Someone added me on MSN yesterday. He said he found me through my friendster and proceeded to add me to his MSN using the email he found me in my blog.
Then he asked, “Are your hobbies really fucking around, blow job and pussy licking?”
I was like, “WHAT?!”
He said, “It says so. On your friendster.”
I suspect it is one of the students in my university because I have a habit of now logging out of my Friendster account when I use the computers there.
BUT SO WHAT? It’s called moral values!!
Which is why when I left my Friendster account idle for just TWO days, I had two pages worth of suggestions for sex. It’s usually fucking Ah Bengs and stupid big pretensive macho Indian guys.
How do I tell the difference?
The messages which say, “let’s friendster and may I stand one night and pussy lick?” are no doubt by acne ridden shit faced Lala Chais. And if they want to stand one night, that’s none of my fucking business. Their legs tired only ma. Not mine.
The big pretensive macho Indian guys are the ones with the better English. And No, no Malay guys yet or else my Friendster account can really be damn muhibbah liao.
BUT SO WHAT, Malay, Chinese or Indian also the same lah!!! All fucking fucked up hamsap!!
I will punch him in the face so that he will black out. I will then proceed to remove his ALL his clothes and photograph him kau kau and forward it to everyone know and tell them that if they don’t forward it, they will be doomed to have a penis of that size. Oh, what if he is big issit? Then I will say, “If you don’t forward it, you won’t have a penis of that size.”
I will pour an entire bowl of salt on it. I will then wait for him to wake up.
He will be screaming in pain and would not be able to move as the pain is far too excruciating. I will grab hold of his bloody penis and slice the tip away with my chopper while I look at him with the most sinister of glares. I will bring my dog in front of him and feed my dog that piece of dick.
I will then take a barbed wire and stuff it up his ass and manoeuvre it into his reproduction system’s region. I will find the urether and proceed to get the barbed wire to poke out from there. I will then pull the barbed wire through his urether damn.bloody.slowly.
I will slice through his penis so that it forks open like the tongue of a snake and to end it all, I will take my father’s hammer to turn his balls into pulp.
*bows* Thank you.