What I Might Blog About: At Age 35

14 September, 2022:

It is very dangerous to put bored young boys to be in charge of the local 24 hours convenience store.

Unfortunately that is the closest place where The Husband and I can get our weekly supply of condoms. Unfortunately condoms are still made of rubber. You would think after so many years of R&D those old farts at Durex would have been able to come up with a rubber tough enough to withstand wears and tears. Oh, and needle-poking activities of bored young cashiers at the local 24 hours convenience store too.

At least I will be consoled by the idea that I will have four children to see me into my old age. If I had my way, the mother fuckers at the local 24 hours convenience store should pay for our child support. I will have a talk with Esther about it, she should be able to help me with the lawsuit.

I don’t know if I can handle a forth one, what with the oldest only entering primary school last week. It will be a long way more to go, Jolene. A long way. Many more years of puke wiping, parent-teacher meet ups, car wrecks and the usual.

I refuse to go into detail about how I discovered the holes in the condom because really, you won’t want to hear about the things the Husband and I get up to when the kids are all tucked up. *Long silence for imagination to take place*

The Husband is secretly happy that he is not shooting blanks just yet, but I’m actually worried about the risks of having a baby after the age of 35. Let’s not forget that high blood pressure runs in the family. And I am actually quite embarassed about meeting up with the persistent Ben Shyen the Gynae, AGAIN. I can hardly look at him during our reunions.

Honestly, with three kids who seem to be on a sugar high at all times, a forth one will see me running for the balcony. I mean when you are happily reading blogs (all the old timers at PPS) you won’t like to have your toddler showing you his keyboard thomping abilities.

Oh, I just received an email from the local 24 hours convenience store management. They are only offering to pay for the kindergarten fees. Wtf? I’ll try negotiating and get them to settle the tertiary education instead. Heh.

*This post is fictional. I’ve decided that when I am bored, I will spew out fictional entries that I might blog when I’m older and am still in the blogging scene. None about the next 5 years. Don’t want to keep my hopes up about anything or jinx anything. There will be more to come. I’m looking forward to writing about the one when I’m supposed to be 72 years old.