Not So Little Girl In A Reverie

Menu
  • About Me
Menu

The Experienced TVB Serials Watcher

Posted on March 19, 2007March 19, 2007 by Jolene

As a pro TVB serials watcher of at least 15-16 years of experience, I believe that I should be hired as a professional critic to assess the quality of their series. Though I’ve been on a hiatus for the past one and a half year(can’t believe I’ve lived this long without TVB..), my evaluations are still quite reliable.

My strength is in recognising which actors/actresses should rise in the ranks, be binned or which kelefeh to be given a chance to. My weakness however lies in the olden days serials as the language is far too flowery for my banana ears which is only adapted to simple modern cantonese.

But hear me out.

There are too many repetitive patterns in TVB shows.

1. Enough with the parted lovers who miss each other so much, who go out at night to walk the streets of Hong Kong, only to cross paths with each other yet not being able to see each other because they were being blocked by a passing car, a large crowd of people, crossing the roads in different directions, a cart selling put chai kou etc.

2. EVery pair of lovers who were never meant to be must ALWAYS have an emo english song. It’s sweet in the beginning, but it makes the song cheap by the end of the series.

3. There are only three ways to die unnaturally in TVB shows:
– kena bang by car
– jump off roof(alot of roofs to jump off in Hong Kong)
– kena stabbed in the stomach by some angry acquaintance.(it’s never the head, or the back or the heart. Always the stomach.)

4. There are only three professional jobs recognised in the TVB world:
– doctor
– lawyer
– police
– The occasional pilot serials get picked up to. (I loved Triumph In The Skies!)

5. Every big company has family problems and mafia as brother in laws.

6. Back alleys are meant for beating people up. Rubbish bags and baskets are ALWAYS ALWAYS thrown to wart off scary thugs. I am suspecting that TVB owns a collection of black bags filled with styrofoam and the brown baskets are theirs too. Oh, let’s not forget the sticks. They never seem to differ in size from series to series. Believe me, try and look properly the next time you see some pathetic bastard who owes the loan shark money gets cornered in a narrow alley. The sticks are always half a metre taller than an average TVB actor.

Besides watching the actors steal the limelight on the idiot tube, you might want to pay a little attention to the kelefehs in the background too. It’s quite interesting actually.. infact, I’ll even call it kelefehology. There are kelefehs who can act and kelefehs who cannot act. Granted that if your face got problem you’re stuck being a kelefeh for decades on end. But you’re so versatile as an actor which is why they’ve maintained that actor as a kelefeh for so many decades.

But sometimes, miracles happen and a not so good looking actor gets to rise in the ranks and become a main star. Bobby Au Yeung. For him, it’s all about charisma which got him so many leading roles and his cheekiness.

Every now and then TVB will hire a couple of extras and like me, an experienced TVB watcher, you will laugh your ass off at the mediocre acting. There’s just NOTHING in their eyes and the tone of their voices are monotonous. In recent serials, I suspect they’ve taken on a Cast-A-Kelefeh-In-A-Recurring-Role campaign. These newbies have no emotions in their eyes and are very unenthusiastic about their acting. At least they don’t over act. That would be worse.
I do pity kelefehs who have always been casted in the same role for decades on end. Crazy retard, bad mafia side kick, loan sharks, side kick to company CEO, rapist, family doctor, family lawyer, mistresses, prostitutes etc. it’s always the same people. And you think to yourself, how much are they getting paid to be a kelefeh actor for so many years with TVB? Do they go back to their flats and live their mundane lives? I mean acting as kelefehs for so many decades surely cannot offer you a lucrative lifestyle? It makes me so sad.

Some acting tips here for actors, young and new, old and er..old:

If you can’t use your eyes to act, don’t resort to using your lips for further enhancement of facial expressions. It just makes me feel like slapping you.

If you’re crying, where are the tears?

There are many more ways to pretend to be drunk then just walking in a zig zag line. In TVB, the only form of drunkaism is happy and singing. There are other types of drunkards too you know: angry, violent, crying, depressed, brooding, sleeping, housecleaning(ahha mel~~) etc.

If you’re blushing because you’re in love, try something else aside from the whole looking down and away whilst biting your damn lips.

It’s high time that children below the age of 6 be sent to acting classes before being able to act on any serials. The child usually says, “Papa mama ngo hou tong ngo ar.. huhhh huhh huhh..huhh huhh huhh..” with a straight face so you don’t even why the hell they’re making those noises then you slap your forehead and go, “oh i see, the kid is crying.”. Tsk tsk. Really spoils the show.

However, there are so many reasons for me to love TVB forever and ever:

the cantonese phrases, (la la seng, ham pa lam, lei ge sei wu li ching, ngo tung lei hui sei gor!!, sam cheong leong tuen etc.), the falling in love moments between cute TVB actors(Steven MA!!!, Michael Tse, Ellesmere Choi) and any other deserving actresses(aside from Anne Heung Hoi Lam, Flora Chan(she’s okay with Joe Ma), Kenix Kwok etc. should just retire from TVB.) and I have to admit some of the police shows are actually quite nice. *paiseh* Especially when Bobby Au Yeung stars in them *paiseh*.

21 thoughts on “The Experienced TVB Serials Watcher”

  1. anthraxxxx says:
    March 19, 2007 at 12:56 am

    Although Witness to a prosecution is not entirely a police but a forensic drama, I love it to bits. I like the theme song too. Do you have them (the theme song)? I generally enjoy TVB’s period dramas more than the modern ones. What’s your opinion on TVB’s historical or ancient dramas? I’m currently waiting for Forensic Heroes hehe. Anyway this is a good post on TVB serials, I enjoy reading it 😀

    jo: oh ya! witness to a prosecution was damn good. but don’t you notice that EVERYTIME he solved a crime was by accident? nah, i dun have the theme song… why ar?? i like the modern ones more.

    haha.. i think i’ll write one on historical and ancient dramas. thanks;D
    –

  2. jlshyang says:
    March 19, 2007 at 1:07 am

    wah, certified TVB drama fan.

    Gotta love all those repetitive patterns you observed from all the TVB dramas, you hit the nail on the head!

    Everything becomes so predictable after watching TVB series for the past many many years but i still love TVB series! I like predictable dramas and movies wan la, hahahah. Boring me :p

    jo: ahahha memang. hehehehe.. cannot miss it one la..so many years of tvb watching. hahahaha good good. tvb drama series can be so addicitive even though they are predictable.
    –

  3. Nonnie says:
    March 19, 2007 at 11:53 am

    It is so true! I mean the repetitive pattern.

    You missed out one important tag-line,

    “Lei mm hou gor lei. Coi gor lei, wo zau thiu lok hoi”

    jo: lol forever one la that one!
    –

  4. lips says:
    March 19, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    reallyyy? but bobby au yeung’s whole “cheekiness” factor is getting a bit annoying too. oh and in tvb, the only way to get over a broken heart is to get drunkkkkk. hahaha!

    jo: lol, it might get old after awhile hor? hahaha..yes. no such thing as eating chocolates. unless it’s those career woman comedies…*rolls eyes*
    –

  5. keili says:
    March 19, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    the children crying part is so so funny! and it is so so so so true.

    jo: and annoying dun u think?:D
    –

  6. Dr. Tan says:
    March 19, 2007 at 7:58 pm

    Ey! I did zig zag once when I was drunk!

    jo: haha ya mou~~
    –

  7. Dr. Tan says:
    March 19, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    Sorry, not was. Its ‘am’

  8. buaya69 says:
    March 19, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    yup, TVB serials are very educational. must watch more often, heh!

    jo: ehehhe teach me cantonese la
    –

  9. AbbyC. says:
    March 19, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    although tvb series are getting trashy and we still hope it will get better thesedays since they have all these mega productions wahahaha…

    jo: their mega productions are good ler… *chants Triumph In the skies, triumph in the skies*
    –

  10. crushedguava says:
    March 20, 2007 at 10:49 am

    i don’t watch tvb dramas, but what about that ang moh guy who can speak chinese. the same ang moh guy again and again, if i’m not mistaken.

    jo: that’s right!! why did i miss him out
    –

  11. Eve says:
    March 20, 2007 at 7:27 pm

    Way to go!! They even awarded the Mat Salleh you see in almost all mat salleh role available “Chiu Kap Mou Tek Keh Leh Feh” I think you know who, always the british army that wanna sell cocaine, or the chef from France etc. He lead quite a normal life, and adopted >6 dogs. I watched it somewhere on tv before too. haha

    My record of watching tvb is finishing War and Beauty in 2days ++!!

    jo: ahahha oh that show featuring the kelefehs one rite? haha yeah i know who:D i can’t understand war and beauty. too deep for me;(

    –

  12. synical says:
    March 20, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    I’ve not watched TVB dramas for quite a while now – I don’t think I’ve missed anything, IMO. (Although I liked Ada Choi’s diversity).

    Got tired about the doctor-police-fireman-lawyer repetition, the only people they have not made a show about is postmen only – there should be a show about postmen or postal workers.

    Go figure.

    jo: lol you’re wrong there. do you remember seven sisters??/ 😀 Anne Heung the ghost lived in the post office where Gallen Lo the postman was working at.
    –

  13. elaine says:
    March 21, 2007 at 12:54 am

    haha, tvb dramas are so predictable.

    like if its a rich family (modern or old drama), sure got some super crisis, they become poor or something coz of a relative yang pembelot. then they have to overcome their differences.. blah dee blah.

    nevertheless, i’m still addicted and love tvb lots. hehe XD

    jo: lol yala./big familes = dramas. *rolls eyes*
    –

  14. gwen says:
    March 21, 2007 at 1:21 am

    OMGGGG!!! I love steven ma!! so freaking hot. the epitome of “tall, dark and handsome”. *slurps.

    and him in pilot outfit!!!!!!! *double slurps

    lol. i sounded desperate =P

    jo: ahaha join the club! (which consists of my mother and me so far) and since when he wore a pilot uniform?

    –

  15. cHrIstInA_YY says:
    March 21, 2007 at 2:21 am

    Haha, this is so true ’bout TVB dramas but still i enjoy watching ’em especially old ones

    jo: hehehe… old ones? period dramas?
    –

  16. synical says:
    March 21, 2007 at 8:45 am

    I don’t know when that was, but it sure wasn’t back when I still watched them…

    Anyway I wasn’t talking about comedic shows with a postman, but more like a drama with postmen and their everyday lives.

    jo: ahh..true la. can it be exciting? dun think they have one about sailor. ohmigod…. do u think they’ll ever do a sci fi?? HAHAHA that would be the worst show in history
    –

  17. synical says:
    March 21, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    HK X-Files? Gawd forbid. 😛

    jo: HORRORS! 0_0
    –

  18. -pY- says:
    March 21, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Ahhh! The throwing of the rattan baskets and rubbish bags thing! Oh gosh, I laughed right at the spot when I was reading it. SO TRUEEEEE.

    jo: hahahhaa YES!! It’s funny coz it is DAMN fricken true!;D:D
    –

  19. gwen says:
    March 22, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    lol. opps.. doesn’t steven ma refer to ma tak zhong?

    jo: hahaa.. who is ma tak chung? NO! that’s JOe ma!!! who is also fricken hot la..:D Steven Ma Chun Wai. go google him. Yum! 
    –

  20. Eve says:
    March 22, 2007 at 5:35 pm

    Normally the pembelot for the rich family is the 2nd uncle – Yee Sok. Agree or not? Like, Yin Chi Sui Fan and Revolving Hotel or smtg, also Yee Sok is the baddie wan….

    jo: WAHAHAHAHHAHAHA damn funny. yes it is .. yes ..
    –

  21. veekhee says:
    March 24, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    triumph in the skies 2 will be out soon 🙂
    too bad my fav charmaine sheh is not acting. 🙁

    jo: aiks, yes meh? i googled it, heard that they’ve given it to the mainland to handle?
    –

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pages

  • About Me

Archives

  • January 2021
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • March 2013
  • July 2012
  • December 2011
  • September 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
  • January 2006
  • December 2005
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • February 2005
  • December 2004
  • January 2004
  • December 2003
  • November 2003

Recent Comments

  • generic cialis on Samsung Galaxy S Maxis10 Review Part 2 – Perfect For The Social Media Addict
  • cialis coupons on Samsung Galaxy S Maxis10 Review Part 3 – Click, Record, Save and View Your Life Away
  • tadalafil 5mg on Samsung Galaxy S Maxis10 Review Part 3 – Click, Record, Save and View Your Life Away
  • cialis vs viagra on Samsung Galaxy S Maxis10 Review Part 1 – This Phone Here, Is A Magical Tool.
  • viagra pills on Samsung Galaxy S Maxis10 Review Part 2 – Perfect For The Social Media Addict

Blog Addictions

  • Kinky Blue Fairy
  • Xiaxue

Friends and Family Who Blogs

  • Albert’s Blog
  • Audrey’s Blog
  • Chee Kiang’s Blog
  • Chung Lern’s Blog
  • Melody’s Blog
  • Sher Lyn’s Blog

Met In Real Life

  • 5xmom
  • Asyraf
  • Avril Chan
  • Boss Stewie
  • Fireangel
  • Galvin Tan
  • Kenny Sia
  • Kimberlycun
  • Loopymeals
  • Minishorts
  • Pinkpau
  • Simon
  • Sixthseal
  • Smashpop
  • Yee Hou

Traffic

  • Site Meter

Categories

  • 56k killer
  • Advertorials
  • audioblogging
  • Bitching
  • Blog
  • Blogshops Love
  • buy buy buy no need money ar?
  • Celebrations
  • Dentistry
  • DIY
  • eat shit sleep
  • Emo
  • events
  • Jo's Cook Book
  • JOCK Wedding
  • Jolene's theories
  • Ngam ngam cham cham
  • nightmares & dreams
  • no need money ar?
  • old blog
  • Period Pains
  • Pimpin'
  • PMS
  • Sugar High
  • Trips!
  • TV and Movie Reiews
  • Uncategorized
  • with videos!
  • Wtf?
© 2023 Not So Little Girl In A Reverie | Powered by Superbs Personal Blog theme
This blog is protected by dr Dave's Spam Karma 2: 32905 Spams eaten and counting...