyy.. cheer up kay? there are lot’s others who are fatter and obessed! and.. i guess it doesn’t really matter as long as ur frenz still love you =D
jo: 🙂 they still love me. i know they do. just sad only lah. but very fast i get over it one lah.Â
First of all… BEEEG HUGGGG!!
I feel sooo annoyed at that person… whoever it is! I can only guess… hmm
How come you’re never on msn when I need to talk to you?! Like now!
That person is such a pathetic, insensitive, immature, jerk who feels the need to “bang” you so that he can look good in front of others. He so doesn’t deserve your time and company. *trademark bitch stare*
You ar e beautiful, and have so many people who really appreciate and love you. (Hint: one of ’em is memeME! *heehee*) btw looking really good in recent pics! Threaded your eyebrows? Love the make up!
Anyway… sigh, I miss you babe. Been so long since we had a long chat online. We should Skype/MSN Call soon! =D
jo: *jumps into amanda’s arms and hugs tight tight*
hahahaha like i said, i was ShOpppppeeeennng. fun fun fun.
nolah, i don’t know, his face was red. he said sun burnt. but i think it looks like it was alcohol induced?
Thanks dear for the kind words. Come home soon, needing your loving.
yeapp a few of us should do a skype conference:D
i get that sometimes also…i can be happy-go-lucky and laugh off those comments, but certain times, somehow you just feel hurt from those comments. especially when somtimes my mum tells me that ppl told her that i put on a lot of weight lately….maybe that’s not exactly wat they said, but my mum add in salt n pepper to make me feel super fat in front of others
anyway, enough of my rants…. cheer up Jolene!
jo: *hugs to you too* …. haih.. yeah it’s the accumulated effect. not so much one person. or even, not so much one occasion.Â
It’s annoying isn’t it! Your friends probably don’t know how else to be funny, hun, but don’t worry they’ll grow out of it (I’m 28 and none of my friends attempt that kind of “humor” anymore). The next time they insult you, just tell them “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit”…or…”Didn’t your mother teach you not to say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say?” Then walk off! 🙂
jo: nah, that’s how it is. this whole insulting each other thing as a form of fun. i guess i was being weak last nite. yeah i did walk off.:) they apologised and were really sweet about it. i know they didn’t mean it, just that i wasn’t happy lah.
i know i haven’t been here for a while, but still. *big FAT bear hugs from the fatter chun leen* 😀 i’ve got my tummy to vouch for it okay and you cannot laugh at me. heh
jo: hahha… aiyoh, you’ve been so busy. impossible that you’ve put on weight. eh, *points knife at chun leen*, go for the NUS parade ar. my boyfriend too busy with the float, cannot layan me.
hey.. i really agree with you and its just pretty much how it just happened to me too.
jo: cheers to you too:)
hey babess… *BIG HUGS*
being big boned i share your pain. it hurts when people keep prodding that raw spot.
self assurance yea? *hugss again*
see you soon. 🙂 hope my boyfriend didn’t bore you and Mel about his gymming. hahahah.
jo: hhehe *hugs**** he didn’t lah:) Though it wasÂ pretty much a constant in the conversations. hahaha. he didn’t get technical, don’t worry. Just insisted that we walked instead of taking the elevator. 😀
heh.. well, let’s see.. been there, done that.
though.. ouch.. *hugs* hope you feel better.
jo: i do, much. thanks:)
well…. i know friends can be a little bit insensitive at times, but I’m sure that after / if they read this, they will know how you feel and they will stop it. 🙂 take care….!!! *hugs`~`*
jo: hehe yeap… i’m quite touched lah when they said sorry to me. though i myself shouldn’t be so sensitive also. felt quite unhappy lah coz I know i put on weight. and which girl likes to hear about her being fat?
no girls like to hear about her being fat 🙁 its even worse when they’re being made a joke out of it. it stings when jokes get overboard.
jo: it does..it does..:( but after a good sleep or two, you kind of turn the scenario into a motivation of sorts.Â
i get that too sometimes.. haha but i never really take it seriously la..
isn’t it annoying when adults go like, OMG, you gain weight/become fat liao, with big-ass smiles like it’s a good thing? Really dunno what they expect the reply to be.. lol…
Anywayz, people are all different ma.. the world is no fun if we are all the same.. aren’t we glad we’re different.. aha
jo: hhhahhaha yeah i just don’t get that about adults. weren’t they young once?Â
You’re coming to Singapore for Rag Day? Haha..maybe I’d see you around then..I’m your Singaporean blogstalker! Haha
jo: hahha hello singaporean blog stalker! Welll… I doubt you’d be able to spot me in the crowd. Wouldn’t it be quite packed?:D
hey dear. Cheer up! Personally I can only imagine how awful it feels to be insulted this way. Sometimes people just don’t know where’s the limit to making fun of your flaws!
i can only guess who those people are who insulted you. Personally, I don’t understand why you’re still friends with them. But anyhoo, kisses! 😀
jo: 🙂 girls feel hurt more one. yeahh..:) but u know me dear, i blow over very quickly. 😐
Hey…blog hopped and read this entry.
I totally understand how you felt girl. It sucks to be made the butt of the joke. It’s funny how they can go from laughing with you to laughing at you.
I do really think it’s plain insensitive. It’s no excuse. But guys are usually insensitive and they tend to find fat jokes really amusing. Bah.
But I do think that you should ask them to stop if they’ve touched a raw spot. One reason they do it, I realise is because we let them. We let them think it’s alright to poke fun at our flaws. And you weren’t being overly sensitive. You had every right to feel that way. Don’t blame yourself for feeling hurt. It’s a honest emotion.
What you can do is to tell your friends how to be better friends (subtly lah) and if they love you, which I have no doubts, they can be.
I’m sure you’ve already settled this lah. Just wanted to give my 2 cents. Big girls must stick together. x )