I know my brother and my step cousin Justin have been waiting for my pimpage until their necks also long already. Sorry for the two months wait. Exams lah dei.
Pimptress was very busy.
LOL my brother and my step cousin emo-ed about not getting pimped, so I told them, “Haiya yes lah, coming soon.” But since I took so long, I’ll give this oneÂ EXTRA effort!! 🙂
Initially I wanted to insert the two in a last Pimptress’ Bachelor BUMPER edition(where I’ll finish all the guys one shot..got a large amount, you lucky lucky ladies.), but I thought it’ll be fun to do a family special. hahahaha.
I remember going to the hospital with arsenic on the 3rd of May 1989 when my grandparents told me that we were going to see my new brother.
Jolene the toddler: New kid on the block eh? Not for long now..*rubs chubby palms in glee*
How a two year old little girl managed to get some arsenic is not important.
But since he ate Rentokil before when he was 2 years old(true story) and didn’t get into any trouble, he didn’t die when I fed him arsenic.
Hence, Mervyn Lai Wei Shiung managed to live for another 17 years and hopefully many many years more until he is old and grey.
He may seem a little brooding and mysterious but deep down he is passionate about things that he really likes. Very much like me. 🙂 *beams proudly*
He is also loyal and creative. One thing about my brother which works with the ladies would be that he is TALL. TALL AS IN OMFG TALL. 2nd tallest in school apparently. Mun Teng’s brother bags the tallest dude title in SMK Subang Utama.
Quite cool that the two tallest guys’ sisters are best friends(along with my 10 other dahlings).
183cm I think.
-uh, I think he is trying to tell us about his new sunglasses..-
As his girlfriend,
you’ll probably be able to come shopping with me, get your manicure done by me, get to camwhore with me, get to come for our family weekend movies, get to be protected by me when he is mean to you, have me to beat him up if he treats you badlyÂ you’ll probably get the sweetest heartwarming gifts that his mind can conjure, have lovely poems written about you and the fact thatÂ he kisses the ground you walk on will be known by the entire world.
If THAT doesn’t sell, how about knowing that your babies will look OH SO ADORABLE? (i’m tooting my own horn here because alot of people say we look alike, haw haw haw). I just love this ice-cream photo. hahaha. I think he was about 3 years old. This was taken at The Valley Club in SS19, Subang Jaya.
His birthday party at McDonald’s Section 14 at age 1. Where he ruined the cake by slapping his chubby fist into the poor Donald Duck cake. 🙁
We all love fat babies don’t we? My brother was a heavy one. <3 *heart heart*
Oh well, if you guys are so stubborn and are still not convinced that you should take him home… maybe this video will change your mind.He made it for this girl called Amanda Lee whom he really really liked who went to US last year to finish her high school education. There’s another video where he took snippets out from to make this video which was like a Goodbye Message Video to her. He filmed all her friends saying byebye to her and telling her how much they’ll miss her and stuff. Accompanied with photos that he has taken of her and with her and of all her friends, with James Blunt crooning to You’re Beautiful..if the tears don’t come cascading down at the end of the video, well I’ll slap your ass and call you Judy. (don’t know, always hear people say that phrase one. hehe)
He’d buy her a nice bouquet of roses every valentine’s day from form2(year 2003)Â right up till the time she’s in the USA where he ordered roses for her as well.
So if you wanna steal his heart…
Email me at email@example.com, with the subject: Mysterious Mervyn
Derek Ho Hong Wai, born in 1988. He is currently doing his A levels in Sunway College and is staying on campus. Hehehe he doesn’t know that I am putting this up. Shy, extremely talented and pretty mysterious as well.
I’ve never actually heard of his romantic life but there were some teasing going on from his mean older cousin Jolene and his mean older sister Jacqueline. Hehehe.
He is a very hardworking boy, which means you can be sure that he’ll ensure that there will always be food on the table no matter what. So being his wife would mean a secure life for you.
He is not a spiteful boy, so if you’re SICK of dealing with your bastard’s sarcasm and whiplashing, my cousin here will be a breath of fresh air.
l-r: Derek, Me, Jacqueline at cousin Hong fei’s wedding.
As I have already mentioned, he is an extremely talented boy. He has a black belt in Taekwando(and I think he is still carrying on to the higher stages), doing his diploma in piano(the pianist of the family), I don’t know if playing computer games qualify as a talent but yeah, he plays games, he is taking his ice-skating hobby very seriously – last I heard he even went on to represent for some games……..and I have a gut feeling that he’ll take up cooking very very soon. Just you wait. 🙂
Like I said, he is brilliant on the piano. Here’s him doing Fantasy Impromptu. And forgive the lag, my audio cacat, it doesn’t follow the visual component very well.
To top it off, he has SUCH silky hair!
If you want more information on Derek, Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject: Darling Derek
Here, is my step cousin Justin Tiew. I have NEVER seen this guy in real life before and we’ve only heard about each other UNTIL I saw his nick tagging at Kennysia’s tagboard before messaging him saying, “eh? my step cousin Justin TIew ar?” and so our “family-relationship” developed.
I’ve heard about him way back in 2001 because he had abit of interest in one of my friends..(teeheehee) and then he heard not so nice things about me in college due to some boobÂ nudging incident. My boobs by the way. Yeah, we were from the same A-levels course, yet we’ve never had the chance to meet in person. Very very strange.
-photos were taken by Kevinhan, said Justin.-
I’m sure besides complementing his lovely character and personality, there’s a hundred and one things you can do for Justin like, uh, spreading honey all over thoseÂ pecs and sliding over it…Mmmmmm..
Honestly, I can’t give you the analysis that Justin deserves, because I don’t know his characteristics in real life. But I do have the impression that he is a very good son, a brilliant student(he is doing an engineering course in Australia, ON FULL SCHOLARSHIP!!) and a man of the kitchen. 🙂
Alas, some clothes.
Yes ladies, he cooks. He experiments with recipes! Amazing.
He actually came all the way to Sg.Petani(yes, I’m studying in his hometown.-_-) to learn some cooking from his aunty.
Don’t you want to dine with him, savouring his labour of love with a candlelight illuminating his loving face and him romancing you in his many ways? 🙂
..ohmigod, I surprise myself sometimes. I was listening to a very upbeat disney song(something from Beauty and the beast) when I typed the above sentence. Didn’t know it can rhyme so nicely. Hahahaha.
This is his last photo, I promise. Gotta use up the ones that he sent to me, or else it doesn’t serve its purpose. 😀
For more information, please email me at email@example.com with the subject: Juicy Justin
I understand that today’s selection of men is rather limited in the age category, unable to cater to the hornier older ones among you ladies.:) However, if you have a younger single sister, do hit me back yeah.
Now here are the other cousins who have been removed from the market:
Cousin Ho Hong Weng, Age 25(same age with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears you know!)Â and attached to an air stewardess from MAS. That’s my mum on his other side by the way.
Another potential one gone would be cousin Lo Kwan Hoong who oscillates between the english name of Vincent and Nicholas throughout his secondary school years.Â Previously a student of SMK Seafield, he is waiting to enter MMU. He is 18 years old.
Has a ‘BaByGirL’ for quite a long time now..
hoho. I suppose the photo speaks for itself right?
Cousin Ho Hong Fei, age 28, married to his high school sweetheart, Kwee Fong. Both of them were classmates in Catholic High School. *cough cough* This scenario seems familiar. *cough*
Cousin Leow Mian Yong, Age 29(same age with Douglas Lim!! and Eyeris!) was previously studying in Taylor’s College’s A-Levels(same like me!) and stayed with my family for over a year when I was only 8 years old. LOL. Quite a pity I didn’t know how to appreciate the college boys that he brought home at that time.
He has a fiance who comes from Hong Kong whom he met while studying in US. He is now working in the US and will not come back. 🙁
Oh! My two semi gweilo cousins!
l-r: the 17 year old with yucky coloured hair, Simon Hall and Jonathan Hall.
They have chinese names that they use as their middle names.
Simon’s is Wei Lien and Jonathan’s is Wei Xin. hehehehe. so cute right. So it’s like Jonathan James Wei Xin Hall.
Oh, right. They are from the UK and have been living there all their lives. Their mum’s chinese and is my aunt. However, last I heard they were single, but I can never be too sure with these two cousins of mine.
I think Simon’s 23 this year and Jonathan’s only 3 days older than me, which makes him 19 as well.
Other cousins without photos:
The rest are in primary school and kindergarten and some hasn’t even started kindergarten..so I suppose I don’t have to pimp them right?
I do have another cousin that I thought would be fun to pimp. Khoo Something Beng. Yeah, I know, me is bad bad cousin. But I call him Ah Beng Kor Kor when I see him. Though he prefers to be called Ivan, understandably.
You guys may have seen him before, previously doing some advertorial shots for Tmnet as this disco dude who dances alone on the dance floor(it’s in Klue magazine)
or the adorable Malaysian student in a foreign land who is decked out in his traditional chinese costume during the winter(which is during Chinese New Year)with the caption below saying, “My friends always ask me why I dress up like Santa Claus this time of the year.”
And he was one of the family members in that Tenaga Nasional ad with the entire family cooling their food with the table fan. Hehe.
Oh, and another with where he was some delivery boy for some rich tai tai and I think that was a Streamyx ad.
Haih, banyak lah.
He seems quite popular with the ladies, as I once saw a horde of girls coming out from his room during Chinese New Year, and him giggling with them and being very happy. heh. I wouldn’t worry much about him. Pity I don’t have photos of him though.
Well, I suppose that wraps up my family special edition. Will bring the BUMPER issue out soon, stay tuned!
Here’re some flashbacks for you to oggle:
Batch 3 Of Sweet Bachelors