Walk Somemore Bad Soul

I should’ve taken it as an omen indicating further misfortunes when I put my luggage bag upright and everything fell out when the taxi was waiting. …

…anatomy books, mini skirts, hair dryer, cosmetics, A4 papers, notes, t-shirts, panties, bras all over the ground.

Perhaps it’s wise to zip the luggage bag everytime hor?

Before I go into why my trip back home sucked, at least there was a moment somewhere in Perak when I roused from my slumber(wtf, not slumber, more like crouched-position pressing against my spinal nerves hence rendering me unconcious. OK JOLENE ENOUGH ANATOMY.) and I found myself staring out into a valley of yellow stars, semi-obscured by a curtain of mist. So beautiful! The highway cuts through some hills and there was mist everywhere and there’s a valley below with a town situated in it. As you know, hills, they have contours and all. The highway tilts but what I saw was the town tilting..you know, like when you’re on a plane and suddenly the land tilts to the left, up, down, right..etc.

Another notable incident on the bus was when there was a baby crying her lungs out. Her mother would shout at her and you would hear something muffling the baby’s cries. Then you’ll hear the outbreak of another wail before it gets muffled and blends with the racket from the bus engine. We suspected child abuse. The climax was when the mother put her semi naked baby girl in the aisle and changed her diaper. Like performing a magic show for the other passengers like that. I was waiting for the smell of baby shit to hit my nose but ….very strange.. the more I inhaled, I picked up the scent of KFC somewhere in the bus. *stomach growls longingly*. This cannot be as disgusting as compared to the time Maxis said that the cadaver’s spinal cord reminded him of mihun soup.

Somewhere in Perak, the bus stopped at a run down eatery and there was a burger stall outside the eatery. There was a pile of what-was-to-be/what-would-have-been steamed peanuts.

Hungry, I asked the man, “Saya nak beli 200g, bang.”

He replied, “Tak panas punya, sejuk.”

“Oh, ye ke? Tak apalah, saya nak jugak,” I replied, growing hungrier.

“Tak sejuk lah,” he grew impatient.

“Tak apa, saya nak jugak,” I just wanted some damn peanuts, damnit!

“Kamu ada tangan kan? Kamu pegang lah!!” the fucker was so fucking bitchy.

I was taken aback. “SUDAH. SAYA TAK MAU BELI LAH!” and I stormed off.

I turned back and spoke to Lishen and Lie Yuen (who were waiting for their burgers) in cantonese, “Don’t buy from the asshole! Let’s go!”

The two girls walked off, leaving Yan Rui(who was standing with them) at the stall and he kena-ed from the burger man because he was the only one left there to bully after we walked off.

Anyway, please lah,got business also don’t want to do. I just want to eat peanuts, don’t care whether hot, warm or cold right? I give you money, you take. Don’t talk so much! Somemore he should take an ear digger and dig his ears nicely because clearly, he has problems with his hearing.

*

KL rained cats and dogs yesterday as we crawled into the city. At midnight, the bus stopped and the driver started puffing on a cigarette in the enclosed bus.

I told Cze-Yin(who was sitting next to me), “Let’s start coughing!”

“AHACCKKK, KE, Ke, AHAAACCKKKGGHH, AHHHUUHHGGHHKK..*choke,choke*”..

No response.

“Turun lah!” the bus driver called out after awhile.

We were stumped. Isn’t our destination supposed to be Puduraya? My poor father has been waiting there for over an hour. The bus driver said that JPJ’s not allowing anymore out of town bus into Puduraya due to the massive jams. All buses were to stop at Jalan Duta’s Hockey Stadium instead. Lagi lagi JPJ yang suei.

Allow me to curse like a true urbanite: NYA MAHAI CHAU CHIPET FUCKING BUS FUCK FUCK DONKEY DRAGON PIG GOOSE BABI ANJING BETINA PUKI MELELEH PUNYA.

We got out on the main road and we took our bags out from the luggage compartment. I think I carried like 20-30kgs worth of junk with me. In the pouring rain. Maxis’ schoolbag fell on a puddle of water and he immediately opened it to retrieve his notes…but it was too late. The sadness on his face was indescribable as he peeled his notes apart to survey the damage.

I was frantically calling and smsing my other friends and my dad as well(who was talking to me very sweetly before shit happened, and became damn damn damn grumpy when the whole fiasco happened). Raindrops dotted my handphone screen and words were magnified and distorted and I could see individual colour pixels…

I then had to pull my 20-30kg luggage up a small hill to the stadium. My back was threatening to split in half.

My jeans were rolled up to my knees and my hair was in a chicken-rice-seller-hairstyle(messy bun). I felt the rainwater from the puddles seep into my cheapo velvet flats.

Very unhappy.

Dad was quite heaty on the phone because he didn’t know which entrance to wait for me and both of us have never even heard of this place.

I walked to all possible entrances in the pouring rain, totting my backpack. After some trial and error, I finally saw my dad’s car. Not good, it was nearly 1am.

I will use aeroplanes for major holidays next time. I HATE BUSES. SO TOTALLY UNRELIABLE. At least you don’t expect Air Asia to drop you at Bukit Jalil or something just because “KLIA is having a traffic jam leh,”.

I still can’t scrub away the stains left from my soggy cheapo velvet flats on my feet.

🙁