One thing good about having a husband is so that you’ll always have someone to open your durians for you.
Girls like me who live miles away from her father and her boyfriend and is too paiseh to call her male classmates to help her open durian(also because she wants to eat it all) will face such difficulties in life.
Damn durian cost me RM9 by the way. I know it’s expensive. But I believe no fruits should cost more than RM1.
It was so depressing as I hacked away at the durian half heartedly because I had no freakin’ idea how to go about it. I asked the stupid durian man to help me open it but he only made some shallow cuts on the durian. It doesn’t help that I’m damn scared of the thorns as well. Haih.
I nearly wanted to give up already. Lie Yuen can attest to that as she was the one who heard my moanings and groanings. YOU would be sad too. RM9 wei!
I raised the knife from above head level and brought it down to the thorny fruit at full speed – as if murdering an enemy! Thwak! Yet the durian won’t open up. )#*#$
But after many minutes of hacking(green thorns all over the floor) the damn durian, I managed to pry open the stupid(but delicious) fruit.
The place was a mess and I had to get rid of the durian skin. Since both my housemates hate durians, I should be considerate enough to bring the skins to the dumpster as soon as I was done.
I started my durian eating career at the age of 2 plus. The adults(immediate paternal family) would sit at the table and lay a piece of newspaper for me to sit on the floor to eat. They’d put a few durians on a plate for me and I’d be sitting there enjoying my durian while the adults had a good session at the table. At that time Mervyn was probably still an infant or still in my mother’s womb but he HATES durians.(and prawns too. Might as well add that while I’m at it.)
Just to paint a better image of my surroundings, I spent the first two years of my life living in my dad’s childhood home in Seksyen 18 Petaling Jaya. It’s situated right next to the KTM tracks. I like adding random information about myself whenever I can. I know nobody cares. Oh well. ;\
Bland.. blah. It only tastes fantastic after festering in the fridge for awhile. Mmm!
So much hard work. *backache*. But the taste of the durian skin after being in the fridge for 24 hours, oh god..oh god…ohhh…~
Alright, enough about durians. I’ve done the final bit of my dentures already. I used the whitening powder today to give the dentures a shiny surface. Proud to say that my dentures were the envy of my classmates(ahem, don’t jealous!) because it was damn bloody shiny. You could even check your reflection on the gums.
Let me educate you guys a little bit about occlusions:
This is a Class 3 Malocclusion.
This is an orang cacat tak sedar diri occlusion(kinda obvious that I don’t know what it is:P). Actually my teeth are slightly like that. SLIGHTLY only. Blame it on either:
1) Chewing too much on one side as a child(I was afraid my milk teeth would fall off on my right side, hence)
2) Sleeping on one side as an infant, thus impeding the growth of my jaws on one side.;(
3) Knocked on something as a child.(theory offered by my orthodontist who happily calls me, “Ahh, the lady with the crooked face,”. 🙁 )
This is an expression of approval and general satisfaction.
This expression shows doubt and concern.
This expression is of a person who is falling down sideways from the cliff.
An expression of someone screaming as he falls down from aforementioned cliff.
This is what we would call, a dislocated jaw. Heh.
It’s only during exam season that I can think of the stupidest things to do. 🙁
I didn’t wash my hair for more than 24 hours, and after clipping up in a clip for the entire day, this was the effect.
It was so full of gunk that it could stand away from my forehead. So disgusting right?
I thought I resembled Chapman To. Damn fugly lah his fringe. He is cute in a sor kua kua way though.
Or even Anita Mui’s 1980’s look?
I’ve seen more similiar pictures, but this will do.:)
But I thought that my current state of ugly hairness(not like it’s fantastic on other days, but at least it’s not embarrassingly ugly) would resemble a rogue or even a loan shark/Tai Yi Long more!
This is my imitation of a rogue. Or a crazy woman? I don’t know, you choose.
Haha.. the tai yi long series starts here.
*big mafia loan shark turns head to look at pathetic gambler*
“Lei mat sui?!” asks the Big Mafia Loan Shark rudely of the pathetic gambler. *translation: Who the f*ck are you?(in that tone la. not the exact translation)
“Orh.. cheh chin hai mai…….” says the Big Mafia Loan Shark who is actually quite understanding and wants to “help” the pathetic gambler. *translation: Oh..you want to borrow money issit..
“Ngo tong lei gong ah, yi gor lei ng chun si wan chin leh, lei chun pei kun choi la!” warned the Big Mafia Loan Shark. The gambler shivers with fear. *translation: I’m telling you, if you do not pay up on time, please prepare a coffin.
“HA!?? MOU CHIN WAN?! CHOK SEI AR!?!!” screams the Big Mafia Loan Shark at the poor pathetic gambler. *translation: WHAT?? NO MONEY TO RETURN TO ME? WANNA DIE AR?
And then imagine the big mafia loan shark going up to the poor pathetic gambler and he says…
Anyway, while I’m in the mood to make faces, here are a few more:
This is my portrayal of an eunuch. “Lei-lei-lei….*SIGH*”, a phrase usually said by exasperated eunuchs to someone who is annoying them. *translation: Y-y-you-you…..*SIGH*
Now.. do you think I can copy Ed Bighead’s look? Damn fucking ugly, but I’ll try my best.
I didn’t think it was humanly possible too.
But I managed. 😀 (plus the ugly hair so goes with the part of Ed Bighead too! Great Success!)
Anyway, don’t flame me ya! I’ll flame myself first.
WAH LAU FACE LIKE FUCK LIKE THAT, LOOK LIKE MAN, HAIR LIKE CRAZY OLD MAN, SO MANY LAYERS OF FATS, EYES LIKE SHIT, BALDING AR YOU, I WANNA VOMIT, BITCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR EYEBROWS LA YOU UGLY BITCH, YOU LOOK LIKE MY DOG, YOU’RE THE UGLIEST PERSON I’VE EVER SEEN!!!!!! GO DIE!!!!!!!!!
.. *phew*.:) Now that’s better! The last time someone flamed me about my looks, I failed my biochemistry paper. Heh. But that’s because I picked a fight with her thus resulting in me checking for updates every few minutes hence, the failure. But I tak tahan insults one ya. So don’t spoil my mood. Exam next week. KEEP ME HAPPY:D Insult me the week after. No problem!