We Now Have Preachers On Friendster, yo!

There are times when I have provocative photos up on Friendster and sometimes I have what-I-assumed-to-be-provocatives photos of me up on my account. In other words, there are times when I have a full inbox and there’s that dry spell sometimes.

Nope, never been one of those girls who have an overflowing friendster inbox with Ah Beng’s begging to be friends. I don’t think I’m an Ah Beng’s cup of tea.

There was this one guy who viewed my friendster though.(among 140 viewers since the start of the month. I may be sad, but not THAT pathetic as to be excited about ONE guy) So he seemed like a very down to earth(read: far from your average egomaniac metrosexual (read somemore: bit nerdish, someone who has worked in the IT line far too long type)). And I’m judging from his profile photo. Graduation day, very happy looking, with a bouquet of flowers. His age? 27. Hmm. Someone hasn’t been camwhoring in a very very long time.

He left pretty intriguing messages. A nice change compared to the usual suspects of “Can I friendster you?” “Can u gif me tel number? I want meet you.” “Can I make an introduction between my penis and your vagina?”

Obviously you know I made the last one up. No Friendster-desperado types can conjure such flawless grammar in that last sentence. 🙂

So his first message was like this:

Boon Eu wrote:
hi jolene,

Just drop by to wish you a very happy mother’s day !!! What did u do or get for your mum on this special day ?

Fair enough. At least a little effort in trying to be friendly.

Jolene wrote:
hey:)
i got her Rose Body Lotion from Bodyshop…and what did u get your mother?

What? He seemed friendly. So, I, be, well, be friendly back..

Boon Eu wrote:

hi jolene,

is bodyshop having a sales ? where did u get that ? how much is that ?

apparently, i get her nothing. Just spend more time with her and help her in doing house chores. A simple life here…. u hv msn ?

It’s very hard to come across a Friendster weirdo who speaks passable english and actually asks more things than “Got photo? Wanna see your breasts.”

Once again I made the last bit of the sentence up. We ALL know Friendster desperados CANNOT structure a sentence like that!

Jolene wrote:
erm yes. but can we talk through friendster? i prefer that.

no… Rm39.90. Bought at Sunway Pyramid’s branch.

welll..at least u spend time with her;)

I don’t like to add people to my MSN only to ignore them after awhile. Waste of space you know? For sure I’ll ignore someone I don’t know..

Boon Eu wrote:
errmm….. sure…. i can understand why u want to talk in friendster first..

u bought at sp ? I just pass by there just now, came back from midvalley.

u also spend time wif ur mum wut. still studying ? wht course r u taking ? i cant really see the details cause im not in ur friend list yet.

what do u like to do usually ? whts ur chinese name?

I get bored very easily with tennis type of messages. I hit you back, you hit me back. Clearly we have nothing in common and clearly I’m just being nice. So enough lah, let this message rot in my inbox.

Three days later, I get another message from this Boon Eu fella:

hi jolene,

I think i gave you a reply through friendster and still not yet receive your reply. Been wondering, is this the end of the communications. Well, if you visit my site, there might be some perceptions that i’m like a female photo collector like most people think. Hey, i add, i write, i reply and i write and i really do communicate. Now when u see this, u must have thought if you really do, u must be the most busy person in the world, there are 400++ ppl in your list !!!! Well, some reply for a short period n then disappear, some write write write also dont reply, some deleted me w/o my knowledge, some reply within the range of 2 sentences, some reply until
not enough space then we shift to email but hey, those who reply are about 1% of my list.

You aren’t in my list, u reply but u stopped. I was wondering what is the purpose of being here. Isn’t this place is for making friends ? Some told me, internet can not trust, the details is fake, the pic is fake, the things they put is fake, the stories they tell also fake…. watever these ppl are fake….. okay!!!! so everything in this cyberworld is fake …..so what is real ? why are ppl flocking over here and pretend making friends ? If there are real ppl wif real stories n details in the net, y aren’t they open to sincere friends? Then they answered, they don’t know you, you are behind the screen, can’t verify at all…….I said, you got a point…. so what if i lie to you right on your face, can u tell that im lying ? Hahaha… got them….

Then they said, the ppl in their list are all known, they know them in real life…… Oh okay…. so y cant they meet me in real and then i be their real friend? they said, safety mah…. who knows you are a serial rapist killer with a vampire sucking teeth
with a monster inside you who are planning to pounce on them when you got the chance ? Bad news bout these stories is on and off in the press, don’t u know ? I said, okay……, so everything here is fake, people who dare to make me their real
friends is risking their life for being killed, raped, brutally tortured by this possible monster in everyone of us…. So this is a place to group only known existing friends who they already known for years in real life….

So where do i seek new friends ? All my friends from college are here n there except where i stay….. and i am forbid from this crowded places filled with killing smokes which flocks over there and drink liver killings liquid.. so how ? how ar,
huh ??? Go back to school ? Go to gym ? Hmm…. maybe go to bookstores…. haha….. Jolene, what do u do for ur leisures ? Is your friends all your
existing known real friends ? What is your concern for now ?

-Boon Eu.

Jolene wrote:

You’re scary. I ignore people on friendster for leisure. Yes, all 500+ people on my list are friends from real life. My concern is you.

Bye bye.

o_o Nah, I didn’t send that back to him. I also malas to reply. Later he send me another loooong message. Wastage of brain space to try and read through it.

Freak!! Have you ever had someone demand that you reply their messages??? By the way? Bad english..baaaad baaaaaaaad baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Sorry lah, abit anal about these things. I know I don’t speak(most of the time) or write(sometimes) like the Queen Of England, but if it’s my first time talking to a certain someone, I will be trying my very best to avoid the simplest grammatical blunder.

That aside, my god. Will you look at his novel of a Friendster message?? And those points are quite silly.

If someone doesn’t want to be a friend, she won’t reply. Take the hint, buddy. No need to reply with an entire thesis discussing about the pros and cons about making friends online. Furthermore it is not even ENTICING to talk to a stranger.

Gone are the days of adding random people to my ICQ list and surfing IRC to make “new friends”. Those were the days when only a grand total of 2 people from my standard 6 class had internet at home.

These days? I can’t even find time or energy to layan ALL my real life friends online(I still love you guys, you know I do. Just message me anytime,we’ll catch up.. yam cha or something?) and most of them don’t message me for nothing because they are very busy as well.

Whereelse, friends through blogging, that’s a whole new genre. We share the same interests, we have a slight understanding about each other’s lives via our blogs… but other means of friends-making ie. Skype, Friendster, MSN Pages, what not what not.. ugh. So … I don’t know…internet noob(female)/internet perv(male.).